Save Dave
by PurtFiend
Summary: Kurt is devastated and upset with the unfairness of the universe particularly in its dealings with his former bully David Karofsky. The universe was wrong and he was going to fix it. He is determined to save Dave, even if he has to go back in time to do it. Will he be able to save Dave? It seems impossible, especially since Dave is already dead.
1. Chapter 1

The first two chapters set up the idea and background so I hope you stick around for the third chapter when the story really gets moving with Kurt and Dave.

This story is hard in places, particularly these first few chapters because of the subject I explore which suicide, and the reason some people may choose that finality. I hope I cover it with enough sensitivity and understanding.

**Chapter one**

I remember the exact time I heard of David Karofsky's death.

I had just arrived at school and noticed the shock waves that were rippling through both the student and faculty population of McKinley high school. I didn't know what had happened but I knew someone had died.

There's a particular look students get when someone their own age dies; when they're suddenly slapped in the face with their own mortality. It doesn't matter who the student is, whether they had loads of friends or just a few; a death of a teen deeply affects the rest. The students walked around quietly, or stood in groups, their pale faces showing shock and disbelief, speaking in muted tones.

It was Blaine that came up to me and asked if I had heard the news. When I told him I hadn't, he told me quietly without any elaboration what he knew about Dave. There was the outing at his school, the severe bullying and Dave's eventual suicide. I stood there stunned unable to work my mouth. I wasn't shocked; it affected me much deeper than that. The twisted feeling in my gut was so wrenching that I had to run to the nearest restroom and vomit. I didn't stay at school that day, just left for my car as soon as I expelled everything from my stomach and went home. I didn't cry; I was far too desolate for that.

At first, I thought the inconsolable feelings I had, came from the fact that I didn't answer any of his calls before he died. It certainly gave me a tremendous amount of guilt and it weighed heavily on my mind. The guilt was always there, but it paled in comparison to the emptiness I felt now that he was gone. It was so weird; I hardly ever considered him while he was alive. I was aware of him only enough to try and avoid him as much as possible, especially when he admitted he had feelings for me. Even so, I just took it for granted that he would always be around. Then one day he was gone for good and on that day my life just fell apart.

I hid the inner turmoil I felt from other people, and somehow managed to keep it together and appear normal until the day of the funeral. If I had only known what was going to happen I wouldn't have gone. I had been to memorials and funerals before, where there were pictures of the deceased on display and perhaps a closed coffin or an urn sitting amongst the myriad of flowers. But I had never been to a funeral with an open coffin. I saw him lying there from a distance and immediately felt a cold dread wash over me. I didn't want to view the body, but it seemed like a respectful thing to do for the family. I pushed down the sickening feeling inside me and walked with Finn across the room to see David up close. I had never seen a dead person in my life and it was so eerie looking over Dave's still form.

"He looks like he's asleep." Finn whispered. I simply stared at him. I wanted to scream, _Asleep!? Are you insane? He doesn't look asleep! No matter how deep a person sleeps you can always tell that they're alive. David's dead! He's so still, worse than an inanimate object, a statue or a wax works dummy! _I clamped my hand over my mouth to stop the wail that wanted to burst out. I tried to rein my raging feelings in but I couldn't stop the onslaught. I struggled not to hyperventilate but I felt an overwhelming panic take me. The world around me became muted and started to spin sickeningly. Apparently Finn caught me before I knocked my head on the casket as my legs gave out from under me. I came to in another room with my Dad's worried face hovering over me. I suddenly remembered that the Glee club was asked to sing a few inspirational songs at the service and I was to do a solo, but after seeing Dave like that, I knew I couldn't do it. I asked if we could leave immediately and Dad quickly made arrangements for Finn and Carol to get a ride home after the funeral so he can drive me back to our place. I heard later that Mercedes did a remarkable job of singing the song I had chosen, Halleluiah.

The next day, I went back to school and tried to get back into the rhythm of things but found it difficult. When I walked the halls of school, I heard the snickering of people joking about the fact I fainted when I saw a dead person. _It wasn't just a dead person, it was Dave!_ I wanted to shout but I had neither the strength nor the will to bother. I couldn't concentrate on school work or on Glee rehearsals all week and I didn't care. Mr. Schue and Miss Pillsbury eventually called me in for a talk about my lack of interest in Glee and I surprised them and myself by quitting then and there. Nothing seemed to matter anymore.

My Dad was becoming seriously worried about me as I sank deeper and deeper into depression. I knew I was gradually pulling away from life but I could not do anything about it. I was so exhausted, depleted and sad. My Dad, family and friends could not understand why Karofsky's suicide affected me so deeply nor could I explain it.

When the four month mark had passed since Dave's death, I still felt the pain of it as if it were yesterday. I was on my third psychiatrist, and he like the others before him said I have to want to be helped. He wanted me to talk about my feelings about Dave's death so I could get better. How I could tell him what I felt when I didn't have any feelings at all? They were wiped out when Dave died. Other than being antidepressant dispensers, these Doctors hadn't helped at all.

Time passed while I was in this fog and school finished, the Glee club won the nationals without me and the summer was almost over. I started working at my Dad's garage at the beginning of summer and I must admit that working on the cars give me some respite from my constantly mulling brain. I could almost forget that Dave was gone for the brief time I'm was under a hood, sorting out an engine's problem. So I got into a bit of a routine; I got up, went to work and went back home again. As soon as I got home I went to my bedroom and stayed there. I'm sure my Dad wondered what I did up there. Well it was nothing much, since I would lie on my bed and stare at the ceiling. Occasionally I would turn and look at the clock and wonder where the time went. I didn't sleep - I couldn't sleep. In the past, one source of constant argument between me and my dad was the amount of shopping and I did on a regular basis. Now my Dad would plead with me to head out to the mall sometime. I couldn't be bothered.

My friends tried to lure me out of my insular ways. Throughout the summer they invited me to barbeques or pool parties but I wasn't into doing anything socially anymore. I waited them out, knowing that sooner or later the Glee kids would have to leave me alone as they pursue their own busy lives. Soon they would be going out to their various colleges and getting on with their lives and would leave me behind. The plans I had for going to New York were put on hold and I told my dad I wanted to work in the garage. At first Dad was saddened by my decision but later, I could tell that he thought it was better that I stay and work for a year under his watchful eye. He was afraid of what might happen to me in this state of mind if I was alone in New York. I told him I was not going to commit suicide. I might not have had any reason to live anymore but I also didn't have a reason to die either. Besides, at the time it seemed too much of an effort to come up with some plan to do myself in. During one of the many dreary days that went by, one after the other, Blaine came to me with an ultimatum. He told me he was fed up competing for my attentions with a dead guy. I had to choose either Dave's ghost or him. I didn't choose him, but I didn't want a ghost for a boyfriend either. I just wanted Dave alive so we could be actual friends.

Several months after Dave's death, Paul Karofsky keeled over at work and died of a massive heart attack. I didn't go to the funeral, I just couldn't. So two premature deaths in the same family in a half a year, it seemed that the universe had it in for the Karofsky family. Was this bad karma? Or were these two people dead because of some cosmic fuck up? All during the time since Dave's death I had been thinking over and over again - this is a mistake! In my gut I felt that Dave was supposed to be alive. Something had gone horribly wrong and I wanted to fix it.

"Hey Buddy, how are ya doin'?" My Dad asks me as he peers around my bedroom door.

"Fine." I say from my usual position on my back in bed, staring up at the ceiling. "I'm so tired, I was just trying to rest."

My dad stares at me, for he continually looks for any sign that I'm getting better. I know what he sees, for I've seen the person staring back at me in the mirror. He sees a son whose hair is dull, lifeless and unkempt, his skin sallow and pale, looking as if he lives in a cave (which is almost true since I rarely leave my bedroom) and he sees the dark circles under my eyes from lack of sleep. He sighs as if in defeat, "Um, actually Santana and Britney are here to see you. Do you want to come down stairs?"

I gradually stir and sit up. I don't really want to see them but I know how much it will hurt my Dad if I send them away. So instead I say, "Do mind if they come up here?"

"No, that's fine, I'll send them up."

Dad runs downstairs to fetch the girls. He leaves the door open and I can hear everything that is said on the landing. "He won't come down but he wants you to come up and see him up in his room. That's something at least."

"We'll try and coax him to go out for a coffee with us." Santana replies.

"You'll be lucky. I can't remember the last time he went out other than to the garage for work."

"I was away for most of the summer. I haven't seen him in so long. Is he doing any better?" Britney asks sounding concerned.

"He's not great. He's not eating or not sleeping well. He's lost a lot of weight. He used to be such a clothes horse but he doesn't care about his appearance anymore. He tends to walk around in old t-shirts and sweat pants. I'm really worried about him. I'm glad you both have come. He always seems a little better after his Glee friends see him."

"C'mon Brit let's see if you can't brighten his day." Santana says.

"The universe cries when a unicorn is sad." Britney states in a serious voice to my Dad and I hear their footsteps on the stairs moving towards me.

* * *

Britney, Santana and I sit together on the bed with the silence between us growing more and more uncomfortable. The two girls have been trying all kinds of topics to draw me into a conversation without success and I guess Santana has finally had enough.

"I could kill Dave if he wasn't already dead!" She exclaims in an outburst that shocks both me and Britney.

"Santana! How can you say that?!" I ask horrified.

"It's about time we talk about the elephant in the room, Dave's death. Suicide is such a coward's way out. How could he leave us all suffering like this?" she continues.

"You saw what they did to his facebook page. He faced all that hatred alone. He had no support from his mother or friends. He –" I stop in mid-sentence as a wave of guilt and remorse hits me. I was one of his supposed friends and I didn't answer any of texts or phone calls. It often does this to me, my guilt. It suddenly sneaks up on me and clenches my heart and squeezes. I feel physical pain that leaves me gasping.

"His Dad supported him and loved him," Santana continues. "I talked to him at Dave's funeral and he told me he tried to discuss his son's sexual orientation with him but Dave shut him out and wouldn't talk. If Dave had only trusted him he might still be alive."

I swallow and sniff, not bothering to stop tears flowing down my cheeks. "He reached out to me and I let him down. He's dead because of me."

"He's dead because he tied a rope around his neck in his bedroom closet and kicked the chair over. It's not your fault that he's dead. You can't blame yourself for his actions. You didn't know what he was thinking of doing." Santana argues.

"I didn't bother to find out." I mutter morosely.

"You are not the only one that feels guilty. When I found out he was gay I blackmailed him into being my beard. After that stupid prom fiasco I just dropped him as a boyfriend. He tried to contact me afterwards and left messages for me as well. I meant to get back to him but I had my own problems and never got around to it."

Santana continues, "Dave's dad blamed himself too. He told me that he was coming home early that day and had a choice of whether to stop for a coffee or make one at home. He stopped for a coffee. He said that wrong decision cost him his son. If he had arrived moments earlier the paramedics may have been able to revive him. The guilt of that decision stayed with him. That's why I'm so angry at Dave. Leaving us so sad and feeling guilty about what we should have done when really there was nothing we could have done. He chose to end his life that particular way. It was so thoughtless! How could he let his father find him in that way? I seriously think the shock of it killed him. I doubt he would have had the heart attack if Dave was still alive."

"He died of a broken heart." Britney adds softly.

"Exactly!" exclaims Santana.

"Dave probably didn't even think about what would happen after his death. He just wanted the pain to end." I say in a garbled emotion chocked voice and rub my face clear of tears. "Depression is such a deadly spiral downward. The pain grows so much that it pushes out the ability to think about anybody else's."

"Kurt you're not thinking along the same lines, are you?" Santana asks frightened.

"No not really. It's just – I don't know how to explain it. My life is off-kilter. It doesn't seem right anymore. I feel deep in my bones that Dave shouldn't have died. It's wrong. It's a mistake."

"It was Dave's mistake but we have to live with it." Santana gripes.

"No, he means it shouldn't have happened. It was the universe's mistake. Dave should be alive." Britney pipes up.

"That's exactly what I mean!" I can't believe Britney of all people, understands.

Santana looks back and forth between us confused, but decides it wasn't worth figuring out. "Look, since we're obviously not going out for a coffee I'm going to go down to the kitchen and see if there is any coke. Does anyone else want one?" Britney and I nod. I don't really want a coke, I just want Santana to leave us alone so that I can talk to Britney.

Once she's gone I quickly turn to Britney and ask excitedly, "Do you feel the same, that something is out of whack with the universe?"

"Not this time. But it happened to me before and I was able to change it and get things right with the universe again."

"How!?"

"By going back in time and fixing my mistake!" Britney finishes happily.

"What? You think we can go back to the past and fix our mistakes?!" I ask incredulously.

"Of course! I went back in time a week and fixed a terrible mistake I made with Lord Tubbington."

"You went back in time to correct a mistake you made with your cat." I repeat back slowly.

"Uh Huh. You see I accidentally threw out Lord Tubbington's favourite toy while cleaning my room. He must have pushed it under some papers and when I put them in for recycling the toy went too. You should have seen the state of Lord Tubbington. He was so upset – he wouldn't eat or sleep or play with any of his other toys. He was so angry with me he wouldn't talk to me or look at me for days. He was becoming so listless and depressed, and I was feeling the same as well. It was like something was out of line with my world, that I was taking the wrong path. Everything I did after losing his toy felt odd like I was in the wrong version of events."

"So what did you do?" I have to ask in despite myself because I am caught up in the story.

"Well I answered this little ad on Craig's List explaining how with magic herbs you can relive mistakes you made and put them right. That's how I met Tante Zoe. She's so amazing and she lives right here in Lima. She told me she was a Creole witch that moved here with her family after the hurricane destroyed her home in New Orleans. She is at least a hundred years old."

"You'd think she would have gone back in time and moved her family and processions before the hurricane hit," I note wryly.

"Oh No! She said she was too old and too tired to go back and change things, besides she likes it here in Lima."

"She sounds a little crazy in the head."

"Maybe she is but she helped me. I liked her a lot."

"Well what did she do for you exactly?" I ask, very curious.

She then gave me a small pouch of aromatic herbs and told me I had to set it alight in the evening before I went to bed..."

"She GAVE you the pouch of herbs?"

"Yes, for 25 dollars. I would have paid 125 dollars if it meant that Lord Tubbington would love me again. Anyways, I went home and burned the herbs and thought very carefully about the day I wanted go back to, and how I was going to change the outcome. I wished and wished, I wished harder than I ever have in my whole life, just to make it right with Lord Tubbington. The next morning when I woke up I realised it was a week earlier on the exact day that I lost Lord Tubbington's toy. I immediately went to the pile of paper waiting to be recycled that was there on the floor and carefully went through the papers. I found the toy mouse and gave it to Lord Tubbington and then threw out the paper. I then spent the rest of the week as normal, except I was able to change other things like – studying and doing better on my history test – I got a C- rather than a D+ and I didn't buy these cheap earrings that made my ears go green. Lord Tubbington didn't even realise I had gone back in time. He just kept playing happily with his toy mouse as if nothing had happened. We are so happy now and everything is right with the world. I went back to Tante Zoe and told her all about it."

"I don`t know if I can believe…"

"Oh Kurt what have you got to lose? You are so sad and unicorns are supposed to be gay - I mean the happy gay not just the boy kissing gay – it's the law of the universe. Here's her card. Talk to her Kurt, she might be able to help."

"Thanks Brit," I say and look at the card. It is a white card from heavy but cheap stock with blurry edges from the cards you punch out of printed pages. The font is a plain Helvetica with just the name Tante Zoe and a phone number. I keep staring at it unwilling to put it down. I feel I should give it back to Britney but she looks so earnest and happy to help. Finally I shake my head at my gullibility and place it carefully in my wallet.

Britney smiles and says, "You'll like Tante Zoe. She likes unicorns and she knows that we feel we have a responsibility to make things right."

* * *

"A Creole witch that can help you relive your past!" I shake my head at the silliness of Britney as I lay on the bed after the girls had left. Britney and her wacky ideas constantly amaze me.

Still, wouldn't it be great if it was true? I imagine myself arriving in the nick of time and talking Dave out of hanging himself. I would pull a crying David into a tight hug and rock back and forth telling him how much he would have been missed if he had gone through with it. Dave would look at me with grateful teary eyes and say…

I never got any further with that thought because I heard a quiet tap at the door and knew it was my Dad coming to say goodnight.

"Come in Dad."

"Hey Kurt. Did you enjoy the visit with your friends?"

"It was okay." I pause, deeply thinking. "Dad, do you think it is possible that Dave wasn't meant to die?"

"I'm not sure what you mean?" Dad walks further into the room and sits on the bed, happy to talk since I very rarely discuss Dave's death.

"What if one of us was supposed to intervene to stop him and didn't?"

"What do you mean by intervene?"

"Well what if I was supposed to answer one of his calls. What if I could have done something, anything to prevent his death?"

"Kurt what if answering his calls wasn't enough. Dave may have been further down that one particular path for you to be any help. You can't save everybody."

"I only want to save Dave. But now it's too late. If only I had known he was suffering so badly." I sighed.

"Ahh the 'if onlys'." Dad smiles sadly. "I had about a hundred of them when your Mom passed away."

"You did?"

"Sure! If only I'd done this. If only I'd done that. If only I'd done the other thing."

"Mom died of cancer, what could you have done differently?" I ask.

"If only I could have demonstrated my love for her more; if only I appreciated my time together with her more; and if only I laughed with her more." My dad sighs sadly.

"If you could have turned back time and gone back, you still couldn't do anything concrete and help her beat cancer."

"I don't know; I could have paid more attention in school, aced my biology exams, attended a prestigious college become a world-renowned scientist and discover the cure for cancer." Dad deadpans and I actually laugh. It has been awhile.

"Would you really do all that?" I ask.

"If I had done all that, I wouldn't have been with your mother. As I said before, she was the reason I didn't pay much attention in my last year of school. I doubt we could have stayed together if I had run off to medical school." My dad explains.

"My point is," I continue getting back on topic, "I actually could have done something to help Dave when he was in trouble but I didn't. At the time I thought he was annoying, constantly phoning and I'm so ashamed now of thinking like that.'

Dad thinks for a moment and then answers, "We all make choices based on the knowledge and prejudices we carry around with us. You didn't know he what he was thinking of doing in the future. You had a very rough past with the boy and you weren't really friends with him. You did what most people would have done; you ignored his calls and got on with your life."

"Some people would have answered the phone and talked with him."

"Yes and some people would have phoned the police to report him as a stalker."

"That doesn't make me feel better. I just wish I could go back in time with the knowledge I have now and do things differently."

Dad chuckles, "Wouldn't we all love to go back and correct our mistakes."

"Santana said that Paul Karofsky felt that he could have saved his son if only he hadn't stopped for a coffee on the way home. What if he was supposed to find David before he died?" I ask and look up searching my father's face. "What if he could have gone back in time knowing what was at stake. He could have raced home in time to save Dave."

"Where is this coming from? You really believe in time travel?" Dad looks at me, skeptical.

"I just feel that something is wrong, that Dave wasn't meant to die. I can't shake the feeling."

"Kurt, you need to come to terms with the fact that Dave wasn't saved. Dave's death won't be as tragic if we learn something from Dave's life. We should treat each other more kindly and with more compassion instead of taking them for granted. We should communicate more and find out why someone behaves the way they do, especially since we're such complicated emotional beings. And one more thing, we should be easier on ourselves and not let self-hatred take over our decisions." Dad explains in his careful thoughtful way.

"Do you think Dave was a coward in taking his life?" I ask.

"No I don't think that, not at all. It just happened to be the option he chose at that point in his life."

"Santana is so angry at him for choosing that option." I respond sadly.

"What do you think of his choice?" Dad asks obviously probing.

"I think it was the wrong one, but I can understand why he did it. He may have felt so trapped that he couldn't see any other way out of his predicament."

"Kurt if you ever feel so trapped that you see no way out, you will let me know before you make his kind of decision, won't you?" It is painful seeing my Dad pleading.

"Dad don't worry!" I sniff, allowing my tears to flow freely. "I'll find a way out of this."

Dad clears his throat and hugs me tightly. "You get some rest now," he whispers.

* * *

_I find myself walking the empty halls of McKinley high school desperately looking for something. I thought could hear Dave calling and pleading for me to come and help. I run through room after room and down corridors that go on for miles. I see Dave just up ahead of me but just as I catch up to him he disappears around a corner. "Wait! Wait up!" I scream, but he doesn't hear me because I have no volume in my voice. I try running after him but I can't move my legs. When I finally make it around the corner I am just in time to see him enter a room and close the door. I am so desperate to make my way to the door but it is like I am wading through mud and so I can't make much headway._ W_hen I finally make it to the door I feel a horrible sense of foreboding; I don't want to open door but it opens anyway. I don't want to go into the room but suddenly I am standing in the middle it. The room is completely white and I can't tell where the walls end and the ceiling or floor begins. I hear a strange creaking noise and try not to look, because I know instinctively what it means. But I am compelled to look up and I see a pair of feet swinging in the air. My eyes follow the feet and legs till I see Dave's blue swollen face and the rope. I just stare, too overwhelmed to do anything. I see movement in my periphery and I tear my eyes away from the gruesome sight of Dave. Two cheerleaders I instantly recognise start to perform._

"_2, 4, 6, 8, who's the guy who came too late? Kuuurrrt Hummmmeelllll!" Both Santana and Brit sing out as they shake their pompoms and do some high kicks. _

_I slowly start to glide without moving my legs pass the girls, drawn to a wizened old woman sitting in the corner in a white wicker chair. _

_She is very tiny and frail with yellowed parchment-thin wrinkly skin draped over her bones. She is also dressed in white with a white kerchief wrapped around her head. Her face looks almost like it is slipping off her skull since her features have flattened and sagged over time as it happens with the extremely old. Her piercing eyes are like shiny black polished stones and they seem to bore into my very soul. A scrawny thin arm rises up and a boney finger curls and straightens then curls again, indicating that I should approach her. I start gliding towards her as if she is pulling me towards her with an invisible piece of string. I come to an abrupt stop a few feet in front of her._

"Mon Cheri, _come to your old Tante Zoe. We'll set things right." She mumbles and her face deforms into a weird rubbery smirk as she smiles. It is obvious that she does not have a tooth in her head._

I wake up with a start. I shake my head to dislodge the confused feelings and look around frantically trying to get my bearings. I am in my bed and judging by the clock it is seven o'clock in the morning. I must have slept through the entire night. I haven't done that since Dave's death. For the first time in a long time I feel invigorated like I have finally found a solution. My dream was so detailed and felt so real. Just as I had felt that it was wrong for David to be dead, I am just as positive that Tante Zoe can help me in setting it right. I can save Dave! I knew it was early but I couldn't wait. I grab my phone and the card and start thumbing in the number. The ring is answered almost immediately.

"Hello? Can I speak to Tante Zoe?"

"You can speak to her. Come this morning Cheri, about 11:00 o'clock she'll be able to see you then. Do you have a pen?" The voice is that of a young woman with a thick New Orleans accent.

"Uh yes" I quickly grab a pen and a scrap of paper from my night stand and take down the address as the girl dictates it to me. I am just about to ask another question when the woman adds, "make sure you bring twenty-five dollars with you." and the line disconnects. I think it was very odd that she didn't ask who I was or what I wanted.

My stomach rumbles with hunger, and I find that I actually have an appetite for breakfast. It was my usual habit to skip it.

Dad is deliriously happy to see me downstairs in the kitchen eating something. "Hey bud, it's good to see you down here. How d'ya sleep?"

"I slept through the whole night." I look up at my dad and smile. "I've got an errand to run this morning so I'm going to take a shower after breakfast and go out in my car. I shouldn't be gone long."

"That's great Kurt!"

It hurts to see how happy my dad is over such an inconsequential thing. I finish my breakfast and clear away my plate. "Well I guess I'll go up to my room and start to get ready. See you later Dad."

My Dad beams; I hardly ever go out of the house, certainly not on my own volition. As I go upstairs I glance back and catch his puzzled face. I speed up the stairs before he can ask - what errand?


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"I must be totally insane!" I mutter to myself for the twentieth time as I sit in my car outside Tante Zoe's house just before 11:00am. This morning when I woke, it seemed perfectly reasonable to call up this Tante Zoe person, but now I'm here it seems perfectly ridiculous. "This is for Dave." I say one more time. and step out of the car and walk to the house.

I knock on the door and wait and wait – and wait. I'm just about to knock on the door again when it opens. A little girl with pigtails and the biggest brown eyes I have ever seen stands there looking at me, sucking her thumb. We stare at each other for a few seconds until the child suddenly spins on her heels and runs down hall. "Mamma! There's a strange white man at the door!" she shouts at the top of her lungs.

"Desiree! Get the door!" An older woman's voice shouts from the back of the house.

I just stand at the entrance not sure what I'm supposed to do. A bored teenaged girl appears out of nowhere and signals me to follow her.

We walk down the hall to the last room on the right which she opens and motions me in. She closes the door behind me not saying a word, leaving me in the room. I step into the centre of a quite sunny room that has very garish 1970's wallpaper on three of the walls. I glance around the sparsely furnished room idly as I wait for whatever will happen next. A small cough brings my attention to a big chair in the corner of the room where an elderly lady sits. I am stunned when I realise that she is the same woman in that was in my dream. This has to be Tante Zoe. Instead of wearing a white dress, she is wearing a periwinkle coloured dress with a small repeating pattern in white. Her head is wrapped in a printed cloth close to the same blue as her dress and I can see tiny wisps of cottony white hair peeking out.

I realise that we have been staring at each other in silence for quite some time. I decide that I should make some kind of attempt at courteousness. "Tante Zoe, my name is Kurt Hummel." I say as I hold out my hand to her.

The hundred year old woman merely nods and indicates that I should sit in the chair close to her. I sit down and wait patiently for her to speak. She simply grins a gummy grin at me and stays silent.

_Is this some sort of test to see if I'm serious?_ I wonder as I sit there, feeling more uncomfortable as the silence continues. Just when I am about ready to ask Tante Zoe what was going on, the door to the room opens again and in saunters Desiree still as bored looking as ever. She ambles over to Tante Zoe with a small bowl and waits. The ancient woman dutifully opens her mouth and the teen pops the contents of the bowl in her mouth. Tante Zoe works her lips around the object and once they are in place she gives me a dazzling white smile. Desiree leaves as silently as she came after delivering the dentures.

"These old false teeth (click) hurt my gums, but it is almost impossible (click) for people to understand what I say (click) without them in." Tante Zoe states; her ill-fitting dentures seem to click to on certain words as if to emphasize them.

I'm not sure what to say to that so I just smile blandly and nod.

"Now then (click) Mon Cheri" Tante Zoe smiles again and leans forward to pat my knee. "You want to go back in the (click) past."

I am little startled that she knows that. Perhaps she only gets customers who want to go back in time. "Yes, that's correct. I had this friend who…"

"I don't need to know the (click) details." Tante Zoe interrupts.

"You don't?!"

"I'll get the details the next time you come."

"The next time I..."

"After you get everything you want sorted out." She says interrupting me again. "It's not concerning a cat or other domestic animal is it?"

"No, it concerns my..."

"Oh good! A few weeks ago I had a visit from this blonde haired (click) crazy girl and she spent an hour talkin' about her (click) cat. I can't waste an hour of my time like that. I'm a (click) hundred years old; I don't have much (click) time left." Tante Zoe explains.

"Don't you have to know? What if I want to change something that will ruin this time line?"

Tante Zoe just laughs, "You watch too much TV. Do you realise how big the (click) universe is? How many billions of stars there are? The universe has been here a long, (click) long time and it will be here a long, long time after we're (click) dead. Do you really think anything you can possibly do will make a scrap of difference to the (click) universe?"

"We're not talking about the universe, we're talking about me going back in time, in this world and changing something that will affect certain people here in Lima. Those small changes could influence bigger changes and those changes could affect still bigger changes." I argue. "What about the butterfly affect which says if a butterfly flaps his wings…"

"You still worry too much about your influence. The world is an organic thing; it (click) stabilizes and balances itself all the (click) time. Nothing you can do in the past will affect the world today – well maybe it will affect your little world in Lima," Tante Zoe allows, "but isn't that precisely the (click) reason you are going back?"

"So I can do anything I want and not worry about ruining the fabric of time?" I ask just to make sure.

Tante Zoe chuckles, "Fabric of time! Oh lordy! Are you from that (click) show, what was it called - Star Trek? You won't ruin anything, besides I worry more about what we're doing to this (click) world in the present time. We're polluting it with our (click) garbage! Crazy people in crazy countries stock piling old Nukes. I'd worry more about what we do now and how it will affect the (click) future! Besides, the universe looks after itself. You won't be able to go back if it's not necessary."

"I think it's necessary. What do I do exactly to jump back in time?"

"My great-granddaughter Desiree will sell you a bag of (click) herbs. Tonight, just before you go to bed, you should burn those herbs and stare into a (click) candle. Now the herbs are not magic, they just put you in the right mood to help you with your (click) concentration. It is up to you to set your (click) mind and will yourself back in time to the day you want to relive. If you do it correctly you should wake up on the (click) day that you want to go back to," she explains.

"Wait! I'm supposed to WILL myself back in time!?" I ask dubiously.

"Do you have faith?"

"I don't believe in God if that's what you're asking." I exclaim sounding defensive.

"Faith by itself has nothing to do with (click) God. Do you have faith in yourself?" Tante Zoe asks pointedly.

"I suppose so."

"You suppose you have faith in yourself? What sort of answer is that? Either you do or you don't. Do you even know what (click) faith is?"

"I'm not sure." I answer honestly.

"Faith is not hope that things will turn out. Faith is not asking some superior being to help (click) save you. Faith is expectation. Faith is knowing without a doubt that (click) something is going to happen. That it already has happened, but it is just waiting to manifest itself. Do you have faith that the (click) sun is going to shine tomorrow?"

"Well yes…"

Tante Zoe interrupts, "of course you do, because you know for a fact that the sun is there shining in the (click) sky whether clouds and bad weather obscure it or not. Every day of your life you have woken up to the sun being (click) there. If you have that kind of faith in yourself, and have the (click) determination and desire to turn back time to save your friend then it will happen. We perceive time as a linier movement. If you understand that it is not linier, you can focus on a particular point in time and go back, but it takes faith, expectation and determination to make it work. Don't blame the herbs if it doesn't work, YOU have to make it happen. You have to (click) demand this from the universe!" Tante Zoe finishes her speech off so impassioned she almost loses her ill-fitting teeth but she manages to push them back in her mouth just in time.

I must say I was impressed and invigorated. Her words seem to fill me with energy. I feel like I could do anything. "Thank you Tante Zoe!" I splutter enthusiastically.

Tante Zoe falls back in her chair exhausted. She waves her hand in a dismissive way. "Now you go Cheri and save your (click) friend."

I stand up to leave but as I pass her she grabs my hand. "Now think carefully about what point in time you want to go back to. Don't make a hasty (click) decision. Choose a time that will be the most benefit to you and your friend. Pick that point in time and (click) concentrate on it as hard as you can."

"Thanks again Tante Zoe." I say softly and hope fervently that I get to meet this amazing woman again. I impulsively bend down and kiss her cheek.

Tante Zoe giggles like a young girl. "I haven't been kissed by a boy in a long, long, long time. I can see you're a (click) heart-breaker Mon Cheri!" I smile and give her hand a small squeeze then leave the room to look for Desiree.

Just as I reach the living room, Desiree appears and thrusts a bag of herbs at me. "25 dollars," she declares and holds out her other hand for the money.

I give her the money and take the herbs and try to say bye but the girl had already plunked herself down on the couch to watch TV. I show myself out.

The rest of the day drags on forever as I wait for evening. I keep myself occupied by preparing a dinner for my family and cleaning my room. Both Dad and Carol are ecstatic to find dinner waiting for them when they get home and are even happier that I stay down and eat it with them. I am vague and deflect any questions about my errand but I can see my Dad is okay with that. At least I`m at the table and talking and that's far more than I have done in a long time. I even watch a little TV with Carol and Dad before retiring to my room.

When I finally get to my room I carefully take the bag of herbs from its hiding place and gently pour the bag's contents onto a plate. I almost choke on the aromatic greenish blue smoke that comes from the pile after I light it. I quickly open a window to let the smoke out and hope my Dad was still downstairs watching TV. He has enough worries without thinking I`m smoking weed. I light a candle I have already prepared the occasion and get ready. I figure a few deep breaths and some relaxation techniques the Psychiatrists have taught me can`t hurt. I deeply breath in herb smoke and focus on the flame.

I remember Tante Zoe's advice and think very carefully about the exact time I want to go back. I quickly dismiss the idea of going back just to answer Dave's phone calls. Dad was right; Dave was probably already too far along in his misery for me to really help him at that point in time. Just saving him from the actual suicide was not good enough. I want to make sure Dave has support and doesn't have to go through that horrible outing that he went through at his new school all alone.

It suddenly occurs to me that the best time to go back would be at the very beginning. The day when I first find out that David is gay, the day that Dave kisses me in the locker room. I realise that since I already know the outcome of events I can change my own reaction and perhaps Dave will change his behavior. I decide that I no longer need to react in fear to David's bullying tactics because I now know that Dave won't hurt me. Offering David friendship and support so early might make all the difference to his coming out and also I'll have plenty of opportunities and time to convince David not to hurt himself.

"I want to go back to the day of the kiss." I whisper the phrase a few times fervently to the candle but soon realise that phrase was wrong. It's not determined enough. If faith is expectation then I need a firmer more decisive sentence. "I WILL be going back to the day of the kiss." I chant in a stronger more determined voice. Yes that is better. I keep repeating the phrase over and over again like a mantra. After a while the chant changes itself again to "I AM going back to the day of the kiss." I'm happy with the new phrase and chant it with as much determination as possible. The smoke from the herbs burns my throat and the smell starts to become sickly sweet but I continue on saying the words over and over. I start to feel light headed and sweaty and find it difficult to stay seated.

I end up flopping over like I'm boneless and even though one part of my brain briefly wonders what the hell are these herbs, I continue to stare at the flame and chant. It becomes too difficult to annunciate all the words in the sentence because my tongue feels so thick and uncoordinated. In the end I just start chanting "Save Dave" over and over again. The summer night is hot, sticky and close and I'm dripping with sweat from my exertion. At some point in my feverish murmurings I have this clear vision of standing in the locker room with David grabbing me and kissing me and instead of pushing Dave away I kiss him back. A strong breeze comes through the open window and blows the candle out. The same cool breeze makes me shiver as a wave of coldness passes right through my body followed by a surprising wave of intense heat. My head starts pounding and I am hit with a strong wave of nausea, somehow I manage to stumble into bed before blackness descends.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three**

I wake up the next day with a terrible hangover. At least it feels like a hangover. My tongue feels like it is clothed in wool and my head is pounding worse than it did last night. I try to lay still , yet the incredible pain makes me thrash around. I don't want to open my eyes because I just know that the harsh shards of daylight will be extremely painful. When my eyes finally do flutter open , my ceiling is the first thing I see. After a moment I realise that it's not my ceiling - it was very familiar but it isn't my bedroom ceiling.

I sit up ever so slowly and look around to get my bearings. It is my bedroom alright, but it is the bedroom that I had when I lived downstairs! Cautiously optimistic, I look around for more clues. _Oh my God! The Supremes sampler!_ Despite my pounding head, I rush over to the garbage where I had shoved my designs for the Supremes costumes after I had tried to get the Glee guys wear for the "guys verses girls" contest. At the time I had been so angry and hurt by the boys' snub that I shoved it into the garbage (after salvaging some more expensive material swatches of course!).

I quickly try to figure out when that was and I realise that I had trashed the lot the day before the kiss! I had to know for sure so I rush over to my old closet to look through my shirts. I squeal with delight when I find my midnight blue Hugo Boss shirt. I love that shirt and it is still here! I know that it was ruined beyond repair by a slushy the day after the kiss.

Stupid me, my phone! I smack my head with my hand then curse out loud 'cause I momentarily forgot my head ache and now I've made it worse. I grab phone and check that, YES the date is correct and this is the day! Can I be dreaming? No, I can't be dreaming because who has an excruciating headache in a dream? But what if I'm only dreaming it hurts? I grab a bottle of my favourite skin care lotion and inhale deeply taking in the lovely apricot and almond aroma. I don't think people are able to smell stuff in their dreams! I'm positive now. I'm positive I am living over the day I want to and right now, Dave is alive and well! I dive into my closet excitedly and start planning what to wear. I'm beside myself with excitement and quickly prepare myself for what will be an eventful day.

* * *

It is really weird being back at school and watching all the drama between the Glee kids being played out again. Luckily my earlier self was organised and I had a class schedule up on my locker door so my present self can check the order of my classes. Repeating classes again will be interesting and I'm looking forward to appearing super smart since I have already sat through the lessons once already. It will be like a year of review so I will have plenty of time to concentrate on my mission to save Dave.

After my late-morning English class I started scanning the halls looking for Dave. Since I can't actually remember the particulars of how I ended up in the locker room with Dave (his searing kiss was all I remember from that day) I have decided to take the bull by the horns and find David as soon as possible to start things happening. I have to laugh at myself, at this time almost two years ago I would be scanning the halls for Dave so I can avoid him, but here I am hoping to make contact with him!

I turn the corner and stop dead. There is David a little further down the hall talking to some other jocks. He's joking and laughing and LIVING! My heart starts to pound and I feel almost dizzy. I want to rush over there and just touch him to feel the solid flesh and warm skin under my hands. Of course I can't do that, not in front of the jocks and not without getting my clock punched for sure, so I have to be content just watching Dave. He is smiling and nodding with the guys, looking happy and relaxed.

After a while the small group brakes up leaving Dave and the boy named Jackson(?) behind to talk a little longer. Finally the pair bump fists and Jackson leaves David alone and ambles down the hall. That's when I see it! Dave checks out his ass! I smile to myself and wonder how I missed that before. Does he have any idea how obvious he is?

"Hey Hummel! What are you grinning at? You better not be perving on me!" David growls at me angrily.

The sudden anger shocks me and I gasp and flush scarlet. I had forgotten how scary Dave was when he was a bully. I open my mouth to deny the charge but then shut it immediately and run off in the other direction, humiliated. _ Wow! Great first meeting Kurt!_ I think angrily to myself, _You are not going to get very far if you run and hide whenever he confronts you!_ I head off to my next class feeling pretty dejected. Suddenly this seems so real and my mission so huge. What if I can't change the course of events?

* * *

This morning when I arrived at school, I wasn't sure what to expect, or how I would react emotionally. I remember last time, going through so much heart ache during this time period with worries over my dad's health, and the fear associated with Dave's bullying. Now that I'm back, and am not filled with fear for Dad or Dave. I can actually appreciate the support and relationships I have with my friends.

As I stride down the hall eager to sing in Glee practise, I feel my phone vibrating. I look and see that I have a message from Blaine. Blaine, my boyfriend that was, but isn't yet. This time travelling thing is confusing! I just can't keep my tenses correct! The message just says COURAGE. I smile at the message, remembering back to the beginning of our friendship, and I start thinking how kind and supportive Blaine had been about the bullying.

I remember that I, or rather the old Kurt had just visited Dalton yesterday. There is something else concerning this message and I wrack brain trying to remember, the memory was there hovering so close almost forming into something important…_ OH SHIT! _I realise a second too late and I get rammed from behind by a teenaged freight train by the name of Karofsky. My phone goes flying one way and I fly the other and get face planted right into a locker before falling to the ground. I am momentarily shocked by the force of it. I had forgotten how violent Dave's aggression was towards me.

David turns back to survey the damage then turns to walk nonchalantly down the hall towards the boys' locker room. I get up, dust myself off and walk after him. _And so history repeats itself _I think as I ready myself outside the locker room door. This time I'll go in non-confrontational and be as gentle as I can. I just hope David doesn't kill me for my kindness.

"David?" I call out more timidly then I had hoped as I open the door.

"Girls' locker room is next door, Hummel," Dave replies chuckling slightly at his joke.

"David, I think we should talk." I say trying to muster as much confidence as I can.

"Excuse me?" Dave responds surprised.

"I know you're scared but-"

"Scared, me? Maybe I'm scared that you're sneaking in here to take a peek at my junk!" Dave responds continuing to collect stuff from his locker.

"I'm not here to peek at your junk." I argue but then add as a kindly afterthought. "Though I'm sure it's very nice."

"What?! Are you perving on me again Hummel?" David says, quickly turning around to face me.

"No! I just want to talk to you about the bullying. I want to discuss the reasons why you do it."

"I'll be happy to discuss the reasons why I do it Hummel," David repeats sarcastically. "I do it because I hate fags!"

"Then you must hate yourself." I retort angrily.,

David looks shocked , then mad as hell. In an instant before I can even react, David reaches forward and grabs me by the lapels and flings me against the locker. He towers over me, easily pinning me to the lockers with brute force. David's face is mere inches away from me and I could feel his hot breath hit me in harsh bursts.

"What the hell do you mean by that?" Dave grinds out menacingly.

I swallow thickly, scared out of my wits but I continue on anyways. "Dave I think you're gay. And I think you need support and encouragement to deal with your sexuality."

David's face, already in a tight grimace; gets even tighter as his eyes narrow. "Where the fuck did you get that idea? Was somebody talking? Did you hear rumors?"

"When I was in the hall this afternoon, I noticed that you checked out Jackson's ass as he was leaving." Of course I know our whole history but I can't tell Dave any of it so I use what happened today to my advantage.

Dave pales, he obviously wasn't expecting that. He eases up on me a little and goes all defensive. "I was not checking out his ass! I was checking out his jeans."

"Yeah sure you were, and Jackson fills them out so very nicely." I reply smirking. That wasn't smart because David pushes me in the locker again, absolutely furious.

"You'd better watch your mouth Hummel, before I smash it in with the Fury!" he growls and raises his fist to show me.

I look at the huge fist then look at Dave. I gulp again and say "You won't hit me. You don't really want to hurt me – you want to kiss me. You keep looking at my lips."

Dave looks up, horrified as my astute observation hits him. "I don't – I" He moves his fist back as if he's really going to deck me.

I scrunch my eyes closed and wait for the painful blow. Instead of pain I feel hands cupping my face and Dave pulls me forward towards waiting lips. Our mouths crash together and I can't believe I am taken by surprise a second time. I have always remembered my first kiss from Dave as hard and scary. This time, the kiss seems passionate and exciting. Was it the same kiss and the difference is how I perceive it? In the end I decide that I don't care and I quickly press my lips against Dave's in a slow dance. Heat radiates from our engaged mouths down through my body and straight into my groin. I can't help but moan.

After several seconds David pulls away and glances at me unsure and vulnerable. Our eyes are locked together trying to read what the other is thinking. I try and keep my expression neutral , not wanting to alarm David in anyway. When David finally comes in for a second kiss I am ready and waiting. I ease my arms around David's neck to pull him close as we kiss. Dave tentatively licks my lips and I open my mouth to invite him in. The passion is ratcheted up tenfold when our tongues meet and mingle. Dave leans in with his whole body and presses me up against the lockers. I love the feeling of having David so alive and vibrant with big strong arms that evelope me.

I want to be even closer so I hook my leg around Dave's thigh and pull him in. I rotate my hips so our growing erections rub together. It was an instinctual thing to want to savour him but it was obviously too much, too soon because Dave suddenly yanks himself away and stares at me with a shocked and horrified expression. We stare at each other for a few seconds then Dave's face suddenly crumples, he half turns and bangs the locker angrily. He gives me one last pained look - the exact one he gave me the first time this happened, and takes off out of the locker room. I fall to the floor stunned, hurt and confused by the obvious rejection.

* * *

Whaaammm! I now realise that the term "teeth rattling" might not be just a figure of speech as I am thrown bone jarringly hard against the lockers. The breath has been knocked out of me and I fall to the floor in a crumpled heap. I am completely stunned by the impact but have just enough awareness of what happened to look up and see Dave staring at me as he walks backwards down the hall. He shoots me a warning look before turning around and walking away from me. This is exactly what happened the last time after the kiss. My encouraging and eager response did nothing to change our paths. I sadly realise that not only is time/the universe, an immense and organic thing, it also has a certain amount of inertia that is really difficult to change. I feel lost and alone and am not sure what to do next. I decide I need some advice.

* * *

"Thanks for meeting me here Blaine" I say as we both slide into a booth at the Lima Bean. "I had an altercation with my bully and something happened that I would like some advice on."

"Sure thing! I would like to support you in any way." Blaine pauses and sips his coffee; his head jerks up worriedly. "That homophobic jerk didn't hurt you did he?"

"His name is David and it turns out he's gay."

"How do you know he's gay?"

"During one of our altercations he kissed me passionately - twice."

"Yep. That sounds pretty gay." Blaine agrees.

"The problem is that the bullying hasn't stopped. In fact it has increased; he's pushing me into lockers harder and more frequently." I reply sadly.

"Maybe I should come to your school so that we can confront him together, like a united front," suggests Blaine.

"Yeah like that worked so well the last time," I grumble under my breath thinking about the time when Blaine and I confronted Dave in the stairwell.

"I beg your pardon?" Blaine asks puzzled.

I quickly try and cover my slip. "I'm sorry, me and a friend of mine confronted another boy once before and it didn't end well. It just made the boy feel ganged up on. I want to help Dave, not scare him."

"You still want to help this jerk?" Blaine quizzes me looking surprised.

"Of course! David is obviously struggling and not accepting his sexuality. He must be in a terrible place to torment me like he does. I'm sure it's a cry for help. Only I am stumped as to how to help him and remain unharmed at the same time."

"Tell me how you guys ended up kissing in the first place. It might give me an idea how he's thinking," Blaine suggests.

I suddenly feel uncomfortable and shy at the idea of discussing the kiss with my ex-boyfriend even though Blaine is just an acquaintance at this point. I guess I still feel bad about our turbulent breakup and for shutting him out of my life. Blaine had been a model boyfriend and didn't deserve the detached treatment I gave even though I was in such a dark place.

Right now, looking into Blaine's warm eyes and smile, I feel a sudden strong surge of affection for him. Though I don't want to go through the boyfriend route with him this time, I really appreciate what a kind and generous person, and a true good friend Blaine was, or rather will be. I swallow my nervousness and start to tell Blaine the whole sequence of events that went down in the boys' locker room.

I finally finish my story, and comparing it (in my mind) to the previous time, I add, "I can understand the continued violence if I had pushed him away after the first kiss. You know, him feeling angry at being rejected and wanting to punish me. But I didn't reject him; I even kissed him back enthusiastically. So why is he still so mean and horrible?"

"Enthusiastically? So are you telling me you enjoyed his kisses?" Blaine asks amused.

"Well – yes – I suppose. He's very passionate." I admit. "and I might have got a little carried away."

"Do you like him?"

"No! I mean – I don't know. I'm sort of confused how I feel about him. The anger behind the violence is really scary. But I am absolutely positive that David doesn't really want to hurt me."

"You're probably right Kurt, he did kiss you rather than punch you in the face," Blaine muses. "If you are confused about how you feel and you are quite comfortable with your sexuality, imagine how churned up he must be inside. He's deep in the closet feeling vulnerable, trying to keep under the radar so no one finds out he is gay. He comes to realize that he's attracted to you so he bullies you to prevent people from guessing his real feelings for you. Then in the locker room, not only does he out himself by kissing you, he finds out that the object of his affection might actually return his feelings."

"I said I'm not sure what my feelings are towards David."

"He doesn't know that." Blaine continues, "all he knows is that you now know his dark secret and may out him to his friends by showing him affection publically."

"What by batting my eyes at him and swooning? I'm not stupid! I won't out him," I grumble.

"You think he's terrorizing you with the bullying? He's the one that's terrorized; scared from one second to the next that you'll kiss him again or he'll kiss you. He is most likely making your life a misery so you won't like him. If you don't like him and avoid him, then he feels his horrible secret is safer."

"I can see your point." I concede, "but what do I do to support him and not get constantly body checked? My poor torso is one big bruise!"

Blaine ponders the question a moment and then answers carefully. "I believe you have the right idea to try and continue to talk to him and be his friend, but be patient, this might take a while. Whatever you do, don't romance him at all. He is definitely NOT ready for a boyfriend!"

"You're right!" I declare, impressed with Blaine's insight. "I'll have to do things on his time table. I just wish I didn't have to go through this next bit again."

"What bit again?" asks Blaine confused.

"I'm experiencing Déjà vu. I feel I've been through all this before." I reply deadpan.

* * *

The next few weeks are terrible and I feel like I am experiencing deja dread, reliving this period of my life. David and I were playing this bizarre game of cat and mouse and even though I'm trying different reactions, nothing is really changing.

Knowing the outcome of a certain situation doesn't necessarily mean I know what to do differently to make it better. I try to approach David when he seems mellow and relaxed and try to talk to him in a compassionate manner about his situation, but he immediately panics and yells at me to get lost or leave him alone and practically runs away from me. Yet he's constantly sneaking up on me to pancake me into lockers at every opportunity. I try to encourage myself by assuming that he must want some interaction with me or he'd leave me alone. And every interaction, no matter how painful means a chance of getting through to him.

It's an uphill battle, and I'm bone weary. Some of our encounters are the same ones that I remember from before and since I already know what's going to happen, I come prepared and sometimes the outcomes are quite amusing.

For instance when Dave winked at me in the cafeteria, I blew him a kiss. The comic look of shock on his face made me laugh out loud. Of course that was wiped out later when David confronted me at my locker.

"What the hell are you doing Hummel? What was that little show in the cafeteria before? Are you coming on to me?" David asks as he grinds me into the already bent metal locker. Seriously, there are Hummel divots in most of the lockers at McKinley.

"No!" I declare.

"Have you told anybody how you kissed me in the locker room?"

"You're the one who kissed me – twice!" I spluttered, amazed at the world of denial that David lives in.

"Well you kissed back as if you liked it."

"Well duh! I'm gay! And while we're at it, how about you admitting you enjoyed it as well and that you are also gay."

"I'm not! If you tell anyone I am - I'll kill you!" Dave threatened.

I hadn't forgotten how he threatened me before and how terrified I was. This time I wasn't scared but he was still very intimidating. "I don't believe you." I respond, trying remain calm and logical. "You could have hurt me in the locker room and you didn't. You're not going to kill me Dave." David just scowls at me and walks away.

At this time, I am also busily re-planning the wedding ceremony between my dad and Carol. In some ways it is a welcome distraction from the bullying and I feel I can improve the already perfect wedding celebration. For one thing I changed the florist. I wasn't happy with the bruised and wilty looking orchids in Carol's bouquet the first time.

When Finn comes up to my locker wanting to do something at the wedding to show he's a leader, I repeat my suggestion that he dance with Carol. I also suggest that we sing a duet together at the reception to show our new parents that we plan to work together to make the family work. He seems pleased with the idea and I suggest we do a mashup of 'You've Got A Friend' and 'Ain't No Mountain High Enough'. What he doesn't know is I suggested this so he doesn't feel compelled to sing 'Just The Way You Are' to me a second time.

I was so touched his song the first time and it was so special, that I don't want that memory ruined by the fact that I know about it this time. I want to make a new good memory owith Finn. After Finn leaves I mull over the idea of approaching Mercedes and asking her to quietly discourage him from singing it to me when David approaches me. Dave pokes me in the chest and runs his finger down my shirt. God, it was just as creepy as the first time he did it.

"Can I keep this?" Dave asks as he snatches the wedding topper from the top of my books.

"Sure, it might inspire you to be happy someday." I respond. David looks confused until he takes a closer look at the cake topper. Instead of the traditional bride and groom, the topper has two grooms standing together.

"No thanks!" David drops the topper to the floor like it's on fire and pushes past me, angrily shoving me into the locker again. I sigh, thoroughly fed up with the constant aggression. Of course that's when Mr. Schue who has watched the whole event, comes over and insists that I see Sue Sylvester the acting principal.

* * *

"Look, I can handle the bullying." I blurt out to before Sue can say anything. "Besides you can't expel David until he lays a finger on me." I further argue, remembering the first time we had this meeting.

"So let's just wait to see what happens." I get up from the chair in her office to leave, but then I turn around and address her. "You know, calling me 'Lady' is bullying as well. If you have to give me a nickname, I want to be called Porcelain." I then leave the room with a smirk because I know I have left a stunned Sue Sylvester speechless behind me.

Another time I had gotten so wrapped up in the dancing lessons with Finn and Dad that I had forgotten the whole limp wrist episode until just before it happens. We were in the choir room and I was dancing with Finn while Dad watched us when I suddenly freeze remembering what was about to happen. I glance up at the door and sure enough Dave is walking by, flopping his hand about very daintily. Of course Dad catches sight of him and asks who that boy is.

"That's David Karofsky, he's been bullying Kurt," Finn blurts out helpfully.

I scowl at Finn and start talking a mile a minute to calm my dad down. "Dad don't worry, it's something of nothing. I can handle it no problem."

"No you can't." Finn says, NOW suddenly caring when he didn't do a damned thing before. "The Glee girls asked the guys to confront Karofsky because they were worried that the bullying was getting out of hand and affecting Kurt negatively. It got kinda violent in the locker room."

"Finn, shut up! Why are you suddenly standing up and becoming involved now?" I ask glaring at Finn. I turn to my Dad and start running off at the mouth. "Look Dad, it's not a big deal. So he pushes me into lockers and threatens to kill me – it's not like he really means it." I stop when I realise the huge slip I've made. "Dad wait!" I shout but he's already out the door and running down the hall after David.

Finn and I dash out behind him but he has already caught up to David and has him pressed up against the wall, threatening all manner of things if Dave ever touches his son again.

"Dad please! Don't hurt him! Think of your heart!" I yell with a sinking spirit. It seems that history is intent on repeating itself and I can't think of any way to change it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

I sit slumped in the chair dejectedly, a few seats down from a surly David in the principal's office as Sue Sylvester, Paul Karfosky and Dad discuss the bullying and decide our fate. If I'm asked something I try to down play the bullying, earning a few surprised looks from my Dad and David. I am at a complete loss as to what to do next. I know how this meeting will end. David will be expelled for three days and then come back and I will be shipped off to Dalton academy the very day he comes back. How can I save Dave if I'm cooling my heels in Dalton? I have to think of something to stop this from happening.

This time I watch Paul Karofsky's interaction with his son closely. It's obvious that he loves his son but is all too aware that there is something bothering Dave. I appreciate Paul's patience and courteousness much more this time around and wish David could place more faith in his Dad. I bet Paul will have no problem accepting David's gayness if he would only open up and trust him, just like I did with my Dad.

I look at my Dad as he goes on a rant about how I should be protected and that something must be done to make the school a safe place for me. I feel a wave of affection for my Dad and feel happy that I have so much support. Then it hits me like a ton of bricks. No wonder I have not changed the future so far. I've been going it alone without my Dad's help. Here I am criticizing David for not trusting his Dad and I'm doing the very same thing. I should have told my Dad about Dave from the very beginning. A bold plan starts to form in my head…

Now the adults are discussing David's imminent expulsion so I interject with my own idea. "I don't think David should be expelled."

All the heads in the room swivel over to stare at me incredulously. I continue, "It will only hurt David's future if he gets expelled and besides it's not like going to stick. He could be back at school in as little as three days if Mr. Karofsky decides to go to the school board and fight it. It's not like anybody witnessed the threat so it's just my word against David's."

Mr. Karofsky looks at me surprised and says, "I know how this affects you Kurt. But you're right I will fight it. David could have a very bright future if he gets back to concentrating on his studies. Expulsion will hurt his chances at getting in a good university."

"Then he should stop bullying my son!" My Dad answers angrily.

"I think I have thought of a way that both of us can stay in McKinley and be safe." I say carefully.

"What's your idea Porcelain?" Sue asks moving forward across her desk looking interested.

"I think David and I should spend more time together not less. We shouldn't be separated, but thrown together," I add quickly, "under supervision of course! Perhaps we could do homework together two or three times a week?" I look around at the puzzled faces and try to explain. "David needs to see that being gay – I mean me being gay isn't a bad or unusual thing. You know that old saying, 'You can't really understand another person's experience until you've walked a mile in their shoes.' "Well David should walk a mile in my shoes to see what it's like.

"I don't walk in pumps!" David snarks out.

"David, please!" Paul Karofsky immediately exclaims with disappointment, clearly embarrassed by his son.

"It's okay Mr. Karofsky. That was actually pretty funny." I say genuinely amused.

"Well Kurt, I think you might be on to something there." Says Mr. Karofsky eager for any idea other than the one they had been discussing. "Would you do your homework here at school together or at one of our homes?"

"I do not like this idea at all. It's too risky." Dad interjects loudly.

"I don't like it either! It's just stupid!" Dave adds.

"If you don't like it David then it sounds like just the right punishment for you." Mr. Karofsky points out.

"It sounds to me like David will be getting off far too lightly for bullying my son!" I can see my Dad is getting close to losing it. I have to quickly defuse him for this to work.

"Dad, can I talk to you for a moment, out in the hall?" I stand up and motion him to come with me. I then ask for everyone's patience for a moment while I speak with my Dad.

"What's got into you?" My Dad asks in a furious whisper before the door's hardly closed.

"Dad it's really quite simple. If I can make friends with David, then he'll stop bullying me."

"Why would you want to be friends with him?!" Dad then looks at me suspiciously. "You don't have a crush on him do you? Like you did with Finn? Why else would you want to be together with him several evenings a week?"

I roll my eyes. "Dad, it's most likely the other way around. I think Dave has a crush on me. That's why he's been bullying me. He's gay."

"You're telling me that big jock in there is gay."

"As blazes! A little while ago I confronted him in the locker room about his bullying. In the midst of our discussion he grabbed me and kissed me. Not once, but twice. That's the real reason he threatened to kill me. He's terrified that I will tell someone about the kiss and out him."

"This gives me even more reason not to trust that kid! And you want to spend more time with him? Do you feel something for him?"

I hesitate with this, not wanting to admit it to my Dad, but since I'm actually telling him the truth I might as well tell all of it. "I won't lie Dad. There is a spark between us. And if I'm honest I wouldn't be against going out with him sometime in the future. But that's WAY in the future, if ever. He is too much of a closet case right now. He can't even admit it to himself that he is gay. Dad, the real reason I want to help him is that I am worried that he will commit suicide one day. We hear on the news almost every day about some LGBT teen killing themselves. I don't – I can't let that happen to David. He needs a friend, he needs support."

"Kurt, you're only seventeen. Not everyone or everything is your responsibility. You might not be able to save him."

"Dad, everyone is my responsibility. You taught me that. But you're right, I can't save him by myself. That's where I've been going wrong; I've been trying to do this on my own. I need your help dad; your wise council and your unfailing support. We can help him together by creating a safe place where he can talk freely and ask questions out from under the influence of his jock friends.

"All this time I've tried to talk to him at school and it's impossible because we never know who might be listening in on our conversations. In the halls here at school, Dave can run away or throw me into lockers but he can't do that in a supervised environment. Please Dad, we'll make such a great team. Let's just try it and see if it will work. I know that once David gets to know you, he will trust you just like I do and maybe when he sees the strength in our relationship he might just open up to his father."

"You've always known how to butter me up to get your own way."

I give him a big smile. "Is it working? Can I try and befriend Dave?"

Dad smiled back, "Sure, why not! We'll get Dave walking in those pumps yet!"

* * *

I go to school the next week and happily sort through my books at my locker for my classes. Everything is going well for once. The wedding and celebration went off without a hitch. I think it ran more smoothly than the last time, but I won't say it was better because the whole ceremony is about celebrating Carol's and Dad's love and our joining as a family. It doesn't get better than that no matter how much you plan. Finn and I sang our duet with the Glee crowd backing us up and Finn still managed to dance with me while we sang. It was fun and sweet and I had a great time.

I look at my watch; around this time (the first time I went through this) Sue would have called me in her office to inform me that the school board would only issue a verbal warning and would not be expelling David. This time I'm not going to Dalton but staying here at McKinley, and David is coming over to my place to do homework with me. The only thing I do regret is that Carol and Dad are still not going on their honeymoon. They sticking around to support me and supervise our study times.

Last week when my Dad and I finally went back into the meeting with Sue, Mr. Karofsky and David, things moved quickly. My Dad agreed to the plan of David and I doing homework three nights a week for a short period to see if it works out, but only if we were supervised at our house and Mr. Karofsky was fine with that. Sue, Mr. Karofsky, and my Dad agreed on a six week period for David and me to resolve our differences. We would meet at my house and do homework from six pm until 8pm Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. If we can't work out something by then, we would all meet again to decide what to do next. If Dave continued any sort of violence, name calling or intimidation within those six weeks, it would mean immediate suspension. Mr. Karofsky was very happy about the whole arrangement and eagerly agreed to it, Sue was not sure but was willing to give it a shot and David just scowled through the whole discussion and groused "yeah like I gotta say in this," when asked how he felt about it. His Dad and Sue took that response as an agreement and plan was given the go ahead.

I am suddenly shaken out of my happy reverie of the meeting when I find myself pushed against my locker again, not as hard as usual but it still stuns me. A hand grabs my shoulder and spins me around. Dave is crowding me again and scowling at me. I frantically look around to see if anybody is watching and I notice Azimio across the hall obviously on lookout for any teachers.

"Okay Hummel, what the hell do you think you're doing?" David demands in a harsh whisper. My eyes jerk back to him.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I hiss back, "The very first day of our deal and you're pushing me in the lockers again? What about all that stuff you agreed to? No violence, no name calling and no intimidation! Do you want to be expelled?"

"Why do you want me at your house three days a week? Are you so desperate for a boyfriend that you want to try and convert me?"

"Convert you? You came out of the womb this way baby!" I can't help but respond cheekily but quietly, I don't want Azimio to overhear. I get rewarded by a big loud crash near my ear as David bangs the locker beside me with his fist.

"I'm not gay!" Dave whispers angrily.

"Okay maybe you're not," y_eah,_ _and I'm not interested in a Hugo Boss 90% off sale -_ I think to myself. "But face facts," I continue quietly, "you are least a little insecure about your orientation, otherwise you wouldn't be so angry and afraid all the time. I just want to make a safe place where you can be yourself and ask any kind of question you want without fear of someone overhearing or making judgments."

"What about your Dad?"

"He knows about you and what happened in the locker room." I say carefully.

"You told him!?" David goes white and starts to panic.

"I had to tell him. That's why we went into the hallway during the meeting. He wouldn't have agreed to this any other way. David, he has agreed to support you any way he can. He won't tell anyone. You can trust him and he won't let you down. He's been an amazing father and continually gives me great advice."

"Did you tell Finn?"

"Of course not! You're safe David. With your Dad and Sue agreeing to this punishment, you have an excuse now not to pick on me. We can get to know each other gradually, and maybe become friends. You can talk to me or my dad, about things that are bothering you without you having to worry about your friends giving you grief. After the six weeks you can tell them that you don't want to pick on me because you never want to face that kind of punishment again, or some such excuse, I don't care. Honestly, I just want the hostility to end between us."

Dave had calmed down considerably. His scowl disappeared and he actually looked vulnerable and kind of hopeful. He even smiled slightly and said, "I can be myself? I guess I can give it a go."

Finally I got a glimpse of the real Dave, the one I had the pleasure to meet a few times before he died. I was elated! We were finally connecting and it made the past weeks reliving the bullying all worthwhile. I wanted to smile and hug Dave and tell him how pleased I was, but I forced myself to keep a fearful look on my face. My eyes slid over Dave's shoulder to Azimio who was staring back intensely, he was getting suspicious. I glanced back at Dave and he nodded slightly understanding.

I got pushed back into the lockers again this time rather gently. I heard a loud bang as I hit the locker; David must have banged the locker with his foot or hand to make the push seem a lot harder than it was. He gripped my shoulders, leaned in toward me and the closeness of him sent a wave of heat through me that went straight down to my groin. Luckily I had a rather long jacket on or I'd have some explaining to do. I flushed red thinking he was going to - wanting him to kiss me again.

"Alight Hummel." Dave growled loudly enough for Azimio to hear. "We'll do things your way. But if you so much as look at me funny, you'll be drinking through a straw." _Not very original _I think, but passable for Azimio it seems, because he nods in agreement_. _"Is that clear?"

"Chrystal." I answer demurely.

The two jocks saunter off and I go back to my locker smiling and continue my day. So far so good.

A little while later my phone vibrates. I have a text message from Dave. I didn't even know he had my number.

_**Dave: So see you at 6?** _

_**Me: Sure thing. Looking forward to it, Dave:)**_

* * *

That evening Dave, Finn and I sit around the kitchen table doing our homework. At first I was angry when my Dad insists that Finn should be there as some kind of chaperone.

"Kurt I wasn't kidding when I told you I wanted your meetings supervised, at least for the first little while to see how David behaves." My dad said when I argued with him earlier.

"I thought you would be doing the supervising. I can't talk to David with Finn around. He won't want to open up about being gay if there's an audience. I've only got six weeks to help him!"

"Kurt I know you. You'll try pushing him to admit he's gay on the first night then bludgeon him over the head with your efforts to help him cope with it. You'll only scare him more."

"I'm not – " I start to protest then stop, realising that that was exactly what I was planning on doing.

Dad continued, "Kurt, he's not going to open up to you period, until he trusts you and relaxes around you. You two should become friends first before you start talking about his sexuality. He knows Finn, they've played football together so Dave should feel pretty comfortable with him. He certainly won't feel safe if I'm hanging around, but I will feel better knowing that Finn will protect you if Karofsky tries anything."

Now that we are actually together doing homework, I can see that my Dad is right. When Dave arrived it was obvious that he was as nervous as hell. When we sat down in the kitchen together; he was very quiet and pensive. He half sat in his chair as if he would leap out of it and run for the hills at any second. When Finn started asking us questions to help him with his homework, I rolled my eyes and was abrupt with him like I normally am when we do homework together. Dave though, was really patient and discussed the questions with him so that Finn came up with the answers himself. I admit I was quite impressed with his intelligence and gentleness around Finn. He didn't talk down to him no matter how stupid I thought some of Finn's questions were.

Gradually the homework gets done and they start into an easy conversation about school, teachers and football. I actually sit back for a change and just listen and watch David interact with Finn instead of adding my own take on things. It's a great way to study Dave and get to know him. It's funny, when I think of it, he's been constantly on my mind for months - mourning his death, feeling guilty I didn't help him, going back in time to save him - yet I know virtually nothing about him. One thing that surprises me is how he funny he is and what great stories he has to tell. He has both of us giggling and snorting about some of the antics he and Az have got up to.

Finn asks David if he wants to watch "the game" and of course Dave's face just lights up. I have learned from bitter experience that you should never declare your ignorance by asking what sport or teams they are referring to, because you'll be stared at incredulously and dismissed as an idiot. Apparently, knowing what game it is without having to ask is something that guys are supposed to know instinctively. I have to smile when both boys turn to me looking for permission to leave the table and watch TV.

"Go ahead!" I say and then smirk as Finn's head whips around and gives me a 'are you coming too?' look when I follow them into the living room. Luckily he doesn't actually say anything to embarrass me in front of David as we sit down on the couch. The game starts and as usual, I have no idea what's going on. I start to ask questions that I have probably asked a dozen times before when watching games with Dad and Finn (the answers just go in one ear and out the other) but this time with Dave explaining plays and strategies I start to finally understand.

"Dave is just like wiki. You can ask him anything about rules, statistics and players in football and hockey and he knows it." Finn says patting Dave on the back. Dave just flushes a cute deep red. When Dave finally leaves I am pleased as anything about how the evening turned out. I can't wait until Wednesday when he'll be back.

At school the next day, David doesn't shove me into lockers anymore as per the agreement but he doesn't acknowledge me in the halls either, especially when he's with his friends. I admit to myself that it kind of hurts a bit.

When we meet again on Wednesday it pretty much goes the same way. Finn, Dave and I sit in the kitchen doing homework - only this time, my Dad pops in and out occasionally letting his presence be known. He's really careful with David, talking gently and moving slowly like he's coaxing a small woodland creature out into the open with food. Carol takes a completely different approach; she has already forgiven Dave and has decided he's a nice boy. I suspect Dad has told her about Dave's situation and she is definitely ready to support him. She hugged him as soon as he arrived and has plied all of us with cookies and milk. I think Dave is bowled over with all of the attention and blushes at the drop of a hat. It's all terribly endearing and I wish again that we can be alone. I force myself to slow down and work at his pace. I have to constantly remind myself that he has to be the one to open the conversation about being gay. Soon our homework is done and Dad suggests we play a game of scrabble. Finn immediately bows out because he knows he'll get creamed. Dad is pretty good, but usually it's Carol and I who square off with each other. Tonight, though it's obvious that Dave is the one to beat because he is one amazing player. I have no luck against him since I can pull nothing but vowels but I'm already planning my revenge and I tell him so.

"Bring it on Hummel!" he chuckles.

"Alright you and me right now!" I say as I place all the pieces in the bag and shake them up.

"Not tonight you two. Dave has to go home. It's already nine o'clock and hour past Dave's time and it is a school night."

"Aww Dad!" I whine.

"Your Dad's right, I'd better go." Dave says standing up.

"Coward! You know I'll win!"

"We've got six weeks. There are plenty of chances for you to beat me."

I look coy and reply, "aren't you getting a little ahead of yourself?" David gasps and turns maroon.

"I'd better go." He says practically running out of the room.

"Kurt! Would you quit scaring the life out of that poor boy?" My dad says glaring at me.

"It didn't sound that rude in my head!" I respond, meaning it.

I didn't see David at all at school the next day. I'm sure he's avoiding me, but he still shows up that night at six to do homework. Finn had begged off earlier to hang out with Puck, and it was my dad's late night at the garage. Carol was in the house but left us to ourselves . We sit in the kitchen as usual but since Finn is not around, the conversation is stiff or not happening at all. After a while, I notice every few minutes Dave keeps checking the clock on the wall.

"Look David, if you really can't stand to be in the same room as me, you might as well go home." I state irritably.

"It's not that," Dave says not looking at me.

"What is it then?"  
"Knowing you, you'll think it's stupid."

"Try me."

Dave looks at me and smirks a bit. A brief 'I'd love to try you' look flashes across his face but he doesn't say it. Did I really see it? Whatever it is, it gives me goose bumps. He shrugs and gives me a self-conscious smile. "I like watching movies on the sci fi channel on Thursday nights. It's my guilty pleasure."

I wasn't expecting that answer. "What kind of movies?" I ask thinking the worst like two six-armed gay green Martians humping.

"They're bad movies. I mean really bad. Like Plan Nine from Outer Space bad. So bad they're hilarious."

"You can't PVR them?"

"It's not the same. If I don't watch them Thursday nights and just tape them, I find it hard to fit them in during the week and I usually end up not watching them at all. It's just this thing I've started doing and I enjoy it. I even watch the commercials; they're even dumber than the movies sometimes." Dave has the good grace to look embarrassed.

"What time does the movie start?" I ask.

"It starts at 8:00. I was working up the courage to ask you if I could leave early to watch it."

"I'd like to see them myself. Why don't you stay and watch the movie with me. I could make popcorn." I suggest.

"Really? You want to watch it with me?" He actually looks pleased.

"Sure, I'll have to ask Carol though, and if you stay, you had better phone your parents."

Carol is okay about Dave staying and he phones his parents while I tidy up the kitchen of our books.

After making a big bowl of popcorn, we end up on the coach in front of the TV. It turned out to be a great night. The movie was a low budget, end of the world in 2012 movie. The actors were wonderfully dreadful the lines were ridiculous and the special effects were hilariously shoddy. Dave and I yelled at the TV whenever something incredulous happened, we repeat the actor's lines that we thought were unintentionally funny and scoffed at obvious editing errors. We had just as much fun ridiculing the commercials. I hadn't laughed so much in a long time and Dave was clearly enjoying himself. When the movie was finally over Dave seemed reluctant to go home.

He stood at our door slowly gathering his stuff and taking his time and I could tell he was loath to leave.

"I really enjoyed this evening Kurt. Thanks for watching the movie with me. It's so much more fun to see it with someone else."

"Hasn't Az watched these Thursday night movies with you?" I ask surprised.

"Nah! He doesn't let anything take him away from precious gaming time."

"Well maybe we can make it a regular thing. Every Thursday after homework we watch one of your movies." I suggest.

"That would be great Kurt! I'd love that." Dave responds

"Well goodnight Dave, see you tomorrow."

"Okay, Goodnight."

I watch him as he ambles down the walk and climbs into his car. He looks around one last time and gives me a wave before finally moving off.

The next day I am still smiling at the silly stuff we said about the movie and thinking what a change there was in David's attitude towards me in one short week. It therefore comes as a shock to me when I am shoved into the lockers from behind. It was a mild shove more of a sideswipe and didn't hurt at all but the surprise of it shocks me and I glance up to see who the culprit is.

Dave smiles down at me mischievously and says, "Hey Hummel for a little guy you take up a lot of room in the halls." He pretends to try to get past me and nudges me in the ribs,"Move your skinny little ass over, I'm trying to get by."

I just glare at him and use the line from the movie we saw the previous night that the long suffering wife shouted at her stupid husband every time he got them in trouble, "Really Bill!?"

He just laughs and carries on walking.

* * *

Dave and I settled into a rhythm during the next four weeks. He'd come over Monday's and Wednesday's to do homework together at the kitchen table. Sometimes Finn would join us and sometimes not, either way conversation between us was easy going and casual. We would and we'd all watch a game if it was on and I found myself learning a lot about football. Most Wednesdays we would play a game of scrabble if we finished early and I managed to win as many games as I lost. On Thursday nights Dave and I would watch whatever bad low budget movie the Sci Fi channel presented us with. My dad's supervision of us relaxed as he began to trust Dave. They got along very well and Dave was treated much like a family member. He started arriving earlier to join us for dinner and often stayed well past 8:00pm.

At school Dave still ignored me if we met by chance in the halls when he was with his jock friends, but I didn't mind because at least once a day, he'd try and catch me on my own. He would sneak up behind me and press me into lockers, grumbling about how much room I took up or how small the halls were. "Jeez get a move on, Hummel I'm late for class," he'd say as he elbowed his way past me.

I gave back as good as I got. If I saw him first I would elbow past him and push him into the lockers in the same way. "Hells bells karofsky! Quit taking up the whole hallway! Move your Neanderthal ass!" I found out to my delight that he was very ticklish on his sides. If you poked him in the right spot from behind, he'd jump a mile. "Did you just squeal? What are you, a little six year old girl?" I crowed when I first discovered this weakness.

"Fuck you Hummel, I might have squealed but I did in a very manly way!"

Other times he'd pull my turtleneck on my sweater up over my head or tip my hat down over my eyes. Whenever he did that, I'd pretend I was blind and say something stupid like, "Hey who turned out the lights?" as I repeatedly walk and bump into him. The two of us usually ended up giggling like two little kids. It was like he used his bullying tactics and applied them in a different fun way, making them gentle, playful and almost flirty. Before, I used to fear his attacks from behind but now he always left me smiling or laughing at his antics. I really liked the horseplay we did and appreciated that he treated me like a regular guy. Many times over the years at school I saw guys rough housing with each other good naturedly and often wished I could experience that kind of comradery. Now I actually had that kind of friendship with Dave.

The only fly in the ointment was the fact that we still hadn't discussed his sexual preference yet. He would close down if I made any reference to it. I had a week left and time was running out. On the Wednesday of the fifth week I was at my locker getting books and mulling over some strategies to get him talking when I got the shock of my life. I was rammed from behind into the lockers hard enough to make me dizzy. "Jeez! Dave! That hurt!" I shouted and whirled around to face him angrily.  
"It was meant to, Hummel." Azimio stated. I looked around quickly and saw that I was hemmed in by burly angry looking football players. Dave was not one of them. This wasn't looking good.

"What do you want?" I blurt out, trying to press myself into the lockers and away from them.

"We just want to have a little chat with you."

"I don't chat with Neanderthals. Why don't you and your knuckle dragging cronies go off and pick nits off each other and leave me alone." I splutter angrily, glaring at each one.

Azimio grabs my jacket and yanks me towards him. "Listen here you little fag I - "

"Hey! What the fuck's going on here!?" I sag with relief as I see Dave come bursting through the group of jocks and head straight for Azimio.

"Just talking to your boyfriend, Karofsky. There's no crime in that." He sounds belligerent but he lets me go.

Dave just ignores the boyfriend jab and asks me worriedly, "Are you okay Kurt?"

When I nod an affirmative he turns to Azimo and says, "You guys have promised me you would leave Hummel alone. I've told you that if there are any reprisals from you guys, I'll be the one that gets expelled. It was part of the deal my Dad agreed to."

It wasn't part of the deal, because it hadn't even occurred to me that Dave's friends might want revenge for Dave being 'punished' by having to do homework with me three nights a week. I was glad Dave was on the ball and came up with this excuse. I jump in quickly, "That's right Karofsky, tell your goons to back off or I'll complain to Sylvester and she'll get rid of your sorry ass."

"See? What did I tell you guys? Leave him alone or I'll get in shit!" Dave says looking frantically at his friends.

"Like hell you will." Azimio says.

"What do you mean?" Dave asks.

"You treat me like some kind of fool! You didn't come roaring over here because you're afraid you'll be expelled. You came over here because you're afraid we'll hurt your little fairy princess friend!"

Dave raised his hands, "Okay I admit it. Kurt and I are becoming friends. He's helped me pull up my grade average and he's funny. I don't see what the big deal is."

"You're encouraging a fag! Sooner or later he's going to try something!" Azimio shouts.

"C'mon Az, he's not going to try anything. You're worried over nothing."

"Oh yeah? I saw you two this morning. I saw how flirty he was with you; stickin' his ass in your pelvis and eating that candy bar like he was sucking cock. You were laughing and you slapped his ass! You're getting too comfortable with him Dave. Before you would have kicked his ass rather than slapped it."

Dave sighs and rakes his fingers through his hair. "Did you see the whole thing or just that part?"

"I saw enough to almost make me puke!"

"I mean did you see the cheerleader, ah whatshername?" Dave was visibly racking his brain trying to come up with a name.

"Cheryl!" I quickly supply.

"Yeah Cheryl! I was going to get a snack from the machine and she came up with some change and so I let her go first. She made a big show of looking at all the candy bars on the bottom row of the machine so I could get a good look at her ass. She then bought a bar and bent over again making sure her ass was still pointed in my direction to retrieve it when it came out. Not satisfied, she dropped it, backed up and bent over to pick it up but this time she pushed her ass right into my dick. To make sure I got the message, she faced me, unwrapped her candy bar and ate it suggestively in front of me. She then smiled and waved and slinked off rolling her hips. I didn't take the bait, she's a bit to slutty for me, I'm afraid of catchin' something off her. Once she was gone I started looking through my pockets for change when Kurt quickly cuts in front me and looks for a candy bar. What you saw was him mimicking Cheryl. He was just goofing around to be funny, and I thought he was fucking hysterical. It was just a joke." Dave emphatically explains.

I have to admit I was pretty funny. I saw what happened between Cheryl and Dave from start to finish. I watched Dave as he weathered the whole thing with a sort of bemused look and she looked pretty disappointed when he didn't take up her rather explicit offer. As he moved towards the machine himself, I leapt in front of him almost knocking him aside and bent way over, almost touching my toes looking at the row of candy like I was extremely short-sighted waving my ass in the air. I then started sounding out the names of the candy out loud in a dumb blonde voice as if I was having difficulty reading them. I finally made my choice and put the coins in and bent down again exaggeratedly as the candy fell into the bottom trough of the machine, one hand going the candy and the other caressing my own butt.

After I retrieved it, I backed up into Dave and dropped the candy on the floor then I quickly swooped down to pick it up almost knocking Dave over with my ass. Dave was laughing and giggling at my antics so I did it again and again. I kept backing up, dropping the bar and hitting him in the gut with my ass as I picked it up. He kept giggling and trying to get away from me, but where ever he moved I would go with him, drop the candy and pick it up again trying to hit him with my ass. It must have looked like a bizarre dance. Finally Dave slapped my ass hard and I squealed and whipped around to face him.

He had a big smile and he was still chuckling so I undid the candy bar slowly and went to eat the bar suggestively, only I pretended I couldn`t find my mouth. I opened my mouth wide but the candy bar kept missing, hitting my cheek and my nose. I kept my eyes on Dave and reached out with my tongue pretending to search for the bar which kept moving. I ended up getting chocolate all over my hands and face before finally shoving the whole thing in my mouth and sucking on it hard while looking crossed eyed. I started chewing with my cheeks almost bursting. It was hard keeping that much candy in my mouth and bits of it kept falling out of my mouth. To top it off, I smiled showing my teeth that was still caked with chocolate. David was almost peeing himself laughing by the time I was finished...

"That was no joke. He was coming on to you. What other 'jokes' has he tried on you?" Azimio asks.

"Alright I'll give you a list of things that have happened to me in the last five weeks. My ass has been slapped several times, I have had my junk fondled and squeezed, I've had my nipples pinched and my chest hair pulled." Dave rattles off his whole list and I can feel all the blood drain from my face. It was all lies! I hadn't done any of that stuff! I was about to protest my innocence when Azimio cuts in, "Hummel has done all that shit to you?!"

"No! He hasn't laid a finger on me. It was you Az, and the other jocks that did all of that stuff to me, out on the field and in the locker room."

"God! That is so gay! Where do I sign up?" I joke but the guys crowding around me, just scowl at me.

Az ignores me and continues talking to Dave. "That's completely different! We're all straight. I'm not going around encouraging fags by slapping their ass like you do."

"That's what you think! You have already slapped a gay ass several times and you don't even know it!" I retort, laughing at his ignorance. I immediately wish I could bite my own tongue off when I see Dave's shocked expression. I wasn't even thinking of Dave when I said it, but it was obvious he thought I was referring to him when I spoke of gay ass. I splutter and rush to explain myself. "I mean if you look at the statistics, one or two players on the football team has to be gay. You just don't realise it because they're not out yet. Just think about that when you're hugging and slapping each other after you score a goal." I finish lamely.

I look at Dave hoping I saved the situation, but I can see something hardening behind Dave's eyes. He's disappointed and angry with me for even slightly implying that he might be gay.

"You're right Az," he says glaring at me, "I shouldn't be encouraging him."

"What the hell does that mean?" I squeak.

"I say we call it quits, Hummel. No more going to your place after school. I'm not your friend." Dave states flatly.

"What about our deal? Your Dad -"

"The purpose of this whole thing was to stop me from bullying you. Well fine. I won't bully you anymore and I'll make sure none of the jocks will pick on you either for the rest of the school year. We both say it's been a success and there's no need for us to get together anymore."

"Fine," I say coolly though my emotions are in turmoil. "Our six weeks are almost over anyways. I'll let Sylvester know we're done. You can go back to spending all your time with Azimio, he misses you."

I turn to the big burly dark skinned teen and sneer, "You don't have to be jealous any more, you've got your boyfriend back Azimio." I couldn't help but add that last bit, spitefully referring to what he said about me earlier. I spin on my heel and force my way through the wall of jocks. I had to leave quickly before they see me start to tear up.

Things with me and Dave had been going so well until I go and mess it up with one stupid comment. All my plans to save Dave are now dust.


	5. Chapter 5

**Warning: **This chapter is pretty intense. It explains why David hates himself so much. There is no sexual abuse issues but the actual cause might be upsetting or unsettling. Read the Author's Note at the bottom of the page for more of an explanation if you are not sure whether to read this chapter or not.

**Chapter Five**

I miss David so much. I have come to know him so well and I love his company. Worse still is the fact that I seem to have lost any ground I gained during the last several weeks. If I chance to meet him in the hall, he either blanks me or scowls at me. There is no more goofing around on the sly. I try and approach him several times to make amends but he shrugs me off and keeps walking.

Wednesday and Thursday are long lonely days, topped by disappointing evenings. Dave doesn't drop by, and scrabble is too painful to play now that he's not there. I try and watch a stupid scifi movie by myself on Thursday knowing that Dave will be watching it at the same time across town. I turn off the movie twenty minutes in because I am too depressed to pay attention.

My dad keeps telling me not to worry. He figures that Dave will come to terms with his sexual preference on his own time. He points out that Dave and I have built a strong connection and that this little tiff will pass. But my dad doesn't know what I know. He does't know Dave's inner demons. I don't know them either but I do know the tragic outcome.

I am concerned about the upcoming months. I no longer know what will happen or how to reach him. I have changed the past so significantly that I no longer know what will happen in this future. I'm still at McKinley rather than at Dalton, there won't be any Bullywhips and since I've made a pack with the jocks, there's no need for me to be protected. Who knows if Dave will go to Scandals? The future is so completely different now.

The one thing I worry about is that although many of the events are different, Dave's underlying issue with being gay has not changed. Events may no longer arrange themselves in the previous pattern that had him commit suicide, but his character is still susceptible to killing himself. And now, I don't have any more idea than I had the first time what will drive him to suicide. I can only hope that he contacts me if things get too rough and this time I won't neglect his calls. Still it gives me little comfort knowing that he is a bomb wanting to go off at any time.

By Friday I am feeling pretty depressed and defeated. I spy David by his locker and I notice that he looks even worse than I feel. A small part of me is elated that he obviously misses me. I walk up to the locker to talk to him but he spots me and walks off. I am at a loss as to how to reach him.

In the evening at dinner I push the food that Carol has so lovingly prepared, around my plate wishing I had some sort of appetite. I excuse myself after it's obvious I can't keep up the pretense of eating and head to my new bedroom located up stairs.

Just as I enter the hall there is a knock at the door. I open the door and just gape at David standing there, nervously shuffling his feet.

"Can we talk?" he whispers.

"Of course! Come upstairs!"

When we get to my bedroom I can see that he is a bundle of nerves. His face is pale and clammy and I fear he's gonna be sick.

"Can I get you anything?" I ask after an uncomfortable stretch of time.

"Naw. I'm okay." He replies looking all over my bedroom, pointedly not looking at me.

"I miss our time together." I state, hoping this will open him up.

"Yeah." He says and sits down at the edge of my bed, hunching over staring at his own feet.

I gingerly sit down beside him. More silence. I open my mouth a couple of times and snap it shut. I have no idea what to say. The silence lengthens and it is takes all my strength not to fill it with words.

David suddenly speaks, "When I was a kid, Richard was my absolute hero. I worshipped the guy. There was at least six years difference in our ages but it didn't matter, he always treated me with kindness and let me hang around with him.

"Even though he was only 12, you could see what a natural leader he was. I was such a little kid compared to him yet he let me go on all the adventures that he and his friends would think up. I'm sure a lot of the boys resented having a six year old tagging along but they never said anything because they respected Richard too much.

"This one time, when we were wondering along the top of the ravine, we saw something that looked very suspicious down the very steep hill. All you could see was a white sweater partially showing from behind a bush. Richard decided that it was a dead body and that our gang would become famous if we called the police and told them. Everyone was really excited and pumped. Richard said he would scale down the steep hill and check out the sweater to make sure there was a dead body attached to it."

"It sounds vaguely like Stand By Me." I interrupt.

"Yeah, it was sort of, but is a true story and way better than the movie, at least to me." Dave chuckles looking at me smiling. His eyes were bright and lively looking. I realize again how much I have missed him. I smile back at him, looking forward to the story Dave is about to tell.

"Anyways, Matt this other boy who was six months older than Richard, pipes up and says. 'How come you get to go down there? Maybe I want to go down there and check it out, that way I get to be the hero when the cops come.' Well they argue for a bit and then someone suggests a flip of a coin. Both boys agree and Richard chooses heads. Well the coin turns up tails so Matt gets to go down first. You can tell Richard is furious and Matt doesn't help matters 'cause he starts swaggering around his chest puffed out with his own importance, ordering the other kids to stand back away from the edge telling them not to get too close because it's not safe." Dave's hands gesture to excentuate points as he continues the story. My eyes can't decide whether to follow his expressive hands or his animated face.

"Matt makes his way down the side of the hill which is really a kind of slopping cliff. Richard had the presence of mind to tell him to start down the hill quite a bit away from the corpse so that his foot falls wouldn't disturb the evidence. Everybody nodded sagely at the excellent advice and you could tell that Matt was fuming, wishing he had thought of it first. It takes him a long time to find footing and make his way down. It was an extremely slow process and all the rest of us could do was stand around and wait until he got to the body. Meanwhile, I realized I have to pee, but I didn't want to leave the side of the hill in case I miss something. Eventually, Matt finally makes it to the place where we could see the white sweater. He reached over and picked it up. It wasn't a white sweater at all, or even a dead body. It was a white plastic bag that got caught on a small seedling tree. We all groaned in disappointment. That was it. No cops needed to be called. No chance at being famous. Richard shouted down to Matt to tell him to climb up again. Matt nodded and started the long climb up. Meanwhile I really, really have to go pee. I have held onto it too long and really start to dance around holding my penis.

"Nobody noticed because they were too busy watching Matt's progress up the hill. 'Richard' I whine, I really have to pee.' 'Well then pee!' He says glancing at me than back over at Matt. 'Where should I go?' I ask. There were no toilets anywhere and I knew you were supposed to go in a toilet. "Just pull down your pants zipper, whip out your dick and pee!' He says exasperated. I look around and have no idea where to go. "But where?' I ask again even more whinny. ' I don't care! Pee anywhere! Pee on Matt!'

"So I do. I undo my zipper, pull out my dick and wiz right in Matt's face just as he comes up over the brow of the hill. Richard had that kind of effect on me. Whatever he said I would do automatically without even thinking. Richard and the guys burst out laughing, watching Matt sputter and spurt as my urine hit him square in the face. He charged over the hill and grabbed me and was probably going to kill me or at least severely beat me. Richard stopped laughing and was on him in a flash before he could get to me. The two of them started fighting and rolling around in dust, punching and kicking each other. There had always been tension between the two of them because Matt was always trying to take over the gang of boys. Nobody wanted him as leader but that didn't stop him challenging Richard whenever he could. Anyways, when the dust cleared, Richard had Matt face down in the dirt, twisting his arm. 'Say Uncle!' he yelled and eventually Matt gave in and said it. They got up and Matt stormed off and never hung around us again.

"I apologised to Richard all teary eyed and he patted me on the back and said it was a long time coming. He was glad to get rid of Matt. It became one of the gang's favourite stories and it was retold over and over about the day I peed in Matt's face. They ribbed me and joked about it a lot, but I didn't mind because I finally felt like one of the group. Man, I adored Richard for sticking up for me that day and I would do anything for him. I would gladly give my life for his.

"Was he your first crush?" I ask.

Dave looks at me surprised. "No! I loved him, but that was because he was my older brother."

"I didn't realise you had a brother."

"He was my brother and best friend. He was good at everything. He favoured my mother's side of the family. He was tall and lanky like Mom, whereas I take after the Karofsky side, you know, being kind of thick set and chunky. He was a natural athlete and could run down the field like a freakin' gazelle. I always have to work hard to be good at sports. And he was smart and good-looking. Everybody loved him – not just me." Dave stopped suddenly and glanced down at his shoes.

"Oh!" I hesitate. "Why do you refer to him in the past tense?" I have to ask, already fearing the answer.

Dave's face caves in for a moment. "We were in a car accident when I was ten and he died. If he had lived, he would have be celebrating his birthday today."

"I-I'm so sorry Dave." I stutter, not knowing what to say. All I can do is reach out and touch his hand. "Can you tell me what happened?"

Dave sighs and then launches into his story, speaking mechanically, like he has told this story hundreds of times.

"We were coming home in the evening after a day visiting my Mom's relatives in Fort Wayne, Indiana. We were almost home and Dad was stopped at the lights waiting for them to change. Suddenly we hear this roar of engines like a racing car. Dad told me later that in the time it took for him to look up in the rear view mirror, it was already too late. The speeding car plowed right into us.

"The cops said that there were no skid marks so the kid driving the speeding sports car didn't even try to brake. He probably froze at the wheel. The car hit us at close to 90 miles an hour. His low riding sports car crammed itself under our SUV and sent our car flying end over end into the intersection. We were fortunate that the lights had just turned green for us so there was no traffic crossing the intersection at the time.

The kid was decapitated and died pretty much instantly. Both my parents had severe whiplash and broken legs and arms. My Dad still suffers with back pains from that accident. Richard and I were in bucket seats in the back and when the car hit us, the impact sheared the bolts off holding our seats and we were jettisoned out the back, as our vehicle was shoved forward. I heard later, that our seatbelts were still in place even though our seats had been blown out. I landed about forty feet away from the car in a ditch still in my bucket seat that cradled me and saved me from any injury. The police said I was fortunate to be the exact size and weight to stay with the seat.

"My brother wasn't so lucky. As I said he was long and gangly. His seat went one way and he went the other. He landed on the road and tumbled along for quite a ways before he stopped. When the paramedics found him, there wasn't much they could do. He didn't have much of a face left to put a mask on to resuscitate him. They had to do tracheal intubation. He was pronounced dead on arrival to the hospital."

I just sat there stunned as he recounted the events. What could I possibly say after such a story. After a moment I stammered, "Oh my God! How Horrible!"

David just looked at me and continued. "If the accident didn't happen, Richard would be twenty-three today. He used to tell me that he wanted to work in films as a stuntman when he finished school. Today he would be finished university and probably looking for work in the movies. He was really handsome. I bet he would be back home visiting us with a beautiful celebrity or model on each arm. He would have done it too, if he'd lived."

"He sounds like he was an amazing person." I say haltingly. I feel lost not knowing the right thing to say.

" You wouldn't have liked each other. He didn't like gays. He told me so himself."

Dave looks at me daring to say anything bad about his brother. I bite down on my tongue, since it is not nice to speak ill of the dead, especially when you are sitting next to a big, burly, defensive teen who idlizes the dead person.

I finally say, "Oh. I'm sure we may have had some common ground. I mean we are both connected to you." Dave just grunts noncommittedly. Dave still looks very pensive and uptight and I feel that I'm standing on shifting sand. I know he wants something from me I don't know what. I decide to approach the problem from a different angle.

"So you said you landed in the car's bucket seat in the ditch unhurt? That is amazing!"

" Yeah, the first responders couldn't believe it. It was even the papers, ' behold the miraculous survival of a ten year old boy." David announces in a sarcastic dramatic way. "My mother told everyone that the only injury I had was a bruse the size of a nickel on my knee. I was too timid to admit that I had gotten that briuse earlier that day when I banged my leg on my aunt's coffee table. I didn't want my family thinking I got absolutely scot free while they all suffered."

"You did suffer Dave, you lost your brother and best friend." I respond gently.

"Not enough." Dave remarks darkly.

I don't how to reasure him. All I could think about was how sad I was when he had suicided. I grab his hand and speak imploringly. "Dave, I am so glad you lived through that terrible accident! Don't hate yourself for not dying! Your brother died a horrible death, don't wish that upon yourself!"

Dave yanked his hand away and stood up, towering over me. "Don't tell me what to do fag! You weren't there! You didn't see how my family was torn to shreds with grief!" Dave's face twisted and he laughed. "They said my survival was miraculous. My Mom says God saved me! What bullshit! It's not miraculous! It's a fucking tragedy that my brother died and I lived.

"My family could have had a talented, handsome, straight son; instead, they ended up with a fat loser son who's gay!" After spitting that out, Dave lets out an anguished choking sound and collaspses on the bed beside me. Grief just pours out of him and I start to cry just seeing his agony. I don't know what to do to help him; his self loathing and pain is overwhelming. All I can do is hold him and cry with him.

"What the hell is going on?"my dad asks, appearing at the open doorway.

I look to Dave and I see that he is in his own world of pain and won't notice if I leave him so I run to my dad and lead him out into the hall. I quickly tell him about the car accident and Dave's incredible guilt at being a surviving gay son. "Dad I have no idea what to do. I didn't know Dave's grief ran so deep. I'm at a loss as to what to do."

"This beyond our capabilities, Kurt. Dave might need hospitalization. We have to drive him home so his parents can take care of him." Dad responds.

I nod because it makes sense, if he needs medical intervention, then his parents would have to give their consent. We both move into the bedroom to try and talk to Dave. He lying on the bed lost in misery.

"David? David!" I find it hard to get his attention. "David! We want to drive you home. You have to tell your parents how you feel and why you feel that way."

"No! They can't know! I can't tell them I'm gay. They'll hate me! They'll know that the wrong son died." Dave managed to splutter out between sobs."

My dad got on the bed and hauled Dave up into a siiting position and held him. "Dave! I don't know how your mother will react but I think your dad already knows you're gay. I've had several discussions with him and we've talked about what's like to have a gay son."

This was news to me. "You have talked with Dave's dad and had discussions about us?" I ask.

"Of course! Paul is a very engaged father. He has phoned me after each of Dave's visits to see how he has been behaving. It turns out we have quite alot in common besides you two. We're becoming good friends."

"He knows Dave is gay?"

"I'm not sure Kurt, we talk about what it's like to have a gay son and he talks about it with some knowledge but I can't actually say that he has stated catagorically that he knows Dave is gay. I know without a doubt that he has no issues what so ever with gay people."

"It's easy to have no issues about gay people until you find out your son is one." Dave mumbled. He still sounded upset but he sits up straighter and is engaged in our discussion. It looks like he is recovering from his initial breakdown.

"David, I am positive your dad loves you and will go on loving you after you tell him you're gay. You have to tell him because you can't continue to live like this. Just remember you have devoted friends in your corner with me and Kurt. We will support you no matter what. You can come back here and stay if I'm wrong, but I am not wrong; everything will turn out alright, you'll see. Look, you get cleaned up, wipe your face and I'll warm up the car and we'll get you home." Dave just nodded. That's the one thing about my dad, when he takes the lead it's almost impossible not to follow. I beam with pride and appreciation. My father is not only great dad but he is a wonderful human being.

unfortunately, we run into Finn in the hallway as we go out to Dad's waiting car. "What happened to you dude? You look terrible!" Finn asks blocking our escape.

I look at Dave, his face is all blotchy and and his eyes are still red from crying but he looks a damn sight better than he did. I turn and glare at Finn wanting to protect my friend. "It's none of your business Finn! Get out of our way."

Finn looks at me suspiciously and turns to Dave. "Is this Kurt's doing? Look, I know he can say some really mean things sometimes but try not to take it personal. Just let the barbs roll off you when he gets like that."

"Finn! I wasn't mean to him. How dare you suggest such a thing!" I demand, affronted at the allegations.

"I'm gay!" Dave sort of splutters out. He looks surprised at himself and scared.

"Oh? Oooohh! It's okay bro." Finn says softly and pulls Dave into a hug. "Be strong! You can do this, no problem." Finn slaps him on the back kindly as he releases David and smiles reassuringly.

I just well up with pride at my idiot savant brother who has the uncanny knack to do or say the perfect thing when someone most needs it. "Finn? Do you mind keeping it to yourself until David is ready for every body to know?"

"Of course!" Finn says simply and I know without a doubt that I can rely on him.

"Let's go Dave," I say gently as I usher him out the front door.

The drive to Dave's house is mostly silent and tense with dad or Dave breaking the silence to discuss directions to Dave's house.

**A/N: **I have been in a serious car accident so I know how terrible survivor's guilt can be and how a sibling's death or serious injury can affect a person. Some people might not want to read such things, hence the warning at the top of the page. Incidentally, this was not a description of my car accident, but it was one that happened in our area. The good thing about it was that there was no older sibling who died in such a terrible manner. A young boy did miraculously escape injury when he and the bucket seat was expelled from the back of the van. They found him cradled safely in the seat in a ditch several feet from the crash.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

Finally, we're on his front porch, Dave is so shaky he can't fit the key into his door lock so I gently take the key and do it for him. I am so scared for him despite dad's reassurances that Mr. Karofsky knows about Dave's sexual orientation. I do respect my dad's opinions and it sounds like the two men have been talking a lot. But Dave is so fragile right now that I know that the slightest negative remark could trigger him to kill himself. I suddenly wish that I had tried to speak with Dave's dad after the funeral to find out what his thoughts were about his gay son. At the time I was too ashamed by my behavior towards Dave just before his suicide that I refused to talk to him even though my dad thought it might help me. I shake my head to rid myself of these morbid thoughts and turn the key. Here goes nothing...

We enter the front hall and Dave stands there frozen suddenly unable to move. All dad and I can do is stand beside him. Since it looks like Dave is rooted there on the spot my dad calls out, "Hello Paul? We have brought your son home, can we have a little talk?"

Paul comes out of the kitchen, wiping his hands on an apron it appears we caught him in the middle of doing dishes.

"Hi Burt, Kurt how are ya doing? David, I was worried about you, you suddenly took off and turned off your phone...David are you alright?!"

Dave looked very pale and clammy. "No! I' m not alright, I'm - I'm - Oh god I can't do it!" Dave whimpered. His face crumbled, he was breathing hard and was about to burst into tears again.

My dad grabbed his shoulder reassuringly and turned towards Paul. "Dave is trying to tell you he's gay."

Paul looked shocked, "Dave is gay?"

Now it was my dad's turn to look shocked. "You didn't know!?"

"I had no idea!"

Dave lets out an anguished moan and Paul quickly reaches out to him and pulls him into a hug. "Shhh! It's okay. Dave everything's going to be fine." he whispers in his son's ears as Dave weeps into his neck.

Dave just keeps saying over and over, "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

I feel compelled to say something since Dave's major issue of survivor guilt hasn't been addressed yet.

"Mr. Karofsky, David told me about the terrible car accident that hurt your family and killed his older brother. He wishes he was the one who died instead of his brother."

Paul immediately turns to David. "David! Oh God no! Don't ever think that! It was a real tragedy that your brother died and I grieved at the loss of my son for a long time, but I would have grieved just as hard if it had been you. Why would you think that you should have died instead?"

"If I had died then you would have had a straight son who could give you grand children instead of being left with a fat, stupid gay one!" Dave managed to gasp out between sobs.

"Oh David, if you had died in that accident instead of Richard, I still would have had a surviving gay son."

"What? What do you mean?" David gasped.

"Richard was gay."

"So when we discussed raising gay children you were referring to Richard." my dad pipes up, most likely relieved he wasn't going crazy.

"That's right. Please come into the living room and sit. I think we need to discuss this and get everything out in the open."

"My dad and I should go, so you two can discuss your personal things without us intruding."

"Kurt, I would like you and your father to stay. You both have been instrumental in helping Dave; knowing more can only help. You might even give us insight into this mess. You certainly saw David's pain when I was blind to it. Please come in and sit."

We all sit down and we all turn to watch Dave. He is obviously struggling with this new information about his brother. "Richard couldn't have been gay. He hated faggots. He told me himself."

"That doesn't make sense you must have misunderstood him, what did he say to you exactly? Paul asks looking puzzled.

"We were walking along the road together one day and I saw Rachael Berry on the other side of the road walking with her two fathers. I remarked to Richard that I thought she was lucky having two dads. I was thinking it would be more fun. At the time, I thought Moms were a pain 'cause they were always yelling at you to pick up your clothes or wash behind your ears. Anyways, Richard grabbed me and pulled me around to face him. He asked me point blank, 'Is that what you want? To walk hand in hand with some man and play happy families and be called a faggot?" I told him no way! But then I had to ask him what a faggot was. I already knew that being called fag ot faggot was an insult but I didn't know what it meant. Richard told me a fag is a boy who likes other boys instead of girls and wants to kiss them. At the time I didn't want to kiss either boys or girls but I knew that Mom had said kissing boys was a terrible sin. So I told him, that I was no fag. He said that was good because if I did was a fag, my life would be nothing but misery. 'Don't ever fall for a boy they'll break your heart.' he said. And we never discussed it again."

"When did this happen?" Paul asks.

"I Don't know, a couple of weeks before the accident."

"That explains it. Richard had just lost his boyfriend and he was very upset about it. He was referring to himself when he told you boys will break your heart. I imagine he was being ironic when he referred to Rachael's fathers as fagots. He was so despondent around that time he probably didn't consider how literal ten year old boys are."

"Richard had a boyfriend?!" Dave asks stunned.

"Remember Mike his best friend? He was also his boyfriend."

"Mike was nice. He moved away. I had no idea..."

"He was forced to move away. When his parents found out that Richard and Mike were more than just friends they sent him away. They packed up and left the neighbourhood shortly after."

"How did you find out Richard was gay?" my dad asks.

Paul smiled, "It was Dave here who found out, only he was too young to understand what he saw."

"Me?"

"One day you came down the stairs in tears and told me that you wanted to play with Rich and Mike. They were wrestling on the bed in Richard's room and when you came in and wanted to join them. You told me that they yelled at you and told you to fuck off. Well I was surprised because Rich was normally so good to you and I was angry that he would use such a bad word to curse you, so I marched up the stairs and into his room to yell at him for using that kind of language. When I walked I got the surprise of my life - they weren't wrestling.

I just turned around and left the room, came back down stairs and I told you that Richard was wrong to shout and swear at you. But that you shouldn't go in his room ever again when the door was shut. I told you to knock first and ask permission to come in. I explained that your brother was a big boy and needed his privacy."

"I assuming you had a talk with Richard." my Dad asks.

"Yes I did but what was there to say? You can't tell a sexually active teenager in love anything. They know it all, and their love is the greatest love of the century. All I could do was to plead with him to practise safe sex and be discreet, since he had a younger brother in the house. I warned him to not show any affection to Mike in front of his mother. You see my wife is very religious and believes homosexuality is a terrible sin. I wanted to protect him from her wrath.

"He and Mike managed to keep it secret for several months but one day Sylvia came home early and caught them on the couch cuddling. Your mother immediately accused Mike of sexually assaulting her son and for trying to lead him astray. She would not believe that Richard was a willing participant even though he insisted he was. She kicked Mike out of the house and phoned his parents and informed them that their son was a sexual pervert who molested her son. As you know Mike's parents attended the same church as your Mom." Paul said as an aside to Dave.

"I'm sure you remember that your brother and mother were always a little at odds with each other. Richard was constantly arguing with her about her religious conservative views and she was always criticizing him on his disrespectful attitude towards her. They loved each other but you couldn't get more polar opposite views in one house.

"When this issue came up they were at logger heads and were constantly fighting. She kept denying he was gay and he kept insisting he was. Richard wanted to come out so that he could date Mike out in the open. You can imagine how angry your Mom was with that idea. He tried to see Mike several times but Mike's parents wouldn't allow it.

" Finally Mike ended the relationship himself by phone. He told Richard that his parents beat him as soon as he arrived home after they were discovered. He said he was glad that he was punished because what they were doing was sinful and sick. Mike told Richard that his parents were sending him away on a program to cure homosexuality and that as soon as his parents sold their house they would be moving out of the state. Richard pleaded with him to come out of the closet and be with him but Mike was resolute, he didn't want to be gay and he did not want to see Richard again. Your brother was devastated.

"He still wanted to come out but your Mom was dead set against that. She was worried about gossip and her standing in her church. I was also against it for different reasons. I was worried that coming out so soon after losing his boyfriend and having to endure a toxic atmosphere at home would make him vulnerable to people's nasty opinions. I suggested he wait until things calm down. Of course our accident happened and he was tragically killed."

"Why am I only finding out about this now?" Dave asked. "When the fighting between Mom and Rich started, I was too young to understand. I knew something was seriously wrong because the yelling would stop as soon as I came into the room. At one point I had even thought I had done something bad and that I was going to be sent away because I only heard snippets of conversations about somebody bad was going away. I thought I was bad because I told Richard having two dads would be fun. I thought Mom had found out and was really mad at me. Richard was the one to tell me that I wasn't in trouble; that Mom didn't know about the two dads comment; that Mike was the one going away and that the arguing was between him and Mom and had nothing to do with me."

"I'm sorry David, we thought you were too young to understand, it never occurred to me or your Mom that not knowing what was going on was just as bad for you. Of course a ten year old would come up with strange scenarios to explain to himself what was going on. I'm so sorry for that." Paul said.

"Okay, but that doesn't explain why I'm only hearing about it now. I was holding on to a lot of guilt and grief that I didn't have to." David groused.

"All I can do is apologise David. I had no idea how much you were suffering or why you were suffering. The reason that I didn't tell you about your brother was I simply wanted to keep the peace. Your mother and I were very close to splitting up because of her bad reaction to Richard's sexuality. If we hadn't had the accident I think Richard and I would have moved out. But the accident did happen and we were all so cut up about Richard's death that your mother and I were able to set our differences aside. Agree to disagree as it were.

"Talk about Richard being gay was a mute point since he was no longer with us. As far as telling you about his sexuality... by the time you were old enough to understand the implications, I thought you were of the same mind as your mother's, that you were intolerant to gay people. You loved your brother so much and idolized him that I could not stand idea that you might think less of him simply because he was gay."

"When Kurt came up with the idea that the two of you should spend more time together so that you two would become friends or at least come to understand each other, I was all for it. I thought this was an excellent opportunity for you to gain some tolerance for people with a different sexual orientation to you. I was going to wait to see if your attitude changed towards gay people. If it was a positive reaction I was going to tell you about your brother. In fact I was going to try to get you alone and tell you this weekend - you just beat me to it."

I decide to cut in at this moment. "Mr. Karofsky, I'm rather concerned for Dave. It sounds like Mrs. Karofsky will react rather negatively to Dave's sexual orientation."

Paul sighs, "I would say that is a bit of an understatement. Burt can I speak to you for a moment in the hall?"

I glance over to Dave when they leave the room. He still looked pale and anxious and he had shrunk himself down in the chair as low as he could go but he had stopped crying. We didn't say anything to each other just patiently waited for my dad and Paul to come back.

"Now David," Paul says as soon as he sits down in his chair again, "Both Burt and I are very concerned about your well being. Do you think you will be able to cope with things? I can get you admitted to a hospital if you feel..." Paul trailed off not being able to finish the sentence, to verbalize what we were all fearing.

"No Dad, I don't need a hospital. I'm okay."

"That's good David. Now you have a couple of choices. You can stay here and come out to your mother with me supporting you as much as I can, or you can go home with Burt and Kurt for the weekend while I break the news to her; I've talked to Burt and he's agreed to put you up for a few days."

Dave was obviously torn and undecided, looking at all of us in turn trying to judge our reactions. He licked his lips and scratched head obviously deliberating. "I just don't know Dad, I'm so tired and confused, I can't think, what do you think I should do?"

"David I want to assure you that I love you. Your sexual orientation does not bother me one bit. I want you to understand that suggesting that you leave here is not because I'm ashamed of you in any way. I'm concerned that you have internalized so much guilt and self-hatred since the accident that you won't be able to withstand your mother's initial negative reaction. So if you feel the same way, then I think you should leave with Kurt and Burt and let me talk to your mother alone."

"I don't want to be a coward. I want to be brave like you." Dave looks at me like a drowning man would look at a person on the shore, silently pleading to throw him a rope.

It squeezes my heart to think Dave is living in such anguish and is so unsure of what to do. I move towards him and crouch down before him taking his hand, "Dave you are brave. The bravest boy I know. But you have been through so much; finally admitting you're gay; coming out to your dad; and discovering a whole new side of your brother you didn't know about. All this happened in a couple of hours. Take some time out and come to terms with all this stuff and regroup. Come home with Dad and me and let us take care of you. Dealing with your mom can wait until you feel strong again."

"Okay, I'll go with you." Dave says in a small voice and I give him a reassuring smile.

"You have made a very wise decision Dave. I'm very proud of you and how you're handling all this. Why don't you and Kurt go upstairs and grab some clean clothes for the weekend."

Dave nods dully and slowly rises out of the chair and trudges to stairs like he is an old man with me following. When we get up to his room I am amazed at how typical it looks for a teenaged boy, yet there were little touches here and there that made it look quite unique. I wish I had time to fully explore the room and ask Dave questions about some of his belongings just so I learn more about him. Unfortunately, we have to leave before Mrs. Karofsky gets back, and judging by how David is just standing in the middle of the room rooted to the spot, he is in no condition to be deciding what he needs for a weekend away.

"Where should I look for a bag David?" I ask hoping to prompt him to move.

"Huh?"

"We need a bag to put your clothes in."

"Oh, um, there should be one in the bottom of my closet."

Closet. I suddenly freeze at the word. It is probably the very closet Paul found him hanging...still may find him hanging? It hits me again how serious my mission to save Dave is. Looking at him now I can see how fragile the situation still is; how close he is to the edge. I shake my head of the morbid thoughts and move with purpose to the closet. I find the bag and start looking through his clothes hanging up in the closet. I was surprised to find some very nice shirts and pants. I pick out a fitted navy blue short sleeve shirt and start to imagine how sexy Dave would look in it. I put it back and chastise myself, Dave needs to dress comfortably so he feels relaxed, not for my benefit. I grab a pair of jeans that are well-worn. They have been recently laundered and are soft, as only old jeans can feel, and put them in the bag.

"David, I'm assuming you have some t-shirts and sweatpants somewhere?" He hadn't moved yet.

"Ugh yeah, in my dresser, bottom drawer."

I find them where he said and grab a couple of each. I then decide to take a chance and look in the top drawer. Sure enough, there are socks and underwear placed neatly side by side and I grab a bunch of them as well.

I realise toiletries will be a problem since there is no en suite and I don't feel like snooping in the bathroom down the hall. I figure that we have enough stuff at home such as new toothbrushes, razors and sample personal products that Dave could use well enough.

Just before we leave the bedroom, I go back in the closet and grab the navy shirt, a pair of very nicely tailored slate grey dress pants and some black leather shoes for the bag. Who knows Dad might take us out to dinner one night; it doesn't hurt to be prepared, I tell myself.

I herd Dave along with his bag downstairs and we're soon ready to leave. Dave's dad hugs his son and tells him again that he loves him very much. Dave looks like he wants to cry again, but manages to stay dry eyed. I suddenly find myself being hugged by Paul and he thanks me for being such a good friend. Now I feel like crying. Paul shakes my dad's hand and thanks him as well.

As we go to leave, Paul stops Dave one more time," David, don't feel like you have to answer the phone if your Mom calls, not until you're ready. I'll call you every day and see how you're doing and you can call me any time you like, okay?

"Yeah Dad." Dave mumbles and we acquit the house.

The drive home was even more and tense than the drive over to Dave's. And this time, there was not even directions needed to cut the silence.

When we finally walk into our familiar, warm home, Carol and Finn are waiting. Carol immediately flies to Dave and envelopes him in a big motherly hug. "Are you hungry sweetheart? Can I make you something to eat?" She asks earnestly as if home cooking is the miracle cure for all ailments.

"Thanks, but I don't feel like eating anything, Mrs. H." Dave mumbles.

"What about a nice mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows?"

Dave actually smiles slightly at this suggestion. "Okay Mrs. H. that sounds good."

Carol just beams. "Wonderful! Two hot chocolates coming up!" She immediately stared for the kitchen. I knew right away she was automatically making one for Finn, not making one for me because she knows better, bravely ignoring my dad's pained face because he isn't allowed one for health reasons and leaving herself out in solidarity with my dad.

"Let me have your bags David, I'll take them to my room. You're bunking with me. Mom will bring our hot chocolates downstairs." Finn says and grabs the bags and heads down the hall. He then turns back to Dave. "Are you coming?"

Dave nods, glances at Dad and me in a silent good night.

I turn to my dad angrily once he is gone. "I see you have already made the sleeping arrangements."

"Yes I did. While you were upstairs in Dave's room, I phoned Carol and explained things." Dad answers.

"You don't trust me to just sleep with him! Do you really think that I am clamouring to jump Dave after all he been through? Thanks for the vote of confidence!"

"No I don't think that. But I do think you are rather naïve if you think that nothing will happen if you two share a bed this weekend. Kurt he'll be looking for comfort and solace and he sees you as his lifeline. You are completely immersed in the drama and romance of this situation and you see yourself as a rescuer. Are you telling me that if he reached for you in the middle of the night you wouldn't respond?"

"Maybe I would. Why shouldn't we. I really care for Dave, in fact I'm pretty sure I'm falling in love with him. Would the whole world come crashing down because two boys loved each other?" I challenge.

"HIS world might come crashing down. Kurt, he has just come out. His mother's possible negative reaction is a big concern. We have no idea if he wants to come out to anyone else. He is so close to the edge, that adding anymore complications will just stoke up the pressure. If he bunks with Finn, then any temptation is removed. It will be easier on both of you. I know how much you both care for one another and once Dave gets through all this shit in his life I think both of you will have a very rewarding and loving relationship and I'll be the first in line to congratulate you both. I'm just saying, don't rush it."

I wanted to argue but I had to admit he was correct. I wouldn't refuse Dave if he wanted comfort, not just because of my strong feelings for him, but because refusing him might make him feel rejected. Starting a sexual relationship with him while he's still in the closet would be very hard for me and I may end up resenting and him. By having Dave sleep with Finn, my dad made any difficult decision I might have to make a mute point. Still, I found it difficult to swallow my resentment. "Fine!" I managed to spit out, "I'm going to bed."

I lie in bed wide awake, unable to get over the resentment that Dave was sleeping down stairs in the basement with Finn. When I thought about it logically everything my dad said made sense, but emotionally I was annoyed as hell. With all the stuff that went on today, I'm sure Dave is wide awake as well. I toy with the idea of creeping down to the basement to see how he is. It must have been absolute torture for Dave all these years to believe that the wrong son died and that he didn't deserve to live. No wonder he was such a bully to me.

Then he finally admits he is gay only to find out his dead brother was gay as well. Suddenly a cold dreadful realization creeps over me. Paul would have had this exact conversation with David in my old time line. He would have not only told Dave about his brother but he would have tried his best to protect Dave and make him feel loved...and it wasn't enough. I suddenly feel queasy, understanding that Dave is still in grave danger. I try and reassure myself that this time around, Dave also has me and my family in his corner as well as his dad. But is it enough? I will have to tread very carefully and I suddenly appreciate my dad's wisdom. It suddenly feels more daunting.

Can I really turn the universal time tide and save Dave?


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

Saturday starts out remarkably calm and normal. Carol makes pancakes for breakfast and both Finn and Dave plow through stacks of them, which makes Carol extremely happy. Dave looks much better, almost normal. I try and engage him in conversation but only get one or two word answers. Carol does much better at conversing with him.

He tells her that his dad called and that his mom is quite upset. He explains further that his dad got a call from his office late last night. His boss's wife went into premature labour and asked Dave's dad to attend some conference in his stead. Dave asks my dad if he can stay a few more days past the weekend so that he doesn't have to spend time alone at home with his mother and my dad agrees readily.

Once breakfast is over, both Dave and Finn excuse themselves to go down stairs for gaming. I'm a little disappointed because I was hoping to spend some time with Dave myself. I decide that Dave most likely needs some mindless downtime so I leave him be.

By the time the afternoon rolls around I become aware that for some reason, Dave is avoiding me. If I go downstairs when they are gaming Dave makes some excuse to leave and doesn't come back. If I find him in kitchen he excuses himself and moves back down to the basement. He talks normally to everyone yet I am still getting clipped one word answers. I catch Finn at one point going downstairs with a huge bowl of popcorn.

"Has Dave said anything to you as to why he's avoiding me?" I ask Finn.

"He's avoiding you? I hadn't noticed."

"Well he is."

"Well come down stairs with me, Dave and I are watching football highlights." Finn suggests.

I follow Finn downstairs and I am positive that Dave looks uncomfortable with me there. To test my theory, I plunk myself down between the two boys so I am sitting right beside Dave rubbing elbows. He sits there figeting for a brief while then pulls out his phone and explains he has a text from his dad and that he's going to answer it elsewhere.

I wait for him to come back but after ten minutes I figure he's escaped me once again. Not for long though, because I will find out why he's avoiding me. I climb back up the stairs to the kitchen and find Carol mulling over a cooking book.

"Have you seen Dave, Carol?" I ask without any preamble.

"Yes honey, he told me he's decided to go out for a walk before dinner."

"I think I'd like to join him, did you happen to see what direction he went?"

"No, but I did tell him about that lovey park we have down the road, he might have gone there."

"Thanks Carol,"

"Make sure you're both back for dinner honey. We'll be eating in an hour."

"Sure thing!"

Carol was right, I found him sitting on a bench in the park. I come up from behind, sit on the park bench beside him and lay my hand on his knee in order to stop him from leaping up and running away.

"You have been avoiding me and don't you dare try to deny it!"

His mouth was open to deny it but he quickly shut it. He looks around desperately for an escape.

"Look, all I want to know is what I did wrong then I promise, I'll leave you be."

Dave won't look at me, I'm afraid he'll just get up and leave without saying anything. Finally he speaks, "It's not what you did, it's what I did. I am so fucking embarrassed and ashamed that I don't even know how to begin to make it up to you."

I have no clue what he is talking about but I take a stab at it. "If you are talking about yesterday, you have no reason to be embarrassed. What you have been through would make anybody burst into tears. There is absolutely no reason to be ashamed."

"I'm not ashamed about that, I am a little embarrassed about crying in front of everyone but I'm not sorry." Dave lets out a big sigh, "I'm ashamed about how I constantly bullied you; ramming you into lockers and throwing slushies at you since freshman year. I'm ashamed that I ramped up my bullying after you discovered my secret and I am ashamed that I chickened out and stopped seeing you after school once Azimo confronted me about being your boyfriend! I am so so sorry!" Dave buries his face in his hands, not even able to look at me.

"It's okay Dave I -"

"It's not okay!" Dave rasps out and looks at me, his eyes welling up with unshed tears. "Let's face it. I was an evil jerk. You were terrified of me, yet when you when you discovered I was gay, you tried to help me. You tried to be my friend even though you had every reason to hate me. You have done nothing but support me and try and keep me safe through this whole mess. You - you're like some kind of living saint like Mother Terresa."

My skin flushes and I turn red with shame. I suppose this should flatter me but I actually feel deeply ashamed that I was not very helpful to Dave the first time around when he suicided. I appreciate even more that I've got this second chance and I resolve once more to do my best for Dave.

My discomfort must have shown because Dave was quick to apologise. "I'm sorry. I'm saying this all wrong. I don't mean any kind of insult by calling you Mother Terresa, I just can't think right now of a guy equivalent."

"Dave, you didn't insult me. I'm just not as good as you think I am. I'm no saint." I decide to tell him part of the truth to help him understand. I wasn't about to talk about time travel.

"I knew this other boy once who was gay and closeted. He reached out to me for help, but I ignored his pleas. I didn't like him that much, I had other worries and other excuses for not helping him. He was outed at his school and went through a week of horrendous bullying. In the end he took his own life. I feel a tremendous amount of guilt about that, so I am determined that it is going to be different this time with you."

"Geez I'm sorry to hear about the other guy, but if it has made you the way you are now then I think it is a tribute to him. You're like, making his life mean something and I for one am really grateful and thankful."

"Thanks David, That is really comforting. I hadn't thought about it in that way." It was really redeeming, hearing that from Dave. I finally feel cleansed of the past and free from the consuming guilt. A great weight lifts off my shoulders and I feel that the future was ripe with possibilities. I now feel that any help I give Dave will be for him only, not to salve my wounds. I am happy and relaxed.

I finally get back to the issue at hand. "So Dave, you have apologised and I forgive you for the bullying. We've both admitted wrong doing in the past and both want to do better. Are we okay now? Are you going to stop avoiding me?"

David stays silent, looking uncomfortable. "David? What's wrong?"

"I'm scared." He says almost under his breath.

"Scared of what?"

"Scared of you."

"Me?"

"I'm scared of you and me; of this thing between us! I'm scared of what you want from me! I'm scared that you don't want anything from me! I'm scared that you like me in that way! I'm terrified that you don't like me in that way! I think about making love to you all the time, yet the idea of gay sex scares me half to death. I dream of having a relationship with you but I'm afraid I won't measure up.

"You deserve someone strong and full of confidence, who will proudly walk hand in hand with you. I want to, but I'm not proud of who I am; I'm ashamed to be gay. I don't want to be out to my friends so I can't walk beside you showing everyone how I feel about you. I can't stand the idea of disappointing you! " Dave takes a big breath and lets it shudder out. He won't look at me and he is a picture of misery.

I sigh realizing that my dad was correct; it may well be disasterous if I sleep with Dave this weekend. I collect my thoughts because I have to address Dave's fears carefully.

"David, I don't want to put any pressure on you what so ever. I do like you very much and I hope that we will have a relationship in the future. It can be platonic or romantic, it doesn't matter as long as we stay friends. We'll just let our relationship develop however it grows, with no pressure or expectations. It is your decision when and to whom you come out to. If you ever feel rushed by me just tell me and I'll back off. Okay?"

"Okay. You're not mad or disappointed?" He asks still not making eye contact.

"No I'm not mad at all. I'm actually happy we're talking about it. It's been the elephant in the room throughout this whole period. David, I think you are a wonderful person. The more I get to know you, the more I want to know you. I want to keep you in my life, and however you want to be in my life, is fine me. Please just stay in my life."

He turns and finally meets my eyes and gives me a big smile."You're gonna rue the day you said that, Hummel. You just try and get rid of me now!" He places his hand over my hand that was sitting on his lap. Through our intense talk I had forgotten it was there. I wonder how uncomfortable I had made him feel all this time.

"It's okay." he says as if reading my mind. We just sit there for a while just savouring each other's company.

"Do you want to head back?" I finally ask. "Carol's making dinner."

"Sure."

We start walking slowly back in an amiable silence. I can tell that Dave is a lot less tense now that we cleared the air. I start to wonder how things lie with his parents. I haven't heard any news since this morning.

"So you said this morning that you will be staying a few extra days?"

Dave sighs, " Yeah. My mom didn't take the news about me being gay very well. No surprise there."

"What did she say?" I ask.

"I don't know, Dad wouldn't say. He just said that she wasn't happy and he suggested that I should stay with you guys past the weekend since ha has to attend this conference out of town. I guess we'll be going to school together."

"You're right, that doesn't sound good." I agree. "I mean the part about your Mom's reaction. I'm happy that you safe at home with us." I quickly amend.

"I'm glad to stay with you guys too. She's been phoning and texting me all day." Dave admits.

"You haven't taken any calls have you?"

"No but I glanced at one text; it started with Leviticus all written out in upper case, finishing with several exclamations marks. I decided not to open any more."

"Oh, wow! I know she's your Mom but please try and ignore her until you feel stronger."

"Don't worry I plan to. What do you think we're having for dinner? "Dave asks changing the subject.

I take his lead and we chat all the way back to the house about Carol's great cooking, and the video games he and Finn played. He's still subdued but he is relaxed around me.

After dinner my family and Dave watch a feel good, inspiring movie to round the night off. I go to bed, having another fitful night, wondering about Dave and his mom and how it will be resolved.

* * *

After breakfast Sunday morning, Dave asks me what I have planned today. I tell him that I have decided to get my homework out of the way. He asks to join me so we clear the kitchen table and start on our assignments. Finn joins us, not because he wants to, but because Carol nags him until he gives in. It turned out to be a lot of fun. Dave was almost back to his old self, joking and laughing with us. Of course there was an afternoon game on that Finn and Dave had to see, so they set themselves up with chips and pop in the livingroom with the wide screen TV. Dad and Carol go out on some errands and I start sorting out my closet and rearranging my chest of drawers. I was still lost in my task when Finn taps on my door several hours later.

"Hey kurt, um remember you told me to keep an eye out for Dave and let you know if I think something might be bothering him? Well I think you should check up on him."

"Oh? What happened?" I ask dropping what I was doing and giving Finn my full attention.

"Dave got a call and he stepped out to take it, but he never came back. He sounded upset when he was talking to the person and he just went downstairs to our bedroom. I mean the teams were evenly matched and the game was tied when he left. It was the last quarter; he would have raced back to see the end of the game after the call to find out what happened. Well he should have done that, if he was alright. I didn't follow him downstairs because I respect his privacy but now I 'm starting to get worried."

"How long has he been down there?"

"About an hour and a half. I didn't know what to do and I couldn't think of any reason to go down to the bedroom. I didn 't want him thinking I was checking up on him."

"I have some clothes that need washing. I'll go down and take them to the laundry room. I can see how he is while I'm down here.."

"Oh good! I knew you would come up something!" Finn says visibly relieved.

"Checking up on me Hummel?" the gruff voice says in the darkness as I step down the stairs with my laundry. I know Dave well enough by now that I know it is an attempt at humor but it falls flat since we both know that I am checking up on him and that I have reason to.

Still, I try to sound nonchalant. "I have better things to do than worry about you Karofsky. Laundry waits for no man." I force myself to move to the laundry room and throw the clothes in the washer with some detergent and start the cycle. I don't rush back into his room like I want to, I just santer in and lean against the wall trying to look casual. He is lying on the bed in the unlit room just staring up at the ceiling. He reminds me of me when I would lie on the bed for hours just staring up at the ceiling.

"Are you alright?" I ask noting how sad Dave looks.

"Got a call from my mom. She caught me by surprise. She used somebody else's phone so I answered it without thinking. I'm not going to answer any 'unknown caller' rings again."

"I'm guessing it was pretty bad. Can I lie on the bed beside you?" I ask tentitively.

"Are you going to try anything?"

I look at Dave and he has a small mischeivious smile. I'm delighted that even in these dark times he is joking. "I might try and cuddle you. Fynn's upstairs, I'm sure he'll rush down here and defend your honour if I get too fresh."

"I suppose it's okay then," Dave moves over to give me some room, leaving his arm stretched out silently inviting me to snuggle against him.

I do. I lie against his side, my place my head on his shoulder, slide my arm across his chest and drape my leg over his. We lie like this quite comfortably for a while.

"Did you want to talk about it?" I ask.

Dave sighs, "Not really, but I suppose it might help to get it out." Still he hesitates, and it takes a lot of effort to for me to remain patient and wait for him to gather his thoughts. "One moment, she thinks I'm sick and that I should think about going to therapy. She has some courses already lined up. The next moment she rants that I'm just rebelling against her authority and am chosing to be gay to spite her. Then later she accuses my dad of encouraging me to be gay. She liberally sprinkled the whole conversation with quotes from the bible explaining how sinful it is to be gay."

"You realise that all that stuff is bullshit, right?"

"Yah I know, but it's my Mom. I love her. I want her to keep loving me."

"I know Dave. I know." There is nothing left to say. I would have been devastated if my Dad disowned me. I can only think to comfort Dave nonverbally by snuggling closer and rubbing his chest with my hand.

"How did the argument end?"

"By me hanging up on her. I have never done that to her before. I phoned my dad and told him what happened. He was really upset and said he would phone her again and tell her to stop harrassing me. He even offered to skip the converence and come home early. I told him I was okay. I know this conference is big deal for him. It is a big step up in his career so I don't want him to blow it because of me. We argued about it when it first came up and I pleaded with him to go. The only reason he went to the conference in the first place was because I promised to stay here and not talk to my mom until he was home to protect me.

"Your dad is amazing. He is so supportive!" I gush sincerely.

"So is your dad, and of course are you, and Carol and especially Finn. You have all accepted me without question."

"Well we all love you, my dad, and of course me, and Carol and ESPECIALLY Finn." I say imitating his sentence and adding emphasis on Finn.

Dave chuckles, "Are you jealous of my budding bromance with Finn?"

"I would be if you weren't sleeping with him. How's that going by the way."

"Man! What is with that guy!? That guy's insane!"

I laugh at that. "His snoring is like a jet landing.

"That's not even worst of it!" Dave exclaims. "I had to fend him off all night. When he wasn't elbowing me in the ribs , he was kicking out like a mule. AND he took up the whole bed. I had to cling on like hell to the edge of the bed, hoping I wouldn't be pushed off."

I laughed in sympathy, "I know!"

"How do you know?"

"Once, when we all went to visit my dad's cousin Irene, we had to sleep over and the two of us had to share a bed. I vowed never to sleep with him again. Did he do that weird helecopter thing with his legs?"

"Yeah! At least I think so. Do you mean when he throws his legs up in the air, spins them like a whirly bird and then his body follows, flipping himself on to his belly; then a little while later, he does the same thing again, flipping on to his back?"

"Yep! He almost catapaulted me out of the bed. I woke up in a panic thinking we had an earth quake."

Dave laughed, "That's exactly what I did. Then I stayed awake the whole night, afraid to fall asleep in case he did it again."

"I know! It's freaky. I'm not sure if he has slept with a girl yet for the whole night, (_with time travel I'm no longer certain whom is sleeping with whom)_ but any who do, are in for an nasty surprise."

We lie there again quietly, and I really love being snuggled up against Dave. "I wish Dad would let us sleep together. Just because we share a bed doesn't mean we will be doing anything. At least that way you can get some sleep."

Dave moves suddenly and I find myself pinned to the bed with him on top of me. He stares intently into my face. "I don't think you realise how irisistable you are to me Hummel. I won't be getting any sleep with you in the bad."

I gasp, unable to speak, thrilled to death that Dave feels safe enough to let me see some of the desire he has for me. Blood floods down to my penis as I am instantly aroused. I don't ask, I just grab Dave's head and pull him in for what I hope is a searing kiss, hoping that my actions don't scare Dave off. My efforts pay off, because Dave moans deep in his throat, kissing me back with enthusiasm. He starts moving back and forth rubbing our erections together, never breaking our kiss. I'm more than happy with how things are going and I wrap my legs around his legs and tilt my pelvis for better contact. The passion cranks up to a fevish pitch when...

"Hey guys, Whoa! I'm sorry!" Finn exclaims as he stops dead half way down the stairs. He is clearly uncomfortable, looking anywhere but us. Dave scrambles off me and looks horrified to be caught. I'm just pissed as hell at being interrupted.

"Sorry dudes. Don't shoot the messanger! Burt is home now has decided to take us all out to a buffet for dinner." Finn then turns tail and runs up the stairs.

"That's nice of your father." Dave states diplomatically.

"You know very well he suggested it, just to cock block us. He probably thought we were down here alone a little too long and sent Finn down to interrupt us."

"Poor Finn, do you think he'll recover?" Dave asked.

"I don't care. In fact, I hope we haunt his dreams."

"Great! It will be even worse sleeping with him." Dave sighs ruefully.

Sunday evening at the buffet turns out to be fun. Dave wore the sexy blue shirt and grey dress pants and he looked gorgeous.

"Thanks for picking this out for me Kurt. I was in no state to think about packing clothes, especially not clothes for going out to dinner." Dave replys happily as we pick out our food.

"Believe me, it's my pleasure!" I say as my eyes rake over his body. He blushes again but gives me a brilliant smile.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

Monday morning Dave, Finn and I drive to school together. We have a plan of sorts ready to explain Dave's presence with us for the worst scenario, which was getting caught leaving the car together. Of course the worst of the worst happened and Azimio of all people drives up and parks beside us as we are all piling out of our vehicle.

"What the fuck are you doing with those losers?" Azimio shouts to Dave as he gets out of his car.

"Well hello to you to Azimio, and are you this fine morning?" I answer.

He completely ignors me and glares at Dave waiting for an answer to his question.

"I had some issues at home with my mom so I had to leave. The Hummel-Hudsons were kind enough to take me in."

"I'm your friend, you could have phoned me up. I would have taken you in. I thought I was your best friend; I have your back. You know that." Azimio says, obviously hurt by the slight.

"I know that Az. My father has become close friends with Burt Hummel over the past month. He asked Kurt's dad to take me in for a little while." Dave answers, carefully keeping to the plan we came up with, which was tell the truth but be very vague.

"What the hell kind of trouble are you in?"

"It's personal. I'd rather not say."

"You can't tell your best friend, but these two jokers know all about it." Az huffs.

"I'm sorry Az. They are involved." Dave shifts his weight uncomfortably. It was obvious he is holding a lot back.

Az stares at for some moments watching Dave squirm, finally he shrugs, letting it go. "So can we hang out in the cafeteria before class or are you going off with your new best buds?"

Dave relaxes, all the tension leaving his shoulders. He smiles and nods,"Sure we can hang out. That will be great!" He turns to me and Finn, "Well see you later I guess."

"Okay," I answer, smiling encouragingly. "We have Glee practise after school so you'll have to wait for us."

"Don't worry about me,maybe I'll take a stab at homework in the library."

"I text you later." I reply.

"Well isn't this very sweet and domestic. Maybe you want to kiss your boyfriend goodbye." Comes Az's annoyed response.

Dave looks abashed and turns to follow Az; suddenly he stops and turns back to us with a devilish smile."Great idea Az, why don't I kiss my boyfriend." He then moves towards Finn with his arms out. "How about it Finn honey? Give me a kiss."

"Get out! Leave me alone!" Finn laughs quickly backing up to stay out of Dave's arms.

Dave looks crushed, or at least he tries to but he keeps smirking."What's the matter? You weren't so cold towards me last night when we slept together."

"I like to be romanced, I'm not in the mood this morning." Finn replies laughing still managing to avoid Dave's clutches.

I'm laughing as well watching their antics. Suddenly Dave reaches out and hooks my head with his arm and pulls me in so I'm squished under his armpit. "Kurt's not so flighty, he'll give me a kiss."

"No way! Get off you Neanderthal! Why would I kiss an ignoramus like you!" I pretend to struggle valiantly.

Dave pulls my head up while he lowers his and gives me a peck on the top of my head, then lets me go.

"If you have slobbered in my hair, you'll pay for it!" I yell acting like I'm really upset. Secretly I'm thrilled to death he is showing me affection publically, even if it is in the form of a joke.

"Are you through? Can we go now?" Az grouses unimpressed with our silliness.

"Sure Az." Dave leaves with his friend without a backward glance.

"I hope he'll be alright." I remark as Finn walks beside me as we follow the pair at a distance.

"Don't worry Kurt. He'll text you if something comes up."

After walking a while, Finn speaks. "I'm really rooting for the both of you, ya know. You two will make the best couple."

"Thanks Finn. If we can get through this trouble with his mom, I think we will make a great pair too."

"You really love him a lot, don't you."

"Yeah, but I don't want to scare him, so keep it to yourself, okay?"

"Sure thing. Though - he'd have to be blind if he hasn't figured it out yet."

All morning I resist the urge to text Dave. I don't have any classes with him so there is not chance of seeing him. I know I might see him at lunch in the cafeteria and I stress over my response. Do I acknowledge him or ignore him? Will I end up embarrassing him or slighting him?

In the end my delemma was rendered moot because over the intercom Principal Figgins called Dave to his office just before lunch. So no Dave in the cafeteria when I get there. I shoot him a quick text and I just have to bide my time and wait. I sit with the gang of Glee and find it difficult to care about the current drama (whatever it is) that is happening in Glee. I'd been through it all before; admittedly from far away in (Dalton Academy)but I know that it will be resolved. Whereas Dave's situation can still end tragically no matter what I do. Finn noticed my anxiousness and shoots me empathizing looks and smiles and I appreciate it.

Later in the afternoon, I finally receive a very ambiguous text from Dave. "Mom showed up at school. I'll tell you what went down when we meet up." All it did was make me worry even more.

"So what happened?" I ask Dave as soon as we leave school grounds. I've been on tender hooks all afternoon watching the clock and waiting for school and Glee practice to end so I could find out why Dave's mother had come to the school.

"Man it was nuts!" Dave explains, "I went to the office and there was my mother and her pastor. They wanted to take me out of school and take me to some exgay camp. My mom has reserved a bed for me there out of state and she had a pair of plane tickets her hand. She was going to accompany me there and get me settled in."

"Can she do that? Wouldn't she need your dad's agreement?!" I ask anxiously.

"You know Figgins, he folds at a drop of a hat. He didn't want any trouble, he just wanted me to go with her and sort it out off school grounds."

"But she is basically abducting you!" I shout. I was glad now that I allowed Finn to do the driving. I wanted to give Dave my full attention but this kind of news would have me driving irratically.

"Neither Dad or I had thought to block her from the school or put any stay to stop her. You need a lawyer's letter or something."

"What about the fact that you didn't want to go with her?"

"That's why her pastor was there, to explain to me how sinful gay life is. I told them that if I could have prayed away the gay, God would have made me straight years ago. I told them that I'm finally accepting that I was gay and I didn't want to go them."

"And Figgins? What did he do?"

"All he could say was, you're gay? You don't look gay. Are you absolutely positive you're gay? I'm sorry but you are still a minor I can't stop your mother from taking you."

"What an idiot! What about the fact that your dad would be dead set against you going."

"I explained to Figgins that my dad was away at a conference and that he had entrusted my care to your dad, while he was away. I told him that my dad wanted me to stay with you guys so I wouldn't be left alone with my mother. I told him that the reason my mom is here at school today to take me away was because she knew that my dad would be unreachable. I asked him to phone your dad and he'd explain everything. But Figgins just kept saying his hands were tied, that on paper my mom was still my legal guardian and he wasn't going to act on a seventeen year old's assertion that Burt Hummel had guardian status."

"How did you manage to stay in school then?" Finn asked.

"Sue Sylvester of all people, stopped my mom. She had charged into the office in the middle of our meeting to yell at Figgins about some other thing. But when she realised what was going down, she stepped in and took charge. It was amazing! She lambasted my mom and her pastor over aversion theapy; ripped into Figgins and threatened to bring in lawyers to sue him and the school and promised to call the authorities and report kidnapping, abuse and child endangerment.

"You know that thing she does where she free associates as she rants and you just can't keep up with her random connections and obsure insults to the point that you have no idea what she has said, but you know that you have been well and truly trashed? Sue definitely made a meal of them and then spit them out. She was magnificent! Well my mom just stood there open mouthed, totally speechless and the pastor looked like he was going to wet himself he was so scared. In the end, they backed right off and my mom said she would leave the decision to me on whether go with her or not. Figgins suddenly gets a back bone and said that he would need my dad's or your dad's agreement as well before I could leave school property. Since I did not want to leave school with them it wasn't an issue anyways."

"So does this mean you're like officially out?" Finn asks.

"No way! I asked them all to keep it tp themselves. I made it clear that I am not ready to come out yet. Of course my mom made some snarky remark like 'if you want to be gay so bad and there is supposed to be nothing wrong with it, why do you want to keep it a secret?' I told her I don't want to be gay, I just am gay and I'm still working at becoming confident and strong again before coming out."

"Are you sure your mom won't say anything?" I ask, suddenly worried that she could cause a lot of damage if she outed him now. I haven't met the woman yet but I know I don't like her and I certainly don't trust her.

Dave looks at me annoyed. "I know you think my mom is some kind of monster but even at her worst, she just wants to help me. She just doesn't understand that I can't change my sexual orientation." Dave's expression slumps and he looks very sad. "Besides, she's extremely protective of her standing in the church; she's too ashamed of me to out me publicly. She won't want her friends knowing her son is gay."

I bite my tongue and nod affirmatively even though I do think she is a monster and rail at the idea that she has beaten him down so much that he feels it's his fault that she feels embarrassed. I decide to change the subject.

"How was Az? It must drive him crazy not knowing why your're staying with us."

Dave smiles weaky and shakes his head. "Poor Az, he's really put out and is really hurt that I can't trust him with this personal stuff."

"Why don't you just tell him? Maybe he'll surprise you and accept it." says Finn.

"It doesn't look like that's going to happen." Dave replies sadly. "He was really grousing today, wanting to know why I would want to hang around with a fag. I asked him not to use the term "fag" anymore in my company and told him that Kurt is really cool and lots of fun to hang out with. He asked me if I was scared that Hummel might try something. I told him that if a gay guy come up to him and propositioned him, all he had say was 'thanks, but no thanks, I'm not interested.' He got really angry and said that if a dude came on to him he'd beat the crap out of him. So I said, if a gay guy approaches you, it's not because he thinks you're gay, it's because he thinks you are attractive, he's just taking a chance that you might be interested, so why not be flattered instead of angry. So Az says to me, is that what you have learned from you six week indoctrination on how to be gay? Hummel might have you fooled, but I know that the idea of two guys fucking was disgusting and wrong. If you are turning gay then you can forget staying friends in the future." Dave sighs,"I couldn't tell him the truth about me, I chickened out. Sooner or later though, I will lose him as a friend."

"He's not much of a friend if you ask me," I respond sourly.

"Kurt, he has been a great friend. When I lost my brother in the car accident, the other kids avoided me, like they would catch death and tragedy from me or something. Az was one of the first kids to reach out to me. He told me later that he wanted to be my friend bacause I looked so sad and lonely and he wanted to make me feel better. He's a good guy, but just can't get his head around homosexuality."

"It's a shame because he'll be the one losing out in the end. You're great guy too, and I'm sure losing you as a friend will hurt him just as bad. It seems so pointless." I answer sadly.

"Well look on the bright side," Finn says, evidently channelling Pollyanna, "It can't get much worse!"

"Oh great Finn! Like we don't have enough angst and drama without you going and tempting fate!" I say angrily. Honestly, if he wasn't driving, I'd give him a hard smack on the back of the head.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

In the evening, fate did rear its ugly head with another visit from Dave's mom. Dave and I were hanging out in the livingroom watching Project Runway on TV. I felt I had watched enough football and it was about time Dave was educated in the finer points of the fashion world. He was not enthusiastic about the idea, but since there was nothing else on and Carol was making dinner and would soon call us, he aquiesed.

A loud frantic knock on the door startles me and I jump up quickly to answer the door. A hauty looking woman stands in front of me on the step and I know from Dave's various descriptions that this woman is his mother.

"Where's David?" she asks and I have to quickly step out of the way or get mowed down by the woman as she barges into our house.

"David get your things together. You're leaving this place." she says as she looks stonily around the place like she has just wondered in a den of iniquity.

"I've told you before, I'm not going anywhere with you!" Dave shouts standing up and quickly shuting off the TV. Her mouth is set in a tight grimace. She had seen what we had been watching and I can just imagine her jumping to the conclusion that I am indoctrinating him with gayness.

"You will want to go with me once you have heard my news." she pauses and I am sure it is just for dramatic effect. My gut suddenly cramps up as I fear what she has done before she even says it.

"I have told your friends what a sexual deviant you are. Now that your depravity is out in the open for scrutiny, I'm sure you can see the error of your ways and will come with me to seek help."

I am too stunned by her unbelievable announcement to say a word. Bile raises up in my thoat as I grasp its significance.

Dave just stands there frozen, unable to comprehend what she has just said. "Az? You told my best friend Az?"

"He was the first person I phoned. We had quite a long fruitful chat. He explained to me that it is most likely this boy - " she vaguely waves her hand in my direction, "that has badly influenced you. The faster we can get you out of here, the better!" She simply watches with a cold expression as Dave sinks down heavily on the couch, deathly white, overwelmed by the news.

She continues, "Listen to me David! I have let your friends know what you are even though I have a lot of standing in my church. What do you think they will say when they find out my son is a homosexual? I threw my good reputation away to save you! Now your reputation is destroyed as well. None of your friends will want to have anything to do with you and your perverted desires. We have no future here; I have destroyed it for you. The only way forward is to move from here and into another state and enroll you in an ex-gay programme. You can redeem yourself David. You can become well again and start a normal healthy life away from this place. All you have to do is help me to help you!" David's mother finishes her passionate speech by crouching in front of him and placing her hand on his knee.

"You evil bitch!" I shout loud finally finding my voice.

She stands and stares at me like I am some thing that just slithered out from under a rock. "And you are vile and loathsome little boy, trying to make my son gay! I'm not surprised at the lack of respect to your elders! You are immoral and shameless with no regard for family, traditional values, or God!" She yells right back.

"What the hell is all the shouting!" my dad blusters as he and Carol rush into the room. He takes in the situation looks at the stange woman he sees and demands, "Who the hell are you?!"

"I am David's mother. I demand that you release him into my care! I want to put an end to the unhealthy influence your disgusting family has on my son."

"We are trying to save him from you!" my dad spits back moving himself between me and Dave's mom.

"No wonder he's so confused! Why have you people inserted yourselves into our personal lives?" she asks genuinely perplexed. "We were a normal family until your sexually devient son started to pester my boy."

"Mom! Stop it!" Dave shouts before anyone else can reply. "Kurt is my friend! His only thought has been to protect me and help me. I-"

"Help you! He has done nothing but drag you into his depraved lifestyle. He's a rude, contemptable brat with overindulgent parents!"

"How dare you come into my house and spew such poisonous insults!" My dad shouts. "My son's a good, big hearted boy!"

"He called me an evil bitch. He has no respect for adults."

"Dad! She has outed Dave to all his friends at school to embarrass him enough to go with her to another state." I explain quickly.

Both Carol and my dad look horrified. Carol was the first one to say something. "You're right, Kurt was wrong to say that. He should have added coldhearted and ignorant to his insult of evil bitch!"

"David, get up now. Forget your things they are most likely contamenated by this godless house. I'll get you new clothes! Come with me if you want to be saved." His mom looks to him expectantly.

"The only saving that needs to be done is saving David from you!" I state heatedly. I am shaking with anger at this stupid woman.

"Well David, are you coming?" She moves towards him and extends her arm motioning towards herself.

David shifts,and for a moment, I fear that he will get up and follow her out. It is clear he is unsure as to what to do. I can't imagine what it must be like to decide between the love of your mother and the your own self determination. Having to make a choice must be breaking his heart. I hold my breath, waiting for his decision.

"I'm sorry Mom, I'm staying here." he says softly with such a sad, defeated look, it almost ripped my heart out. How could this woman stand there coldly ignoring his suffering?

"Fine! Share the same fate as your brother!" She grinds out of a twisted mouth. "He didn't listen to reason either and look what happened to him. Our car crash was no accident, it was God's will. He rid the world the world of a sinner. You should have died then too. Your inocent soul would have gone to heaven. Now when you die, you'll end up roasting in hell, just like your depraved brother!"

"That enough!" My dad erupts. "Get the hell out of my house before I call the police!" He manouvers in front of her trying to crowd her back into the hall without actually touching her.

Dave's mother moves to the door but doesn't leave without one last poisonous strike. "You had a chance to accept God's love in your heart and you have turned away from him. I now turn away from you. You are no longer my son!" She storms out the door not looking back.

"That woman certifiably insane!" Carol concludes and she gets no argument from us.

I turn to David worried about what impact her words have on him. What I see does not dispell my fears. He is deathly pale and dry-eyed. He says nothing and simply stares out into space.

"David? David!" He does not respond at all.

"Is that crazy lady gone?" Finn asks cautiously, entering the room. "I decided to stay downstairs until the yelling stopped."

"Yes she's gone!" I answered, annoyed at him. "You should have been up here to be in solidarity with David."

"Sorry! I know, but when I heard what she said downstairs through my ceiling, talking about outing David, I started checking my twitter feeds and facebook. It's bad." Finn paused and looked at Dave. "Hey man, I think you should close down your facebook and twitter accounts. I could do it for you if you give me your password."

I hadn't thought about that aspect, even though I know how badly Dave suffered from bullying through social media the last time. I was so glad Finn was on top of it.

Dave sighs and thinks about it a bit then finally mutters under his breath in a flat tone, " Richard with a capital R, underscore, followed by the number 4, underscore, number 3, capital V, number 3, and capital R."

"Richard_4_3V3R. Got it." Finn replies sadly and walks off to accomplish his task.

Carol sits beside Dave on the couch and pats his knee. "Dinner's ready, sweetie. Do you think you can eat anything?"

"I don't think so Mrs. H. I think I'll wait till later if you don't mind."

"Okay honey, whatever you want."

I decide something has to be done to pull David out of his dangerous emotionless state. "David why don't you come up to my bedroom so we can talk in private?" He doesn't move. "Come David." I say and gently pull on his hand to follow me. Luckily he gives in and slowly follows me up the stairs.

When we reach my bedroom, I close the door while he walks to my bed and lies down. I follow him and stand by the bed looking down at him. He doesn'move over to let me lie beside him so I walk to the other side and lie down. I reach over with my arm and cuddle him. He doesn't stop me, but he also doesn't respond by lifting his arm up to pull me into him.

"Do you want to talk?" I ask tentatively.

"Not really." We lie together silently for a while. Eventually he says,"My life is totally fucked up."

"Yes, it is." I answer, for what else am I going to say.

"Kurt, I don't think I can go on. I just don't have the strength to face tomorrow." He says in a whisper.

"Oh Dave! You must keep going." I urge. "You have to keep positive."

"Positive? All I can see is a black abyss for my future. There is nothing to look forward to. Even if I manage to live through this outing, it's not the end. I will have to out myself everytime I meet new people. I will always be gay first and foremost. I'll be the gay football player, the gay college student, the gay sports agent. I'll never be just plain Dave anymore. My mother was right, I should have died in that car accident. I would have better off and my family would have been better off."

"Your dad wouldn't be better off! I won't be better off! David I can't tell you how much richer my life has been since you have been in it. I have learned so much about myself, and about how to live life. David, the other day I said I would be happy just to be friends with you. I outright lied. It wouldn't have been enough. I have fallen in love with you. Please, for my sake, stay alive!" I plead.

David says nothing but he does turn and look at me. I think I see a little glimmer of hope in his eyes. I quickly clamber over him and lie on top of him. "Let me love you Dave." I whisper. He continues to stare into my eyes and I feel his hands move up and lightly land on my hips. I am not sure if he is thinking of pushing me off gently if I try anything, or encouraging me to do something. I place a light peck on his nose and that seems to go well. I kiss both cheeks, make kissing trails up to his eyes and kiss them when they close. I lightly kiss his face back down to his mouth. It stays closed when I kiss it. I kiss all along jawline, down his neck and back up to his mouth. His lips are still closed. I decide to give him one last kiss and then move to slide off of him. He finally makes his wishes known to me by moving his arms around my body to keep me from moving away and he kisses me back on the mouth, his lips finally responding.

We kiss open mouthed slowly and gently, taking our time. When I introduce my tongue, his is there waiting. We explore each other's mouths thoroughly, and sensitively for a long time. David shifts his leg and our groins meet more intimately. I can feel his erection through my pants. I decide to do some exploring with my mouth and begin by opening his shirt to kiss his lower neck. I kiss each area I expose as I open each button, and so I proceed down his broad chest, soft belly untill I find myself at the border of his jeans. I look up, checking to see if Dave is okay. He is breathing heavy and his eyes are closed. He has said or done nothing to stop me so I decide to go further. I unbutton his waist band and pull down his zipper to let his trapped, hard penis free. I waste no time in sampling him. He is beautiful to behold and tastes wonderful. I soon settle into a rythmn, moving up and down his shaft while fondling his balls. His hard breathing turns into soft moans and although he still will not open his eyes, his hands have moved down to caress my head and his long fingers card through my hair. I work on him for some time, slowly building up the passion and the tension untill he suddenly releases with a deep gutteral sound.

He does something that completely surprises me. With a loud sob, he bursts into tears. I have to scramble back up to his head to comfort him. I take him into my arms and rock him back and forth, cooing in his ear, and telling him it will be okay. I am actually happy he is finally having an emotional reaction, for the dry-eyed deep sadness worried me more.

After a while he stops sobbing; tears continuing to coarse down his cheeks but he is relaxed and holding me in his arms loosely.

"I've lost my mom." David states sadly. "She doesn't love me anymore."

"She does love you. She just can't reconcile her religious beliefs with the truth."

"Loves me? She has a funny way of showing it. First she outs me, then suggests that I'm better off dead and then than disowns me.

"What she did was ignorant and damaging, but mostly to herself. She has walked away from her husband, her only surviving son and her life here in Lima. She will end up suffering more than you. David, you still have your dad who loves you very much. You have me who loves you very much and you have the love of my dad and Carol." I remind him.

David is quiet for a moment. Then he smirks and asks, "What about Finn?"

I laugh happy to see he can joke again, "Especially Finn!"

Dave sighs, "Even so, school tomorrow, is going to be crap to the power of ten."

"With our help you'll survive it and who knows, you might find support in unexpected places."

"Not from Az."

"No not from Az and that's his loss."

"You're right, its not like he has a mind exploding blow job waiting for him at the end of the day." Dave says looking at me hopefully.

I chuckle, "That's right! I can't look into your future and predict what you will face coming out, but I can guarantee an endless supply of fantastic fellatios

David actually gives me a full smile."Now that is definitely somethng worth living for!" His eyes and smile soften and his reaches up to stroke my hair. "If there is a God, I think my mom has seriously misunderstood His intentions. I'm starting to think he has some purpose for both of us that we can only accomplish as males, something only we can acheive together, so he purposely made us gay so we can fall in love and cherish each other while we get on with this thing he wants us to do whatever it is."

I can't help but tear up at his suggestion. I never believed in God, but then I didn't used to believe in time travel until I was able to do it. There was certainly some power at work here, to help me save Dave, perhaps the power of love? Yes, maybe thats it, the power of love. The power of love da dada.

"Why are you singing the 'Back to the Future' theme song?" chuckles Dave.

"I am? I guess I'm just goofy." and I laugh at the humour of it. I didn't realise I was singing and it was funny how apt it was in my present circumstances.

"So does that mean I have a goofy boyfriend?"

"I love the sound of that! My boyfriend." I say, thrilled to bits.

"Me too!" Dave says.

"I do love you, very much and I do believe we were meant for each other."

"Me too. Hey, maybe you were put on this earth to pleasure me!" Dave asks smiling. "I'm totally okay with that. Lately I have been focusing so much on the bad stuff about being gay, I forgot all about the good stuff."

"Hey maybe you were put on this world to pleasure me!" I reply kissing him lightly on the lips, "as for the good stuff, I will keep on reminding you. Now it's getting really late, are you hungry?"

"Oh yeah I am starving! I think I could eat a side of cow!" His stomach suddenly growls on que and we both laugh.

"Knowing Carol, she has plates already served up an waiting in the fridge." I reply as we get out of bed.

* * *

Carol is thrilled to death that we're hungry and busies herself warming up our plates. My dad looks less than thrilled when we come downstairs and he eyes Dave suspiciously.

"You certainly have brightened up." he remarks.

"Oh yeah! I feel a million times better since Kurt and I..." he stopped before he says_ had sex... _"I mean since I..." he can't say _had an orgasam. _So he finishes awkwardly with " since Kurt has comforted me."

My dad appears unimpressed and turns and glowers at me.

I decide to take the bull by the horns, so to speak, and I challenge him by saying. "Dad, Dave is moving up to my room tonight and will be sleeping with me until Dave's dad needs him back home."

"First of all, I phoned Paul to let him know what happened this evening. He's leaving his coverence a little early since most of his work there is done. He will arrive back in Lima tomorrow afternoon, so Dave can go back home after school. Secondly, I have discussed sleeping arrangements with you before and you know my views on that."

"Things have changed since then, Dad. You can't put the genie back in the bottle once he's out. He's staying with me tonight."

My dad looks murderous. "Kurt, I'm concerned about Dave's emotional state. He's been through more crap over a few days than most people go through in a year. You are both teens dealing with issues that..."

Dave cuts in, "Mr. H, you're right, I feel like I've been to hell and back. I just want to tell you that I need Kurt tonight. I don't think I can face tomorrow without him. His loving me has given me a reason to keep going. I won't be able to sleep tonight, if I can't be with him."

"Finn's snoring and hogging the bed is something no one should have to endure, more than a few days." Carol interjects, supporting us.

I smile and go in for the winning arguement, "If Dave sleeps downstairs tonight you will have to sit up all night watching the hall because at some point I will sneak downstairs and join Dave. You wouldn't want to expose poor Finn to such a scarey situation would you?"

"It could scar him for life!" Dave adds.

"Okay! Okay!" My dad responds throwing his arms up in surrender, "you both can sleep together. I like you Dave, and I think you're great boyfriend matereal for my son. I am only worried about what you can handle."

"Oh I can handle Kurt... I mean - I didn't mean it like that!" Dave amends when he sees my dad's reaction. "I mean I will be okay, better than okay if I have Kurt by my side."

* * *

**A/N **I know Dave's mother is very hateful in this chapter. I hope it comes through that in her own way, following her own beliefs, she actually thinks she is doing her best for David. As sick and as horrible as those actions are.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

I wake up the next morning feeling happy, relaxed and refreshed; better than I have felt in a long time. It's no surprise to me, because last night was one of the best nights I have ever had the pleasure of experiencing. I am naked and draped over the man I love and he is equally naked. Evidence of what we did is still visible, empty condom wrappers on the bed, a tube of lube on the bed stand and for me, a pleasantly aching ass.

Our lovemaking last night was wonderful, better than anything I had ever experienced. Each step was a revelation and made me fall in love with him a little more. Blaine was a wonderful boyfriend and considerate, but Dave has put his trust in me and has opened up like a flower.

We started off slow and unsure, exploring each other carefully and with reverence. Even with the slow burn, we gradually reached a point where our passion had to manifest in some act. I was hesitatant, because when I was with Blaine, we only mutually masturbated or gave each other fellatios. I had wanted to explore anal sex but Blaine was against it. He had spouted off some statistic that only sixty-seven percent of gay men engaged in anal and that it was just only a few percentages above heterosexuals. I joked that I was all for increasing that advantage over straights by a couple of percentage points, but Blaine failed to see the humour in that. Now here I was, wanting Dave to consume me so badly but afraid he would have the same reaction as Blaine. Dave was pushing against me rubbing our cocks together and I knew I would have to say something or we would both climax that way.

"Dave I want you inside me." I whispered.

"Really? I want to be inside you too, but I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to do and I don't want to hurt you."

"That's okay, I'm new at this too."

For someone thst said he wasn't too sure, Dave was wonderful. He must have done some reading about it because he carefully prepared me and used lots of lube. "I want to see you. I don't want my eyes off you." he said when I offered to turn my back to him to make it easier for our first time. He stared lovingly into my eyes as he entered me and we rocked together in a natural, easy rythmn. My heart sang with joy at the simple beat knowing without doubt that he was 'the one' and all was right with the world. Soon we picked up the pace and ratcheted up the passion until we were completely spent. Dave broke down and cried again, and this time I joined him with tears of absolute joy as well as sadness.

Afterwards we cuddled, kissed and giggled and complimented each other on how amazing we were. It wasn't before long the cuddles and kisses became more urgent and demanding and the giggles turned into moans.

"I want to try it this time. I want you inside me." Dave gasped out as I ground my pelvis against him. I must have looked surprised at his request. "It looked like you enjoyed it. You looked absolutely blissful."

"You put me on another plane of existance, David. I felt so connected to and cherished."

"I want to be blissful like that."

It was a tiny bit harder to make love face to face owing to the fact Dave was larger than me but with a little manouvering and cooperation we were soon enthusiastically banging away. I myself couldn't say which was better. I loved the fullness of having Dave inside me but I also adored feeling of enveloped by Dave and watching his animated face as I pressed into him until he climaxed. David said more or less the same thing; he loved both positions even though he felt a little more vulnerable bottoming.

"Not that I mind feeling vulnerable with you because I trust you," Dave clarified. "I actually kinda like it."

Later that night after a light snooze we went for another bout of lovemaking. This time Dave wanted to try mutual blowjobs, explaining that the 69 position was one of his big fantasies. "You featured pretty prominently in those fantasies," Dave said blushing adorably.

Of course I couldn't say no to that. Lying on top of Dave, having him in my mouth while he suckled me was magical. I realised that was how it was, loving Dave. The adjectives that came to mind when loving him were words like magical, subliminal and transforming. They were powerful words that described how our merging together changed my life. There was before loving Dave and after loving Dave. Dave said something similar to me after we finished. We were lying on our sides, cuddling and facing each other when he opened up to me even more.

"Today was the worst day I have ever been through; other than the day my brother died. Both times I lost something huge and my life felt diminished. I didn't think I would survive it. Yet tonight was the best night of my life, period; better than when I made my first touchdown. It's the best because I shared something special with someone I love and admire and I'm a better person because of it."

What makes Dave such an amazing lover is his generousity, wit and kindness; he holds nothing back when he is with me. It is also what makes him an amazing person, so it was hard to imagine, given his kind spirit, how he was able bully me so effectively earlier on and as we lay naked in each other's arms, I wondered about it out loud.

"It wasn't all that hard actually." Dave explained. "I had so much inner rage about my brother's death and the unfairness of it, and the fact that God seemed to have it in for me by making me gay; it was easy to channel all that anger into tormenting you."

"What I mean David, is that being so mean to me must have taken a terrible toll on you since your real personality is so different from your bully persona."

"Oh yeah. I certainly hated myself for bullying you, but that bad feeling just fueled my anger so it became a vicious cycle. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't encouraged me to face my demons Kurt." He paused for a heartbeat and then continued. " Well that's not true, I do know."

I gulped knowing what he said next might be the issue we had been dancing about, and not really talked about since he admitted he was gay. He had done it in our previous life and I have since wondered how long he had contemplated it. I wanted him to get it out in the open. "You know you would have done?"

"Well yeah, but I think you already have an idea as to what it is, or I should say was. A while ago when I realised the gay wouldn't go away, I came up with this plan. I would work hard at school, figure out what I was good at and become sucessful at it. It didn't really matter to me what. Though I figured it would have something to do with sports like a sports agent or something. I wanted to be successful to make my brother's death mean something by not being a loser. I was determined to become the top of my field before I was twenty-five, and maybe enjoy my success until I was thirty."

"What would happen at thirty?"

"I would kill myself. Make it look like an accident, so my parents or anybody else wouldn't realize that I did myself in. I didn't want my mom worrying about my soul. I wanted her to think I was in heaven with my brother.

"Why thirty?" I asked, surprised at how long this plan had been in place and how detailed it was.

"I figured I could make it to thirty possibly, without anybody finding out I was gay. People would expect me to get married and have kids but I could always say I was too busy being good at my work that I had no time. Sooner or later they would start to question that and wonder why I'm not involved with girls. I also figured that eventually I'd give in to my depravity and have sex with a man. No matter how discreet I would be, it would be something that could be discovered so I wanted to be dead before it came out."

"Oh my God David that was a terrible plan!"

"What do you mean? It was the perfect plan until you came along and screwed it up Hummel!

"Me?" I asked looking into Dave's smiling face.

"Yeah you with your tight jeans, your sexy body, and cute smile. I couldn't stop thinking about you. I had all these fantasies and wet dreams featuring you. My grades started slipping because I couldn't concentrate, so my idea of getting a scholarship to a good university was in jeopardy. You had woken me up to my sexually and I started noticing other good looking boys. The idea of making it to thirty and not acting on my gay desires now seemed a bad joke. I had to keep revising my plan, maybe not being so successful and staging my 'accident' even earlier."

I must have looked horrified when he was telling me this, but he just squeezed me reassuringly and kept on talking

"The worse part, was that you were flaunting your gayness and looking perfectly happy while I was suffering. Your Glee friends were still your friends after you came out, whereas I knew without a doubt mine would leave me high and dry. It was so damned annoying, and so unfair." He continued in a self-mocking tone.

"One day, I saw you walking in the halls, in a cute little outfit, looking so adorable that I just had to stop it. I had just bought a slushie, (I actually drink those things) and I threw the contents at you. I realized then that I finally found some relief from my inner demons, by raining on your gay parade. Of course the guilt and self loathing returned, even worse because I was the source of that look of anguish in your eyes, but I did have a moment of freedom when I bullied you. A feeling that I could push back that time clock that was counting down inside me. That's why I kept doing it." David stopped talking we lay there quietly letting his words sink in.

I lay there with the realisation that we could be through the darkest part of night and we were about to see the dawn.

"So now that we're together this plan of yours is well and truly destroyed?" I asked eagerly my heart swelling.

"Yeah! Because of you, I'm now going to have to live my whole life happy, healthy and gay! I hope you're satisfied Hummel." Dave said in a joking growly voice.

I beamed, happy that all my efforts had paid off. I put on my best imitation snarky Diva voice. "Well excuse me for ruining all your plans Karofsky!"

Dave immediatly rolled over and laid on top of me with wicked grin, his fingers positioned by my sides ready to dig in. "Say you're sorry that you ruined my plans Hummel, or else!"

"Or else what?" I challenged, giggling and squirming, knowing what will come next.

"Or else this!" and Dave started moving his fingers and tickling me.

It turned out to be a one-sided tickle fight, Dave might be bigger and stronger than me but he is far more ticklish than I am. Pretty soon I was on top of him and he was the one writhing and squirming. As I lightly danced my fingers along his sides, I demanded, "Tell me I'm the best thing ever and that you're glad I ruined your dumb old plan. Say it Karofsky!"

"Okay! Okay! It was a stupid plan and you are the best thing ever!" He admitted, laughing. At the same time he wrapped his arms around me to stop the tickling and pulled me close for a long enjoyable kiss. That's how we ended the night; we just cuddled, kissed and murmured our love to each other until we fell asleep in each other's arms.

Now it is morning and we still have one big hurdle. Even though Dave had told me his previous plans of suicide are dust, I don't believe we are out of the woods yet. I don't want him beginning any new ones because of the situation at school today. I lean over and kiss my lover awake. "Good morning Dave." I say smiling, watching as he stretches and wipes the sleep out of his eyes. "Hey." he answers smiling back.

"Ready to start the rest of your life?"

"No. Couldn't we just stay here under the covers and make love for the rest of the day?"

"No, then they would have won!"

"So let them win. We can stay here and snuggle." He emphasises his point by pulling me closer and nuzzling my neck.

I decide is time for a motivational speech. Except I don't have one. I can think of only one thing to get him out of bed. "I'm starving, let's see what Carol has made for breakfast."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 12**

We tumble down the stairs with some clothes we dragged on and both amble into the kitchen to see what food there is to eat.

"Finn! What on earth are you wearing?" He is sitting at the kitchen table wearing an old t-shirt that has a slight pink tinge to it and around his neck he has Carol's pink bandana. I know it's Carol's because I bought it for her.

"I'm wearing that old t-shirt that used to be white, you know when I had mistakenly washed it in hot water with your cherry red Hugo Boss shirt. Remember? You were mad at me for days" Oh I remembered. I was furious with him then and reminding me was making me angry with him all over again. My shirt had shrunk two sizes and was totally ruined. Finn continued oblivious. "I borrowed Mom's bandana because I didn't think the shirt was pink enough."

Finn seems to be speaking English but he's not making much sense. "just explain to me why are you wearing pink?" I ask tersely.

"While you two were doing whatever you were doing last night, Finn got BUSY," my dad answers instead. Obviously he is still in a snark about the sleeping arrangements.

"We were just as BUSY." I snarked back.

"Finn was busy mustering the troops!" Carol cuts in draping her arm along Finn's shoulder beaming proudly.

"What troops?" Dave asks puzzled.

"All our Glee friends and anyone one else who hates haters." Finn replies, very pleased with himself.

"Well don't just sit there all smug, spill it!" I press sitting at the table opposite him.

"Last night I got to thinking that we needed help to face Az and his friends for the inevitable show down at school tomorrow, so I called up the guys in Glee and they were all eager to help. We were making up rotas so someone was always with you guys to and from classes in case they try anything. Well someone told the girls what we were planning and they wanted to help too.

"We were all brainstorming about what to do when I suddenly remembered this news item I heard. It was about this pink shirt day they have in Canada where some little boy got teased for wearing a pink shirt so this other student and his friends wore pink shirts the next day in solidarity. It was so popular that Canadian students do it on one day every year. I told them this might work for us since this was kinda larger than Dave being gay and being bullied. It should be for anyone and everyone who gets bullied for being different. Everybody loved the idea. Artie mentioned that a lot of the AV guys got picked on and he was sure he could bring them on board too. Tina knew a few people and so did Sam. It kind of just got bigger and bigger because everybody knows somebody that gets bullied. So that's what we're doing, having an impromptu pink shirt day today to show our support for tolerance and anti bullying."

"That's wonderful Finn, you are something else when you get motivated." I shout happily.

"I really appreciate the support Finn, but I can't see that a few guys in pink shirts are going to make a difference," Dave says a bit disheartened.

"You don't understand, this idea has gone viral already, at least at McKinley. Loads of other students who have felt bullied and teased have said they're going to wear a pink shirt, even most of the teachers on board as well. Miss Pillsbury, Mr. Schue, Coach Bieste -"

"Mr. Figgins won't allow it for sure. I don't want you guys to get in trouble." Dave cuts in.

"Oh he won't be any trouble, Sue is handling him. I don't what she has over him but he usually jumps when she tells him to."

"So it's definitely on!" I exclaim excitedly. "Oh! This is the perfect time to wear my new pink fatigue pants!"

"Dave I have a pink polo shirt that should fit you, Kurt bought it for me last Christmas." my dad says.

"Oh I forgot about that shirt. Hey! No wonder I forgot about it. I've never seen you in it!" I respond.

"I was just waiting for a special occasion!" Dad explains hurriedly. "Look, shouldn't you guys get eating? You have to get dressed as well and get to school." I was on to his clever deflection but I let it ride.

* * *

I finally glide down the stairs in all my pink glory to my waiting family (Dave is most lovingly included in the definition) running a little late because it was not easy wip up a impromptu ensemble with little notice. Everyone's jaw drops in shock, which is the exact reaction I was expecting.

"You look exactly like what a general in charge of a huge gay army would look like." Finn exclaims in wonder.

"Why thank you Finn, that was the precise look I was going for." I say proudly. I am wearing my afore mentioned pink camouflage fatigue pants, a fuchsia t-shirt under a purple hunter's vest, bookended by red Doc Martins and a red beret, and last but not least, rainbow dog tags. "Are the troops ready for combat?"

"Sir! Yes Sir!" Finn happily shouts saluting and coming to attention, really getting into the spirit of things.

My dad just rolls his eyes and Dave just shifts his feet uncomfortably.

"Well let's go! We'll be late!" I say with as much bravado as I can muster and I stride through the front door.

Finn and I try to carry on the enthusiasm during our ride to school with jokes and quips but I can see that it is not affecting Dave. He's quiet and obviously fretting about his arrival at school. I decide it's time to pinpoint his fears in the hopes that we can address them.

"Hey Dave, what are your worst fears today? What are you dreading that will happen?"

"Getting the crap beaten out of me. "Dave says morosely.

"That's not going to happen. We've got it covered. Both you and Kurt will be accompanied by someone when you change classes. The teachers will be on the look out for any funny business so you'll be safe." Finn affirms.

Dave didn't look any happier.

"What else worries you?" I ask.

"Meeting Az. I'm worried about what he'll say. I know I have lost him as a friend and it really hurts. His opinion of me still matters to me."

"What's he going to say to you?"

"He'll call me a fag."

"You are a fag Dave."

"I know."

"So say it! Say I'm a fag! A total faggot."

Dave just sighs.

"Dave, take it from me who has endured all kinds of insults over the years. Calling yourself a fag and owning the word, making it badass, takes the sting away. You're a fag! Be out and proud!"

"I'm - I'm a fag." Dave finally says just above a whisper.

"Are you a timid little girl? Shout it out like you mean it." I demand.

"Dave's a great big fag!" Finn shouts out enthusiastically and incredibly loud in the small confines of our vehicle, pounding the roof with his fist for good measure.

"Finn, while I appreciate the sentiment behind that outburst, it's not helping."

"I'm just trying to show Dave it's like before the last down in football, especially when we're trailing in the game. The coach gets us revved up and we shout 'Titans rule!' or 'we're the best!' Today we're shouting 'Dave's a fag! The best goddamned fag that ever lived." Finn explains.

I roll my eyes; trust Finn to link everything to football. The funny thing is, I can see it resonating with Dave. He has little smile on his lips and is obviously mulling over what Finn has said. I know just what to say to push him along. "That's ridiculous! Everyone knows that I'm the best fag that ever lived." I state proudly.

"Who died and made you queen of the queers, Hummel?" Dave challenges, smiling. "I'm the biggest and best fag of them all! Whoa! Whoa!"

Of course, Finn joins him with his own whoops and hollers and I am left shaking my head at these jock types and their weird rituals. But I have to allow that Finn has indeed worked his magic and Dave is smiling and looking more confident, shouting 'I'm a fag!' at the top of his lungs.

We finally arrive at the school. As we disembark from our vehicle I am gripped by fear for Dave and myself. There are a group of menacing looking football players milling around waiting for us and there is not a friend or pink t-shirt in sight. Dave's worst fears might be realised about getting the crap beaten out of him after all.

"Finn where's your flash mob of pink shirts and protection?" I ask testily.

"I don't know! They're supposed to be waiting for us." says Finn looking puzzled.

"Well we'll just have to face them ourselves." Dave announces, his bravado competing with his pale clammy face.

"Alright then, let's go." I say more bravely than I feel. I'm surprised as Dave's hand slips into mine.

We walk along the path to school slowly, gradually approaching the line of footballers blocking our way.

"Of isn't that the sweetest thing!" one of the boys crows. "Karofsky's holding hands with his boyfriend." He juts out his hip and flops his hand in a very stereotypical effeminate fashion. The rest of the guys laugh harshly, all except Azimio.

"It's disgusting if you ask me!" Dave's ex-best friend growls.

"Well don't look!" Dave shouts back as we approach.

The three of us stop in front of the line, with Dave facing off with Azimio. The others quickly surround us. This is not looking good.

"Come on you guys, we're all on the same team. Just let us pass. Why does there have to be any trouble?" Finn asks, trying to reason with them.

"We're not on the same team. These faggots are on team Homo." Az manages to grind out. "I'd get out while the getting's good Hudson, or you might find yourself in serious trouble."

"I'm staying." Finns says in a determined voice readying himself for trouble.

The boys crowd in closer and I steel myself to fight back. I decide I am going to give a few nasty kicks to sensitive places before I go down.

"Well it looks like we're just in time!" A cold voice rings out, cutting across everything.

"Isn't it sweet that my football team is welcoming the new love birds." comes another menacing voice right after the first one.

All of us stop and turn towards the two very powerful women. Sue Sylvester is standing tall, feet apart and arms crossed in a neon pink athletic jump suit, looking murderous. Coach Shannon Beiste is right beside her, looking equally angry in a hot pink polo shirt, purple shorts and pink socks and running shoes.

Behind them came a ragtag stream of students and teachers all gathering behind them, all with different pink articles of clothing.

Shannon quickly walks into the middle of the boys. "I'm glad to see you boys are getting along so well. I would hate to cut anybody off the team for bullying and misconduct." The boys glare and sulk but they grudgingly break up and move off muttering.

Az snares one last time at Dave and spits, "You and me are done."

"I don't know if I care Az, if you notice, I've got plenty of friends." Dave fires back. I know it hurt him to hear Az say that; I can tell by his pained face.

Puck comes striding over to Finn. He's wearing a baby pink muscle shirt which makes him look surprisingly masculine. "What the hell Finn, you were supposed to meet us at the parking lot on the west side. That's where we were all assembled."

"You mean this isn't the west side?" Finn asks perplexed.

"No, you idiot!" Puck replies,"We really had to scramble to get here when we realised you goofed up!"

I roll my eyes,"You're both idiots! The school's parking lots are on the north and south sides."

Puck shrugs"Whoops, my bad."

"Idiots or not, you guys are the greatest! I can't believe this turn out." Dave says in a emotional voice as he looks around at all the students gathered."I really appreciate the effort on my behalf and I sincerely apolgise to you all for being a horrible bully to a lot of you. You guys are so much better friends than I deserve. But I'm telling you now, I am going to earn your trust by being the best person I can be." Dave suddenly thrusts his fist in the air and shouts, "Mckenley High is the best school ever!" Everyone cheers and hollers. Rachael followed by the rest of the Glee girls quickly surround Dave and start to hug him.

Dave in tears looks over to me, I am also crying and surrounded by students clapping me on the back, fist bumping me and wishing me well. We smile at each other, knowing that everything is going to be alright.

After one of the absolute best days I have at McKenley, Finn drives us to Dave's house to drop him off. We are all in high spirits, talking animatedly about the days events.

"I still can't believe the support I got today. Almost everybody talked to me today was kind, asking me if I was okay or telling me how brave I was. I still got some heckles and homophobic insults from some of the guys, but if it made me feel bad I'd just have to look around and I would see at least three people wearing pink at any time, anywhere. They'd smile and wave at me and I'd be uplifted again." Dave remarked, clearly still in awe how everthing unfolded.

"Finn, I can't thank you enough about that pink shirt campaign you arranged. It truly was remarkable." I add.

"It was everyone's doing. I may have suggested the idea but it was the rest of Glee that made it happen." Finn says bashfully.

"Don't forget the teachers! Without their help it might not have worked. I was sure glad to see Sue and Coach Bieste this morning. They came just in the knick of time. And later, Mr. Sheuster intercepted one of the hockey guys when he tried to slushie me. So now the dude has to write a letter of apology to me or face detention for a week." Dave says.

"Poor boy!" I laugh. " I guess he'll have to endure a week's detention. It's not like any of those guys can actually write."

"Hey Hummel, less of the hockey-phobic remarks! I started out as a hockey player until football lured me to the dark side." Dave jokes back.

"I suppose you're right. I'm presuming something based on jock stereotypes. I still have more to learn about bullying." I say, somewhat seriously.

"Don't worry I'll keep you." Dave replies, looking very lovingly at me. "Hey, you are staying with me when Finn drops us off right?"

"I hadn't been planning too. Don't you want to spend some time with your dad?" I ask.

"Can't I spend time with Dad AND you? My dad has already yes. I asked when he phoned me this afternoon. Besides, I don't think I ever want to sleep in a bed without you now that I've spent a night with you."

"I spent a couple of nights with you. How come I haven't received an invitation like that?" jokes Finn.

"You snore! " Dave and I shout out together and then laugh.

"Well? Please say you'll stay the night with me." Dave persists.

"I'd love to. But what about my dad. He was kinda funny about it this morning." I can't help but gasp as Dave runs his fingers along the back of my neck lightly. The passionate shock goes straight to my crotch.

"Well okay, if you're not interested..." Dave whispers in my ear and pauses, knowing full well what he's doing to me.

"I'm phoning!" I gasp again scrambling to get my cell. "Dad! Hi it's me. I'm staying over at Dave's tonight and I don't care what... Oh really? Oh, okay. Thank Carol for me. I guess I'll see you when I see you then. Thanks -I guess?" I put the phone back in my pocket.

"Apparently, your dad has already phoned my dad and asked if I can stay over. Carol went into my closet and picked up three of my ensembles and drove them over to your place." I announce surprised.

"Ensembles?" Dave asks.

"Kurt always has several sets of clothes all prepared for school in case he's running late." Finn kindly fills in for me. I'm still ruminating on this development.

"What is going on with my dad? He even said that I can stay a couple of days. It's like he wants to be rid of me or something."

'No he doesn't Kurt. I think he trusts that you have good instincts. He showing us that he is okay with our relationship. I'm thrilled that you staying with me for awhile."

"Here we are!" Finn announces as we pull into Dave's driveway. We all get out and Finn gives us both a bro hug before getting back in the car and driving away.

"Hey Dad! We're home! Dave shouts as he opens the door to his home."

His dad gets up from the couch and greets us with a big smile. "It's great to have you home," he says and pulls both of us into a bone-crushing group hug.

"I'm sorry about Mom, Dad." David says in a sad voice.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. She doesn't matter anymore. I have all I need with my family right here." Paul says looking at both of us happily. He hugs us again.

"Don't forget my dad and Carol, they're your family as well." Dave adds happily.

"And Finn?" I ask Dave knowingly.

"Especially Finn!" Dave says and laughs at his own running joke. I stare lovingly at him and he looks really happy and relaxed. He has a big sweet smile with sparkling eyes and he returns my stare with equal warmth.

I now believe without doubt that I have finally done it. I have saved Dave! I know it deep in my bones. I may no longer know the future and the details of what happens next, but I know that Dave will survive his demons. In saving Dave, I have saved myself and have created a new future where Dave, my true love, and I can live together. This is how it was meant to be. I finally feel that all is right with the universe.

"Kurt are you okay? Why are you crying?" Dave asks concerned.

"I'm crying?" I lightly stroke my cheeks with my fingers and they come away wet. "Don't worry Dave, they are just tears of pure joy."

**The End**

* * *

**Epilogue to come!**

**A/N** The original pink shirt event was organized by David Shepherd, and Travis Price of Berwick, Nova Scotia, Canada who in 2007 bought and distributed 50 pink shirts after a male ninth grade student was bullied for wearing a pink shirt during the first day of school.

The original event was organized by David Shepherd, and Travis Price of Berwick, Nova Scotia, who in 2007 bought and distributed 50 pink shirts after a male ninth grade student was bullied for wearing a pink shirt during the first day of school.


	12. Chapter 12

**I just want to say that my making Finn such a lovable side character in this story was my little ode to Cory Monteith, may he rest in peace.**

**Epilogue**

I wake up in the morning with the most excruciating headache I can ever remember. That's not true actually, the last time I had a headache like this was when I went back time... I jump up with a jolt. Have I moved in time again? I look around frantically for Dave; he's not beside me in bed nor in the room. Where is he?!

I finally glance at my bedside table and notice the photo of Dave, Finn and myself mugging for the camera in our red graduation gowns. I breath easy now that I know I am still here in the new present. I look at the picture again with fond memories. We were all so happy that day. My proud dad took the picture just after the ceremony. It started off as a picture of us three boys, Dave and I bookending Finn in the middle. As my dad snapped away we started fooling around and at one point, Dave and I both moved in and kissed Finn on each cheek. The look on his face was priceless. It was a way over the top, mock oh-my-god-I'm-just-a-simple-straight-dude-and-I've-just-been-kissed-by-two-boys look. Out of all the pictures my dad took that day I decided to frame this one because it just captures beautifully, the relaxed relationship that we all have with each other. I love the picture because it shows the two most favorite boys in my life; my lover and my brother. I gaze at Dave in the photograph, he looked so hot in that red gown. Something about that red made me want to jump him all day. I even tried to sneak a gown home with me so Dave could bonk me that night while wearing it. But Sue Sylvester caught me with it and made me hand it in.

Maybe when we get to New York I can look through some vintage shops and find one of those red gowns...

The bedroom door opens and in walks Dave with a tray of food. "Ah my sleeping beauty is already awake. How do you feel? I brought some Ibuprofen along with bacon, eggs and black coffee."

"Dave you certainly are my prince. Thank you." I sit up gingerly and wince because of my pounding head. I practically snatch the pills from his hand and grab the glass of water from my night stand and gulp the cool water and pills down. I then sink back in my bed and wonder why I panicked; thinking that I am back in the old universe? I haven't thought about my old past in months, in fact it is getting harder and harder to remember it. I recall that my present headache is not from moving in time; its a hang over from getting drunk the night before.

Dave sets the tray on my lap and he adjusts the pillows between me and our head broad so I am more comfortable. He then moves to his side of the bed and gets on gingerly so as not to jostle me. I try to smile at him but even that small gesture makes my sore head pound.

"Do you remember anything about last night?" Dave asks lightly.

"Just that we were on a double date with Blaine and that meekrat boyfriend of his, Sebastian at Scandals." I say as I stab at my scrambled egg whites violently, imagining the pasty white pile is Smythe.

Dave chuckles, "What is it between you two? Even when Blaine introduced him several months back, it was like, hate and loathing at first sight."

"He's a douche. Blaine could do much better."

"I agree Seb's a bit of a douche, but I think Blaine will be the making of him, just like you were for me."

"How can you compare yourself to him? You are a so much better person than him."

"I don't compare myself to him, I can just kinda relate to him." Dave responds shrugging slightly.

"I don't see how. If he calls you 'Chubby Cubby' or 'Liberace Brows' one more time, I'll deck him!" I grouse, viciously hacking at a bit of bacon.

"That's just Seb being Seb, it doesn't bug me half as much as it seems to bother you." Dave replies. "For him, it's almost a term of endearment. Besides, you and Seb got along famously last night. You were telling him how great he was and how you had misjudged him."

"God I must have been drunk as a Lord!" I take a break from eating to rest my achy head. "How did I end up so drunk? I only had three drinks that I can remember. The rest of the evening is pretty foggy after that. I usually hold my liquor better than that."

"Six drinks, you had the equivalent of six drinks before you and Smythe started on shots." Dave replies.

"What do you mean, I had the equivalent of six drinks?" I ask puzzled.

"Remember how Seb insisted buying our rounds? Supposedly to celebrate our new future together in New York? Well he was ordering doubles for you. Apparently he thought your 'prim and proper ass had to be loosened up' - his words, not mine." Dave explains.

"You let him do that to me?" I gasp, really upset.

"He didn't tell us what he was doing, Babe! I only started getting suspicious after the third round because you were so much drunker than the rest of us. Then you challenged Seb to a drinking game. It would be too obvious if he served you doubles then, but it didn't matter anyways. You were so drunk you kept losing to him, so you were drinking twice as many shots. When I finally got him to admit what he'd done I was so furious I threatened to break his hand if he bought you another drink."

"My hero!" I enthused. "I wished you had broken his hand, the rotten fink!"

"Last night you pouted and called me a party pooper."

"I did?"

"As I said, you were Seb's best friend last night. When we finally got him to admit he was out to get you hammered, you thought it was . You chided me for being angry with him and when we finally parted for the evening, you gave him a big hug and a kiss goodbye. I must say, you are a very happy and forgiving drunk." Dave finishes.

"I'm not his friend now, the rotten bastard." I replied rubbing my head. "You say I kissed him? No wonder my mouth tastes so foul this morning."

Dave chuckled. "Well he is very sorry, and he admitted that it was a stupid trick to pull. Blaine was very angry with him. I think he'll be regretting actions for a few days until Blaine forgives him." Dave reaches over to his night stand. "By the way, I have to give you your wallet back, I took it out of your bag."

"Why do you have it?" I asked puzzled.

"After I banned Seb from buying drinks and you called me a party pooper, you announced to everyone that you were going to buy the next round. You couldn't locate your bag so I found it first and handed it to you, minus your wallet. I slipped it out of your bag as I handed it to you. When you couldn't find your wallet we suggested someone must have stole it. Here you are." Dave says as he hands me the wallet.

"Thanks Dave, you aren't a party pooper, you are the best boyfriend ever. Oops!" my coordination hasn't returned yet and the wallet slips out of my grasp and lands on the bed. A small white card falls out.

Dave picks up the card and reads it. ."Who's Tante Zoe?"

"A hundred year old woman I met once. Can I see it?"

Dave gives me the card and I stare at it. It is identical to the card Britney gave me in my previous time. I don't know how it ended up in my wallet. Nothing else from the previous time came with me. In the months Dave and I have been together since our second 'first kiss' I have never seen it in my wallet.

"Dave, did anybody else have access go my bag? I have no idea this card came from." I ask him quite puzzled.

"Like who? And why would they add something to your bag?" Dave asks equally puzzled.

"I dunno, maybe Britney?"

"You mean when Britney, and Santana dropped by our table to say hello. But why would she slip a card in you bag?"

"Never mind I'm being silly." I say not wanting to explain Britney and time travel.

"You can be as silly as you like, sweetheart. You were silly enough to pick me and I love you for it." Dave says and he kisses me. "How's your head?"

"Still hurts like a bitch. I feel dreadful." I complain.

"How about a shower together? I'll make you feel real good." Dave replies suggestively, while stroking my thigh.

"I'd love that, maybe later this morning?" I ask hopefully.

Dave stands up and starts stripping off his clothing. "Sorry man, it's now or never. It's getting late and I have to get ready for my golf game."

"Golf game?"

"Yeh me and Finn are teaming up against the old fogeys, and this time we're gonna win." Dave says proudly standing there in all his naked glory.

"You won't be alive long enough to win, if my dad hears you calling him and Paul old fogeys." I laugh.

"Agh, you should hear how we insult each other while we play the course. Your dad's brutal at smacktalk."

"No thanks, you boys have a good time." I smile, eyeing Dave's goods on display.

"So are you joining me in the shower?" Dave asks hopefully while swinging his privates playfully at me.

I laugh, "I think I will." I move to get up and the room sways sickeningly and my head pounds violently. I drop back onto the bed. "Goddamned cocksucker! I'm going to kill that cock-blocking bastard Smythe, next time I see him!" I rasp out holding my head.

Dave just chuckles. "Well it looks like I'm having a shower all by my lonesome." He struts very proudly into the shower, wiggling his ass with each step in a very provocative yet manly way, knowing it would bug me. I just glare after him until I realise it's making my head worse. I lay my head and try to stay still gradually my eyes flutter shut...

* * *

_I am walking along a corridor with many doors. I come to a small white door with a shiny gold handle. The door opens without my help and I glide into the brilliant white room. I see two figures dancing in the distance, amongst a crowd of people smiling and cheering. As I get closer, I see Dave smiling, looking lovingly into the eyes of another me as we move around the junior prom dance floor. I pause and stop to watch this vignette. Junior prom was one of my most cherished memories. When I relived Junior prom I changed it up. Instead of working through the humiliation of being elected Prom Queen I actively peruse it, actually campaigning to be voted in as queen before the dance, much to Santana's annoyance. Figgins was furious and explained that being a boy I couldn't possibly be voted in a girl's position. I would loved to ask him why did his former self announce my "win" the first time around. Of course I couldn't because no one but me knows about the time travel. Sue came to the rescue again threatening him with some dark secret to allow me to run. On the magical night, Dave was elected king once more and I was his chosen queen. And this time Dave willingly danced with me in front of everyone. It was marvelous!_

_I glide by another vignette of Dave and I cheering and hugging each other and the rest of the Glee gang as we win the national championship. Shortly after the pink shirt day, Dave joined Glee and became one of our stronger male voices. _

_I continue to move along watching several Daves and other Kurts celebrate all the mile stones that Dave and I celebrated in this time line. It was beautiful and moving and I feel extremely happy reliving all these happy moments. I feel blessed and satisfied with how my life with Dave has played out. _

_I pass by one last vignette and pause. I watch as another me sings a song for my audition to NYADA. I was singing Sting's song 'Until' *, a song written about time and deep love. I actually had another song picked out but when I saw Dave's smiling face in the auditorium supporting me as he always does, I impulsively chose this song instead. I was practising it to sing on his birthday but decided that the song was perfect to sing for our mutual goal to live in New York. I sang like I had never sang before. The song resonated with me like no other. I sang for David and I, for our future and past. As impulses go it worked out great! I was chosen to go to NYADA along with Rachael. With Dave managing to get a spot in NYU, we were so happy to be together in New York. _

_Up ahead I saw her, a small sitting figure, dressed in white almost disappearing in the large winged back white chair that was positioned in the corner of the room. This time, a young child was sitting beside her; the same little girl who opened the door when I first arrived at Tante Zoe's house . The little girl also a white dress on and she played with a doll similarly attired. Tante Zoe smiled her gummy smile and beckoned towards me._

_Though her lips don't move I hear her soft voice in my ear. "Come to me, Mon Cheri." Come Kurt. Come Kurt... Kurt...Kurt..._

* * *

"Kurt, Kurt, Kurt?" Dave whispers, stroking my hair. "Do you feel better after your sleep?"

"Yes actually, "I reply smiling. "My head ache is gone." It was amazing, after my sleep I feel great and full of energy. The dream was so powerful and real. I grab my phone to check the date. Today is the day that I went to see Tante Zoe in my past time line. This coincidence as well as my panic attack earlier and the card suddenly showing up are signs I can't ignore. I have to go see Aunt Zoe today. Dave interrupts my racing thoughts.

"Good, I'm glad to hear it. I wouldn't want you to feel ill during our going away party. Can you believe it? Two days from now we'll be in New York!" Dave says excitedly as he moves to his drawer and hunts out a clean pair of underwear.

I have a similar drawer at his place. Ever since the day I went home with Dave, we have spent half the week at my home and half the week at his. We are very rarely separated. It gets complicated at times and I have gone to school on occasion with a less than stellar wardrobe but it is so worth it to be with Dave on a daily and nightly basis.

I get out of bed and walk over to where Dave is putting on his underwear and manage to get in a good grope before he playfully swats my hand away.

"You had your chance Hummel, and you blew it." Dave chuckles. "I have no time left; I have to get ready for the golf game."

"Ah Dave, that's the whole point, I didn't get chance to blow it." I whine pitifully.

"Tough luck!" Dave says, but pulls me in for a cuddle. He allows me to run my hands down his naked back but as soon as I get close to his underwear, he evades me again. "I'm in enough trouble with your Dad about pandering you by bringing up your breakfast. He's annoyed at you for getting drunk and at me for allowing it."

"And I bet you took the blame rather than rat on the true culprit." I said knowingly.

"Seb's going to be at the party tonight and I don't want to spoil it by any. He really is truly sorry."

"So you keep saying." I say smiling. One of the things I love about Dave is his absolute belief in redemption. He is always willing to give anyone a second, third or fourth chance to change.

"Oh did I tell you?" Dave says excitedly while donning his clothes, "Az is going to be able to make the party; he managed to change work shifts!"

"That's wonderful Dave!" I exclaim, truly happy for my boyfriend. The loss of Azimio's friendship was extremely hard on Dave. But as I predicted, it was just as hard for Azimio as well. It took the remainder of that school year, but he gradually came to terms with his friend being gay and slowly started a relationship with him again. It took Az a long time to get rid of all his homophobic ideas, but Dave was patient and had long talks with him. He finally accepted Dave and I as a couple and now a days, you wouldn't know he ever had a problem. This last summer, both Dave and Az have been working hard to save money for college. Az is going to Ohio State and has a summer security job that takes up a lot if his time. This will be the last time they will see each other before Dave and I head off to New York.

"So what are you doing today? Going shopping with girls?" Dave asks, meaning the Glee girls. He smiles at me, waiting for my answer while putting on his jeans.

"It was the plan, but I'm thinking of opting out. I have an errand to run; something I've suddenly thought of that I should do before leaving Lima. We'll be seeing them this evening anyways." I explain.

"Don't forget that Carol is counting on you to take her to my house in the afternoon before we get back to help set up the food."

"I won't forget. I can't wait to meet the lovely Natalie. I've heard nothing but good things about her from Carol and dad and the two of you, of course." I tease. Natalie is Paul's new girl friend he met at a PFLAG meeting. She is a single mother with a daughter who just came out at thirteen as a lesbian. Right from their first meeting, Paul and Natalie got on like a house on fire with similar interests and easy going attitudes. This will be the official first time out as a couple because Natalie felt that she and Paul should keep a low profile romantically until Paul's divorce was settled. The divorce has gone through and I am happy that Dave seems to have come to terms with his mom not being in his life. Both Carol and Natalie have filled the void as surrogate mothers. He will get a new younger sister out of the bargain, Jackie. He met her a few times at PFLAG meetings and they got on famously. Even with all the times I've been with David at their house I have yet to meet Natalie or Jackie there. Paul invites them over when we're not there.

"Natalie really wants to meet you too. She told me that she can't wait to meet the man who saved my dad's life." Dave replies proudly.

"She's making too big a deal out of it. All I did was suggest that he get his heart checked out that's all."

"Kurt, I wish you wouldn't down play it. You didn't just suggest he get his heart checked out, you insisted and nagged...pardon me, I mean earnestly implored him to go to a doctor. " Dave amended when I shot him an annoyed look. They wouldn't have found the blockage in the artery in his heart otherwise. He was walking around like a ticking time bomb and the least little bit of stress could have set him off. He most likely would have died from a massive heart attack. Its a big deal to me, Dad and Natalie."

"I only insisted because I know how scared and upset I was when my dad had a heart attack." I reply. I certainly can't say that Paul had a heart attack and died in my previous time line.

"I just want you to know how eternally grateful I am. I love you so much." Dave pulls me close and kisses me. It is tender and passionate, only Dave can kiss like that. I don't know if it is my thousandth kiss with him or my ten thousandth, he still thrills me to my toes.

"I love you too!" I declare and then I try and feel his ass.

"Enough you evil tempter! I will resist your charms!" he exclaims and makes an impromptu cross with his two index fingers.

"Right on queue, my dad shouts up from the bottom of the stairs. "David are you coming? We won't make our tee time if you don't hurry."

We both snicker like juvenile boys at the 'are you coming' question. "Most likely tonight!" Dave whispers to me, grinning. He gives me a playful slap on my bum, one more kiss on the lips and announces, "Let The smack talk commence." He then shouts down to my dad in an enthusiastic voice, "Burt! Prepare to have your ass handed go you on a platter!" He looks back at me, eyes lively and twinkling. Dave, the love of my life smiles his beautiful smile that always makes my heart sing, waves bye to me and then bounds down the stairs, eager to seize the day.

"How I love that man." I say out loud to myself then I hurry and dress myself. I have a lot to be thankful for, and before I leave Lima I want to visit the Creole witch that made it all possible.

* * *

I arrive at the small bungalow and knock timidly in the door. I inwardly berate myself for just arriving and not making an appointment. After the dream I was so certain that Aunt Zoe wanted to see me that I didn't bother calling ahead.

The door opens anyway and Desire stands there. After a few seconds in silence I finally realise she expects me to tell her why I'm at her door.

"May I see Tante Zoe?" I ask.

"You don't have an appointment"

"No I don't but I believe she is expecting me.

Desiree wonders down the hall, stops and turns around and motions me to sit in the parlor.

I close the door and move into the room she indicated and sit down on the couch. The room is already occupied. The little girl in my dream was there playing with her doll. "Hi there," I say smiling. She just stares at me long and hard. I try staring back but I can't hold her penetrating gaze. Her eyes have an ages old look about them, like I am staring into eternity. I find it rather unnerving.

Luckily comes back to fetch me. We walk down the hall into the garish room I remember from my time before. Tante Zoe is dressed in her periwinkle dress and is perched on her big chair looking very diminutive and frail. She looks up and gives me a brilliant smile transforming her features. I have this odd thought that I am glad that Desiree had fetched the old woman's ill-fitting dentures before she got me.

I am surprised at the welling of affection and gratitude I suddenly feel for this elderly woman and I impulsively walk up to her and kiss her on her cheek in greeting before sitting down to face her.

"Oh my!" Tante Zoe giggles girlishly. "I can't remember the last time a handsome (click) young man kissed we met before?"

I smile bashfully, embarrassed by the fact that I keep forgetting that Tante Zoe has not met me before in this time line. It might be an anniversary of sorts for me, but not for her.

"Yes and no. I came here today in my past time line." I start.

"Oh I see, I must of sold you my herbs (click) and they helped you." Tante Zoe said satisfied. Her dentures making the familiar clicking sound whenever she talks.

"Yes, they did and I have come here to thank you." I answer giving her a happy smile.

Tante Zoe leans forward and stares at me intently for a moment than laughs and shakes her head. "You be the boy in (click) that came to me in my dream. I'm as near-sighted in my visions (click) as I am in real life" she says smiling.

"I had a dream with you in it. I woke up with a compulsion to see you."

Tante Zoe nodded, "Did you accomplish (click) what you set out to do? Are you (click) happy?"

"Yes and I am wonderfully happy!" I reply

"In my very long life (click) I have only met a handful of people that have accomplished what you did - going back in time. I think the universe is as wondrous (click) and mysterious as it is vast. We have no inkling of its power."

"Well you had a hand in it."

"I hand out the (click) herbs made from a recipe that was passed down from my grandmother who received from her (click) grandmother. It is an ancient recipe (click) from the distant, distant past. Along with the recipe, my grandmother (click) told me wonderful stories of people she helped and the experiences they told her. She remembered stories (click) from her grandmother and stories from before that. She made me (click) memorize them so we can keep the oral history alive." Tante Zoe, suddenly sighed and stopped talking. She gazed off into the distance, lost in her own thoughts.

"Tante Zoe? What are thinking?"

"I'm worried child. My record keeping (click) days will soon be over. I have no one to continue my work of (click) recording. My daughter died before me, my grandchildren (click) are living their own lives and are not interested in my work. Desiree helps me but she has no interest in what I do, other than indulging an favored old lady's (click) whims. None of my family have visions, they can't connect with people or their deeper universal self. I fear the (click) herbs and the chance of helping people change their lives will be lost when I die.

"What about that little girl; the cute one that looks about five years old?"

"You mean Celeste? She is so (click) young. I won't have time to impart everything." Tante Zoe says but I see that she is mulling it over carefully.

"Even if you are able to impart a small amount, it would be something. Desiree can help her in the beginning." I reason. "I might be wrong, but I have strong feeling about her. Perhaps because I saw her playing with her dolls, right by your chair in my dream. Am I assuming wrongly that she dreamed of me?"

"Celeste was in your (click) dream?" Tante Zoe asked excitedly. "How marvelous! I may have someone (click) take on my work after I die after all. She could have been in my (click) vision, but not in my sight range, that's why I did not see her. Thank you for (click) suggesting her."

She reached over and rang a small dinner bell. Desire appeared in the room almost immediately. "Can you (click) bring in Celeste to join us?" Desire shrugged and went off. Moments later Celeste walked in the door with her doll and plunked herself down in the exact spot she did in my dream. She looked up, staring intently at me as she did before. This time, it didn't bother me. Tante Zoe smiled at the young girl for a while and then turned to me.

"Now please tell us your (click) story as it happened so we can add it to our oral history." She settled into her chair and made herself comfortable. The elder lady paused, "I hope it doesn't concern missing (click) pet toys. I had a crazy girl in here the other day, saying I saved her (click) relationship with Lord somebody. It took me a while to realise she was talking about her (click) cat."

I laughed, "No it doesn't concern cats or any other animals. I know the girl you are referring to. Her name is Britney and she recommended that I come to you, the first time."

"I believe there is an unfathomable (click) but necessary universal plan, and I feel the people I help who go back in time make (click) important edits to the work in progress. But for the life of me, I do not know why I had to deal with that (click) silly girl."

"Britney is very special, I have a feeling she has a better idea of the workings of the universe than any of us."

Tante Zoe chuckled, "The world has had stranger prophets, I am never surprised by the workings of the universe. So tell me; why did you want to go back?"

"To save Dave, this boy I knew."

"And did you save him.?"

"Oh more than that! I think I found my soul mate." I explain happily.

"Soul mate? No wonder you were successful! Love is so powerful. I am positive that the universe operates on love." Tante Zoe sits straighter and leans forward. "Tell me your (click) experience. What happened to you when you took my herbs."

"Gosh, I don't know where to start." I pause while I gather my thoughts. "I suppose I should start at the beginning. I say beginning, but it started out as and end, an end to the life I wanted to save."

Tante Zoe chuckled. "You'll find endings are always (click) beginnings."

I smile at this amazing, beautiful woman, settle into my chair and start my story.

"I remember the exact time I heard of David Karofsky's death..."

* * *

**A/N**

***"Until..." is a song from the 2001 Academy Award-nominated and Golden Globe-winning film Kate & Leopold, written and sung by Sting. The song won the Golden Globe Award for Best Original Song and was nominated for the Academy Award in the same category** (Wiki)


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